anonymous text | backdated to the twenty-fifth

[amethysts]

Title: The Long Reacharound of Justice
Pairings: Miles Edgeworth/Justice, Carver Hawke/Anders (background)
Rating: They don't fuck like right out in the open (NO KIDS ALLOWED)
Summary: Miles Edgeworth can't resist the call of Justice...
Author: Mockingbird



"No!" The fiery, cravat wearing prosecutor insisted, turning his head away and throwing an arm over his eyes. "I mustn't! I must stay pure for the law! And what about Carver Stabber? What would Anders Butters think?"

"Anders is of no concern," Justice Lawfulness boomed, in his awesome and super badass voice, "We have an...understanding about the use of this body. Besides, I look better in it."

Indeed he did. Shirtless and oiled up with lots of like, fucking expensive oils that smelled good, Ander's Butters' dumbass ponytail removed so his auburn hair could flow slightly in the breeze of a vent overhead in Miles' Kilometres' room. He was amazingly fuckable. Like a nun would fuck him. But Miles Kilometres was even worse than a nun.

"I'm a virgin!" Miles Kilometres confessed, weeping delicate tears as Justice Lawfulness took him into his strong, justice-filled arms and pressed a kiss to his mouth, and the kiss was totally fucking hot too. You'd need steel tongs to handle that kiss. Miles Kilometres couldn't struggle any longer.

"I'll crush your virginity like I crush wrongdoing," Justice Lawfulness said, and ripped open Miles' Kilometres' shirt and wrecked his stupid cravat and no one ever missed it because it looks absolutely fucking stupid, for fuck's sake Edgeworth Nedgewart when you read this and you better read it lose that thing.

Moving on.

"Oh, Justice Lawfulness!" Miles Kilometres crooned, as Justice Lawfulness carried him to bed and ravished the everloving fuck out of him. Just ravished for hours. Tons of ravishing. And it was incredibly hot and they used blueberry flavoured condoms for oral. After, they had pie. It was delicious. Miles' Kilometres' virginity was crushed like injustice.

[locked to jesse, syg, and mouse | not anon | text]

LMAO buds look at this edgey has a boyfriend

[This all is why Libby should never be bored and drunk at the same time.]

Comments

[jurisimpudent]

A blue smiley face. Brilliant. Take down this filth.

anon text

[amethysts]

No.

You know what one of the problems with this ship is? It's a joke, but no one's laughing.

[jurisimpudent]

You know what one of the problems with this ship is? People leave obscenity up for children to see.

[amethysts]

Because...that's worse than when they see people die on video, are attacked by monsters, and trapped in a hellship?

I'll edit the rating.

[jurisimpudent]

Of course it's not, but this is something we can do something about by not being idiots. And also this is libel.

[amethysts]

Sue me.

If you can prove anything about who I am, which you can't, and if this isn't a convenient way for me to deal with the Libby issue I have. Who knows?

[jurisimpudent]

Just take it down!

[amethysts]

How will you make me do that?

[jurisimpudent]

I will appeal to your sense of righteousness.

[amethysts]

What sense is that?

[jurisimpudent]

The sense where you know that this is entirely wrong.

[amethysts]

Is it going to kill you?

[jurisimpudent]

[It's quite possible.]

That's beside the point.

[amethysts]

No, that is the point.

This is what stings you? Words?

[jurisimpudent]

Don't try to make this into something didactic. This is obscenity.

[amethysts]

Yes, yes it is. We've been over that.

[jurisimpudent]

And ergo yes of course I am offended by it.

[amethysts]

And it's not going to kill you to be offended.

[jurisimpudent]

It doesn't kill me when I am hit in the face, either, but I don't precisely like that

[amethysts]

What doesn't kill you...you know what they say.

[jurisimpudent]

What doesn't kill you is not by necessity permissible under the law. Is that it, pray tell?

[amethysts]

Oh, sharp.

Like I said. Sue me.

[jurisimpudent]

Take it down so I don't have to.

[amethysts]

How long are you going to talk before you realize that you can't threaten me into taking it down?

For the record, this story in no way claims to be factual.

[jurisimpudent]

Then change the names.