video + voice | make me a beast half as brave i'd be the same

[amethysts]

[private to jesse pinkman and miles edgesworth | not encrypted | video]

[The Libby--and it's just Libby, even if her face is clean and her hair is gently washed and flowing smooth and purely blonde--who appears in the video is relieved. Not drunk, not jittery with tension, not panicked or cornered or twisted by anger. Just relieved, smiling with an old, recently missing quirk to it, wrapped up in an oversized black jacket and smoking with a hand that shakes but only slightly.]

Hey, guys. Guess who I can't find? Um--do you want to like. Watch a stupid future movie or whatev, some time? I've got--I've got a lot of free time. So. You know. Or anything.

And, um--maybe we should all check in. Every morning and tonight. Your girls too, Jesse. I just ydon't want--well. A lot of people have been going missing. [She ruffles her hair with her free hand, but still. For the first time since she got here she can breathe.] But yeah. Anything you want.

[private to james rogers | not encrypted | voice]

Um. Hey.

[Nervous, but that's fine, right? Everything is fine today.]

[public | voice]

Loki's gone. I don't know who of you care, but unless he shows up and calls me an idiot on this thing--he's gone. So. Tally that up, I figure.

[A quiet, disbelieving laugh, her voice mellow and soft, and Libby falls back on her bed.]

Comments

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

Me either. I just want to do something good. Helping you out--I mean, I want to. None of those jerks support you.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

That is their prerogative. If they think what I am doing is wrong, or wrong-headed, it's their right to oppose it.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

Well, fuck them. Maybe if they didn't suck at their jobs we wouldn't have a pile of dead bodies everywhere.

[A beat.] I--sorry. Cursing.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

[He hesitates - then reassures her:]

No, it's fine. Just better not to curse where children can hear; that is all. And...I think that's unfair. They're doing the best they can, just as we all are. The fact that they're largely unequipped to deal with enemies not already shooting at them is not exactly their fault.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

But they act like they are. You don't see me acting like I know anything about piloting the shuttles or working on the large mechanics. I'm learning engines, but I'm a computer engineer. That's what I know right now.

I mean, you're one of the only ones who knows what he's doing, actually. But like--how old is Tyke? What does she know about anything? As far as I can tell she can just fight. And that's good, we need fighters. But should she be in charge? I sure as fuck shouldn't be in charge of Engineering.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

She has...taken authority upon herself. Which is...It is commendable that someone has.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

Why?

[There's a reason that sometimes (often) Libby is as blunt and obnoxious as Miles. They honestly don't understand people taking offense--Miles believes in perfect truth and Libby believes in flawless data, and all of the messy human complication is an error to be eliminated. Libby doesn't get that this is disrespectful. She just sees that Tyke is less qualified than she should be, on paper. And that doesn't make sense.]

Why don't we have votes? Nothing else here runs like a ship. They say we have to act like it, but nothing else works like that. I think the people who say that are just afraid we wouldn't give them power after.

[And there is nothing she hates more than arbitrary authority.]

I think--I think we count. We should have a say. It's not fair.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

[He considers this a moment.]

You know the phrase, of course, "decisions are made by those who show up."

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

No?

[But she can get the idea.]

I just--I want to have hierarchy. I want to know who I answer to. This is stupid.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

So you would that we had a leader. I suppose it's understandable, though I...do not know that I would trust in their selection.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

Better than ten different dudes telling us what to do and none of them agreeing.

Loki could've done it.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

Would you have wanted him to?

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

At least he made sense.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

Perhaps a bit too much.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

I don't know. When he told me I was stupid it was--it wasn't like the people here. They say I'm stupid like that's it. I'm done. He said I could be something.

[She's melancholy again. Josias is bruising her more than she wants to admit. Everyone who says she's stupid and then just...doesn't help, or their help is a backhanded kind.]

What are we supposed to do?

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

We're to continue on, without question.

[He firms his jaw, hearing the sorrow in her voice.]

We're capable of just as much as he was. And we've no hidden agendas.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

Yeah.

[She exhales, low and soft.]

You ever think there's something wrong with us, though?

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

...Like what?

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

Like why--

[She hesitates because she lacks the words for this.]

Like I get you. And I know when I'm not being a brat you get me. Like--we can argue and it makes sense even if you piss me the fuck off sometimes.

But it doesn't work like that with other people and I know it's not because of how old we are. And I used to keep--thinking other peolle were just stupid, but what if it's us? What if we're a whole different coding language and that's why this doesn't make any sense?

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

[That...makes...a lot of sense. He looks down and clears his throat, suddenly not really able to think of a good counterargument to that. He furrows his brow for a while.]

That's, ah...

[He shakes his head.]

Well. Everyone experiences...cultural differences. That doesn't mean anything is wrong with anyone.

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[amethysts]

It still sucks.

[Succinct.]

And I'm tired of people being assholes to us about it. It's not--I can't help being fucked up, like, what? I just magically stop being a huge mess? You magically don't have all the shit that happened to you?

[ voice | private | unencrypted ]

[jurisimpudent]

[His voice goes a bit tense.]

Is this under a filter?

[ voice | private | 100% encryption | prior two responses hidden ]

[amethysts]

[She is off today, haphazard and careless, but Edgeworth snaps her back into functioning.]

I--fuck. I'm sorry. Shut down now. Nobody accessed.

[ voice | private | 100% encryption | prior two responses hidden ]

[jurisimpudent]

[And he relaxes.]

...It's fine. No need for apology; merely something I'd sooner others not know.

[ voice | private | 100% encryption ]

[amethysts]

No, it's not-- [she makes a frustrated little noise]--I don't know why I'm so fucking spacy lately. I keep forgetting things, I'm wicked tired, I can't focus. And it's not Loki, I just--I don't know what's wrong.