ataraxion | ╰xx2╮[video]

[ It's about that time again. The one where Bells is particularly bored, lacking a little (okay, a lot) in manners and really just can't stand all the messages and videos going around that kind of seem unimportant. Rather than laying in his bed, however, he's just standing in the hall outside his room. ]

Hi, sooo. I've got a few things to get off my chest, and I'm sure since the majority of you are the sharing-and-caring, touchy-feely types, you'll probably listen. If not, that's cool too. Okay. [ Just get on with it. ] Here's the thing:

People disappear all the time. They leave or die or simply vanish without a clue. It happens. No amount of feeling sorry for 'em or anyone else is gonna get you anywhere. They're gone. They're not coming back. The best you can do, if you can even call it that, is hope that whatever's left is at some sort of peace.

Sometimes, that doesn't help either. Stilllll. This ship isn't the worst thing out there. I haven't been here all that long, but I'm pretty sure that works for just about every situation.

[ He takes a breath - this is a particularly long speech for him - and holds up two fingers to indicate his second thought. ]

That being said—I know it's been a while since I've seen this many humans wandering around of their own free will, but seriously. What the fuck are you doing? Shouldn't you be more worried about getting off this boat rather than trying to stay? Can we even do that? 'Cause I'll eventually need some things that don't exist here, and it's kinda driving me crazy.

[ Up comes the third finger. ]

And I don't usually do this either, but uh. Does anyone throw parties? Maybe it should be, well, a thing. How can something this big be this boring? Fuck. I don't get it. [ He drops his hand and just shrugs. ] Yeah. I guess that's all for now.

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I should be glad to have someone teach you, if it meant I could secure a promise from you that we'd not be subjected to you any longer.

Uh. No? I don't make promises, and I don't owe you any favors. You'll just have to deal with it like everyone else.

[His voice drips venom.]

Just to be expected. An idiot unwilling to cease his idiocy. Self-indulgent, foolish, and so utterly useless that all he can do is this. I suppose if you stopped being an imbecile, you'd stop existing altogether, wouldn't you?

You don't think I've heard all that before? [ Hold on. Wait a second. He's just going to sit and laugh because really. ] You're not the first to say it, and you're not gonna be the last either. Is this how you try to win all your arguments—insult them until they run off and promise to never do it again?

Sorry. You've got the wrong kinda guy.

An argument?

[He scoffs.]

No, Mr. "Bells," you quite misunderstand. This isn't an argument, because an argument is a match between two equal intellects attempting to work their way mutually towards a solution. This is to an argument what euthanasia is to a duel.

But please, do tell me about the other times you've been told to be silent. Let me bask in the knowledge that there are other people who recognize how worthless your words and deeds are.

Listen. I don't give a fuck who you think you are, but you're really starting to piss me off. If you want to stay in one piece, I'd suggest shutting your mouth. [ He pauses ever so slightly. ]

And maybe you should actually learn who it is you're dealing with before being an annoying little bitch. Just a word of advice.

Oh, I know full well with whom I am dealing. [He puts particular - and particularly obnoxious - emphasis on avoiding ending his sentence with a preposition.]

You don't exactly hide your true character in your interactions upon this network, after all.

My true character? By all means—why don't you tell me who you think I am. 'Cause I obviously haven't been living with that fact for centuries.

No, no, please - you tell me. I should very much like to hear your whining self-flagellation. Please, tell me what it is about yourself you've had to "live with," as though you don't have control over yourself, you sniveling addict.

I think I'm done talking to you.

[ He's just going to kindly give him the finger and end the conversation (for now). How's that for control? He really wants to rip Edgeworth's head off. ]

[Edgeworth scowls at that. He'd pushed too hard, then. Well, there would always be other opportunities to drive his point home.]

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