testgasm: portalcaps @ tumblr (the humans are dead)
WHEATLEY ([personal profile] testgasm) wrote in [community profile] ataraxion2012-08-23 09:14 pm

008 [AUDIO]

[And now, a public service announcement from your resident lord and master of gross exaggeration, poster child of pointless overreaction, supreme champion of the ninety-mile-an-hour whinge--]

There's a cow in the oxygen garden.

[He doesn't even bother to hide the undercurrent of disgust in the audio feed, an edge to his voice that makes it clear he's most likely had a recent run-in with the aforementioned cow and/or a cow by-product.]

There's a cow in the oxygen garden why is there a cow in the oxygen garden on what strange, bizarro planet did any of you think this was a good idea?

Agh, it's--nevermind, I'm absolutely positive that at least some of you come from strange, bizarro planets where this sort of thing is acceptable. I mean, the cats and the dogs and--I heard there's a horse, too--are bad enough, now we've got livestock.

And don't even--don't even get me started on the bloody birds. Filthy. Eugh.

I know we're probably still hung up on certain unnamed parties forgetting how to swim, and yes, fair enough, it's tragic, but I think we could all use a, ah. Friendly reminder. This is, in fact, a spaceship. Not a zoo. How is that--What's the point, anyway? It's all--it's all great that the ship packed up your giant killer wolf and dumped it in your locker just for you, but maybe the rest of us are not entirely comfortable with the idea of cows and horses and giant killer wolves out! Anyone think of that?

You can't walk five feet around here without running into someone's pet. We have got to start talking about what to do with all these animals. Honestly.
andblockbuster: (I will drown you in international waters)

[personal profile] andblockbuster 2012-08-24 01:31 am (UTC)(link)
[You are going to make like fifty people come after you with pitchforks and aforementioned killer wolves, brosef, and he's not sheltering you.]

I still don't get why everyone from that universe has giant wolves. Do they just have problems that only having giant wolves will solve?

[... Mostly because he's probably going to be chased down too. Animals are weird. Alayne's wolf is okay, though. She can stay.]
tumbleweeds: (☁ drape)

audio;

[personal profile] tumbleweeds 2012-08-24 01:51 am (UTC)(link)
Because milk. Now leave her alone.
surrogates: (pic#2095583)

audio;

[personal profile] surrogates 2012-08-24 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
Jaye just took the words out of my mouth. If you can keep the thing living, it could produce milk and some of us might want that occasionally.

[ a beat. ]

And if push comes to shove, pretty sure most of us are okay with eating the meat.
stacked: 《 leхιa4 | lj 》 (❝ if we are god's unwanted children)

audio;

[personal profile] stacked 2012-08-24 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
Screw pet, that thing's a walking burger.
stacked: 《 poιѕonoυѕιconѕ | lj 》 (GRITTY » can't have nice things)

audio;

[personal profile] stacked 2012-08-24 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
Dude. Jaye. Burgers.

[ YOU ARE CAUSING DEEP EMOTIONAL PAIN JAYE. ]
tumbleweeds: (☁ waiting)

audio;

[personal profile] tumbleweeds 2012-08-24 01:58 am (UTC)(link)
When she's older.

I've got chickens too, you can have omelets in the meantime.
theyalldieforme: (John - mom?)

[personal profile] theyalldieforme 2012-08-24 02:06 am (UTC)(link)
You know you can eat birds, right?
walksonrooftops: (that is not kosher)

video

[personal profile] walksonrooftops 2012-08-24 02:18 am (UTC)(link)
You're not supposed to touch the cow or the chickens.

[Or Jaye will yank your tail and/or other limbs. Asato knows. He's been there.]
stacked: 《 leхιa4 | lj 》 (❝ if we are god's unwanted children)

audio;

[personal profile] stacked 2012-08-24 02:21 am (UTC)(link)
You're killing me here.

[ but fine, whatever. jaye wants to have a cow, jaye gets her cow. ]
tumbleweeds: (☁ jean jacket)

audio;

[personal profile] tumbleweeds 2012-08-24 02:31 am (UTC)(link)
I'll try to steal more cows next time.

[ c: ]
logicals: ᴀɴᴅ ʙᴇғᴏʀᴇ I ᴡᴇɴᴛ ᴛᴏ sʟᴇᴇᴘ. (⊱   Iғ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀs ᴜᴘ ᴛᴏ ʏᴏᴜ)

[personal profile] logicals 2012-08-24 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
Some people might have missed milk. Or perhaps steak.
SH
yardbird: Because it ain't no trivia about my flat in West Bolivia. (your honor; i'ma have to get rid of ya)

[personal profile] yardbird 2012-08-24 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
[YOU GOT SOMETHING AGAINST BIRDS, BRO?]

Some of these animals are more than just pets to people here.
realslimstrider: (Yo.)

[video]

[personal profile] realslimstrider 2012-08-24 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
[There's just a shot of flapping wings here. Just to be a dick.]
falsehoods: (from the land doth life flow)

[personal profile] falsehoods 2012-08-24 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
I was unaware there were so many beasts here. I knew of only a few.
yardbird: Have I ever mentioned that I'm going to Hell? (anyway... how is your sex life?)

audio;

[personal profile] yardbird 2012-08-24 02:51 am (UTC)(link)
...Can I have omelets?

[OH WOW way to breach conversation with someone you don't even know, Murphy.]

I mean, I can, uh... Shit, I can help feed 'em, if you'd like. And make sure some asshole doesn't try to come and have a barbeque.
andblockbuster: (I came out of my mom's butthole.)

[personal profile] andblockbuster 2012-08-24 02:52 am (UTC)(link)
My theory is everyone from Westeros worships them like gods. [He is totally proud of this theory. And he can't, you know, just ask. It's better to wildly speculate.]

At least we don't have a rodent problem.
tumbleweeds: (☁ hooded glance)

audio;

[personal profile] tumbleweeds 2012-08-24 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
Considering how many people might want to right now, if you do that, you can have some eggs. I've only got the two hens, the rooster, and the cow... but yeah, sure.

Who are you, again?
insufferableprick: (Default)

permatext;

[personal profile] insufferableprick 2012-08-24 02:53 am (UTC)(link)
you know
someone get this on video cause this is fucking rich
i actually
kind of
agree with you
worlds ending everyone pack your bags
a strider has conceded a point to the wheatmeister
but seriously
there are fucking GRAZERS eating my only source of oxygen
getting their savannah on and tearing up central park
no one else finds this
worrisome
in the least??
cows gotta eat but i gotta breathe
and i know how to prioritize
tumbleweeds: (☁ listening)

[personal profile] tumbleweeds 2012-08-24 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
People've been drinking milk for ages.

Yes, she is. The two hens and the rooster that were near her, too.
insufferableprick: (Default)

threadjack! still permatext;

[personal profile] insufferableprick 2012-08-24 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
sometimes when a farmer and a cow love each other very much........
well think about it
only pregnant cows make milk
yardbird: But not around the children. (acid is not a monday morning drug)

audio;

[personal profile] yardbird 2012-08-24 02:59 am (UTC)(link)
I'll see what I can do. I work around the oxygen garden most of the time, so I can help keep an eye on 'em.

...

I'm Murphy. Hi.
tumbleweeds: (☁ hair in face)

audio;

[personal profile] tumbleweeds 2012-08-24 03:01 am (UTC)(link)
I'd appreciate it. I've been feeding them, sometimes with some help from Knives, but I don't like spending all my time in there.

[ Not after her run-in with Klaus there, even though he can find her anywhere else now. ]

Jaye.

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