[ There's absolutely no preamble as Jayne settles in to say what he wants to say. ]

Why'd I get weird porn in my locker? Is this what y'all look at here?

[ Because he does not approve. ]

[There's a ginger on the screen, a pretty face with fiery eyes. When she speaks, it's with a Scottish accent and a bite in her words.]

Am I the only one who thinks it's a bit boring that we're on a spaceship that's not actually going anywhere? Where's the saphire planets? Where's the American Doughboys marching off to war?

Where's Rio! Why do I have the outfit for that if we're not even going!

[Amy sighs, frustrated. There's no way she's the only person who sees how lame this is.]

Even this ship isn't so impressive. Oh sure, it's big, but isn't it big on the outside too? What sort of a boring spaceship is that? Anyone could do that! The next thing you know, they'll be forcing us all to wear bow ties to make it seem interesting!

[Sorry Doctor, they're still not cool.]

Whatever. If anyone sees a Roman with a stupid face and a nose marching about, send him straight to room 021 » 003. That's the only thing that's going to make me like this ship better.