[text] eridan's guide to getting back to normal

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Anyone who knows Eridan might notice that his text is... lacking a certain something this go around. Other than his color, though, he seems to be doing just fine!!!! Really.]

ok evveryone else has done their wwelcome spiels about this fuckin ship so im just gonna throww out a lil more information to make sure evveryones up to speed

firstly if youre human an youvve nevver seen any other species wwith intellects that may or may not be on an equivvalent or higher levvel than yours heres a lil friendly reminder to not get all fuckin xenophobic
there are other species aboard the ss fuck me wwith a chainsaww an wwe deservve all a the same respect an suchlike that youd givve your owwn species
if youvve got a problem wwith that then please by all fuckin means start a coddamn kerfuffle i wwould fuckin lovve to see howw quick that gets shut dowwn

secondly that jump shit happens evvery month so keep it in mind
dont go wwanderin the ship wwhen you hear announcements for the next jump come on the pbs thinkin youll get some secretivve time to be fuckin spies or wwhatevver
if you arent in a gravv couch wwhen the ship hits jump
you turn into fuckin paste
no second chances no oh sorry givve me an extra fivve minutes
this shit is clockwwork
so wwhat you gotta make sure youre doin is get yourself to the couches at least an hour or twwo before wwe jump
itll savve evveryone the time an effort itll otherwwise take to get your fuckin body mopped up
actually just to be fuckin safe dont go anywwhere on this ship alone unless its a populated area
there are some fucked up things goin on an you dont wwanna get lost trust me it fuckin sucks

thirdly on a more personal levvel some a us had to deal wwith a pretty stupid situation at our last outpost stop so if you see some a us wwanderin around or actin a lil funny wwould you kindly calm your rumble spheres an just let us be
thatd be fuckin awwesome a you youll earn exactly twwo karmic points towwards me not hatin you for life

other than that wwelcome to the tranquility dont bother tryin to figure out a wway home if there wwas one right noww none a us firstcomers wwould still be here
try not to fuckin die an wwe wwill all just be happy fuckin clams at the bottom a the sea

Comments

text;

[fronds]

[ she doesn't know what's been wrong with him ever since she dragged him out of strela. all she knows is she doesn't like it. but she doesn't know how to fix it, and it feels too uncomfortable to ask him how he feels, is he okay, does he want to talk about it? it's like she's making a move on him, and she doesn't want that. like trying to pail someone that isn't even your matesprit. it's not right.

so she'll focus on something else. another important thing. ]

W)(ere's my apology? 38T

text;

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwhich one

[because he's sure that he has to apologize for strela, too, even though he keeps thinking it wasn't my fault! he'd nearly gotten her caught, either way.

he has a feeling she's talking about the other apology. he's not sure if he can do that yet.]

text;

[fronds]

All of t)(em!

[video]

[lacksgrace]

Thanks for the tip, I guess? [ He's kind of scratching his head a little at that. ] By the way, what's a chainsaw? It doesn't really sound like you'd want to be fucked with it. Yeah, uh. Could just be me though.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[SIGH] A chainsaww's a motor-run blade kinda thing. An' yeah, that's wwhy I picked it.

[voice]

[lacksgrace]

That's actually something worth knowing. [ And he's totally serious about it. ] I don't really care too much about anything else everyone's said. There seems to be too many rules to follow.

video.

[shoyu]

Ah -- [ well, he's kind of worried at that listless tone of writing and what eridan's saying. but eridan looks like the type to balk and bristle at any signs of overt concern. so soysauce is just going to settle for a cheerful, ] -- I hope you're faring alright, Eridan?

voice.

[uncodlyawwesome]

[Well, SOMEBODY understands this troll and his various habits of tsunderism]

Yeah, I'm fine I guess. [...suspicious!!!] Wwhy?

voice.

[shoyu]

No particular reason, sir! One can care for a friend's wellbeing at any time, no?

[ he figures if he's friendly and open enough, eridan will talk of his own accord eventually! ]

[meddler]

[ ...oh, is this a modification of Earth's language? Well, let's see if he can work it out. ]

that is good to knoww.

but I just so happen to think I wwill be able to find a wway to get us back to our proper places.

it's sort of my speciality.

[uncodlyawwesome]

[WOW NO GET OUT]

wwoww no dont use my fuckin quirk thats all kinds a rude

an yeah sure its your specialty just like its the specialty a like evvery other person around here wwho thinks theyre the special chosen one

text;

[meddler]

[ OOPS THIS DOESN'T NORMALLY HAPPEN TO HIM. ok. that's a lie. but it doesn't happen to him EVERY time, at least. ]

That's an insult to your species? You really ought to mention that, it could lead to all sorts of confusion. :( [ he'd heard somewhere smileys were cool. they added character at the very least. ] What exactly is your species?

But here's the thing. I'm not a "special chosen one" as you put it. Just the Doctor. ;)

Video

[believeinmagic]

Oh... Thank you for the information...

[News flash: Terra doesn't know anything about space.]

...

..

.

But why would that turn us into paste?

voice

[uncodlyawwesome]

Yeah, no problem.

-- Because'a the gravvitational force that'd be exerted on your fuckin' body, basically. Wwe hit jump, the g-force flattens you to a paste unless you're inside the gravv couches. That's just howw it is.

[believeinmagic]

Oh.

I will be careful then...

[voice]

[51stcentury]

You certainly have an original way of phrasing things, I'll give you that.

[voice]

[uncodlyawwesome]

Wwell yeah. In case you havven't noticed, I'm kinda a wwordsmith.

Voice

[skindeep]

Sound advice. I especially like the "try not to die" suggestion.

Voice

[uncodlyawwesome]

Figure it's pretty fuckin' obvvious but sometimes you need'a remind people'a the basic shit.

[video]

[the_vishual]

You're crankier than usual, sir. [ Just a quiet observation, yup. ]

[video]

[uncodlyawwesome]

[HUFF] No I'm not. I'm nevver crankier than anythin', I'm exactly the same as alwways.

[statsraaden]

I'm not new, but thanks. It needed saying.

[uncodlyawwesome]

yeah i knoww youre not neww thanks for thats heads up
an a course it needed sayin thats wwhy i say it evvery fuckin jump

text;

[superswank]

If you're not human, what are you supposed to be?

text;

[uncodlyawwesome]

alternian
wwe also go by trolls wwhatevver floats your boat
gray skin horns that kind a shit you might a seen us wwere hard to miss