anonymous text | backdated to the twenty-fifth

[amethysts]

Title: The Long Reacharound of Justice
Pairings: Miles Edgeworth/Justice, Carver Hawke/Anders (background)
Rating: They don't fuck like right out in the open (NO KIDS ALLOWED)
Summary: Miles Edgeworth can't resist the call of Justice...
Author: Mockingbird



"No!" The fiery, cravat wearing prosecutor insisted, turning his head away and throwing an arm over his eyes. "I mustn't! I must stay pure for the law! And what about Carver Stabber? What would Anders Butters think?"

"Anders is of no concern," Justice Lawfulness boomed, in his awesome and super badass voice, "We have an...understanding about the use of this body. Besides, I look better in it."

Indeed he did. Shirtless and oiled up with lots of like, fucking expensive oils that smelled good, Ander's Butters' dumbass ponytail removed so his auburn hair could flow slightly in the breeze of a vent overhead in Miles' Kilometres' room. He was amazingly fuckable. Like a nun would fuck him. But Miles Kilometres was even worse than a nun.

"I'm a virgin!" Miles Kilometres confessed, weeping delicate tears as Justice Lawfulness took him into his strong, justice-filled arms and pressed a kiss to his mouth, and the kiss was totally fucking hot too. You'd need steel tongs to handle that kiss. Miles Kilometres couldn't struggle any longer.

"I'll crush your virginity like I crush wrongdoing," Justice Lawfulness said, and ripped open Miles' Kilometres' shirt and wrecked his stupid cravat and no one ever missed it because it looks absolutely fucking stupid, for fuck's sake Edgeworth Nedgewart when you read this and you better read it lose that thing.

Moving on.

"Oh, Justice Lawfulness!" Miles Kilometres crooned, as Justice Lawfulness carried him to bed and ravished the everloving fuck out of him. Just ravished for hours. Tons of ravishing. And it was incredibly hot and they used blueberry flavoured condoms for oral. After, they had pie. It was delicious. Miles' Kilometres' virginity was crushed like injustice.

[locked to jesse, syg, and mouse | not anon | text]

LMAO buds look at this edgey has a boyfriend

[This all is why Libby should never be bored and drunk at the same time.]

Comments

[amethysts]

Oh, sharp.

Like I said. Sue me.

[jurisimpudent]

Take it down so I don't have to.

[amethysts]

How long are you going to talk before you realize that you can't threaten me into taking it down?

For the record, this story in no way claims to be factual.

[jurisimpudent]

Then change the names.

[amethysts]

Is that all?

[jurisimpudent]

It's a start.

[amethysts]

Done!

[jurisimpudent]

That is not very good

[amethysts]

You're going to make yourself sick being this worked up.

[jurisimpudent]

And whose fault is that?

[amethysts]

Yours.

[jurisimpudent]

Incorrect; it's yours

[amethysts]

There's this concept called dharma, Milo.

Probably too advanced for you. My old roommate taught me, though. You make your own suffering, in your mind.

[jurisimpudent]

I don't go in for mystical foolishness like that.

[amethysts]

Neither do I. But it's true. You let these things get to you. How do you even function at your job?

[jurisimpudent]

Do not dare to attack my job performance. You don't know anything of it, and you've never seen me in action. If you had, you'd know.

[amethysts]

Oh, I can imagine, if you use these interrogating tactics. Have you ever won a difficult case?

[jurisimpudent]

[Skiiirting around that question.]

You're aware that this isn't an interrogation, correct?

[amethysts]

[That's what she thought.]

That's the problem. You never turn off.

[jurisimpudent]

Of course I do. Did I not just say that it was not an interrogation?

[amethysts]

You can't laugh. Not really.

[Even now, she's trying to teach you something. Fucking listen--is this how Nikolai feels? No wonder he's so pissed all the time.]

You can't laugh and it's going to get you, eventually.

[jurisimpudent]

Oh? Am I going to be murdered by an offended comedian? A slighted clown?

[amethysts]

No. You're going to kill yourself. In the ways that matter.

You're a good person and you want to kill that, act like you aren't. But I'm not your therapist.

[jurisimpudent]

First, no, you are not. Second, I am not a good person, and the assertion that I am is foolish. And third, goodness is not measured in how much you laugh. Frequently the inverse, in point of fact.

[amethysts]

Please. Try that on an infant before testing it on adults, kiddo.