002 ☠ video/text

[kringlefuck]

_{[ There's a bit of shuffling around. He hadn't done a video post to the network yet, so let's see here. Pushing some buttons a messing around a little until he pulls his communicator back. He's in his quarters. ]}
Haa-haaa! By Jove, I think I've got this! Ah, sweet Jesus christmas, this thing is already streaming? To the entire network? Aw, god!

_{[ A bit frantic, he runs a hand through his hair a little before clearing his throat. He's got a peculiar accent, sounding more Australian than anything. ]}
Right. Erm, yes. Aloha to my dearest victims aboard this spacecraft! This is Jake English speaking. Perhaps there is the off chance that you and I have exchanged text messages one another. I am the bearer of the rather ridiculously green text that has just recently been witnessed amongst those in the network. Those who have had the fortune to say a howdy-doo to me and possible engage in interactions with me, we meet again and here I am in the flesh and bones!
Dapper as hell, am I correct? Ha haha. Naw, I'm joshing.

A bit.

And those you haven't, I greet you with the utmost pleasure and I dare say, it would be certainly an enlightening experience to get to know the lot of you even more. In any case, what brings me to this network stream so close to whence I first arrived is the fact that I am in dire need of some supplies. I'm not readily prepared as I am comfortable with, carrying merely two loaded pistols: Beretta M9s. And true enough there are those who "have my back" so to say, there are just some things I feel naked without.  
The things I need are very, very important to my being and I would be much obliged if there any sort of freaking way I could knick, borrow or somehow even have for keepsake the items listed here. If you have any of these things and wouldn't mind parting with them, I would fucking love you. Uh.

_{[ He wipes off his brow with his thumb, ducking his head a little. ]}
My deepest apologies if that sounded out of line or a bit forward and excuse me if this comes off as a botheration to anybody who is listening, but the generosity of others would be extraordinary appreciated.
Considering the amount of different characters we have here, I'm going to list things that are likely improbable, but it is worth a friggen' shot.

 

A leg holster capable of holding my type of gun.
Bonus points if there are *two* and resemble that use in the lara croft tomb raider movie.
Any sort of movie from earth especially action packed movies,
that possibly have blue tinted women in it.
A pair of shorts that rise yea high approximately six inches above the knee,
And fit that of a near sixteen year old male.
Explosives.
A computer.
Combat boots in a size 10 mens.
A t shirt.
Brass knuckles.
A swiss army knife.
A handkerchief *ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT.*

I'm not sure how I could repay the debt for any of these things should it occur that anybody happens to have these items, but I'll do anything to get them. As alarming as some of these items may seem, I assure you it for nothing more than to calm my nerves and be used for self defense and security.
Get back to me and give me a holler. 008, 092!

[/ end feed. ]

Comments

[fencesitter]

Yeah, sorry we can't all fall into this place bursting with a sense of adventure. Whatever. I found out that there's an alien, or maybe a race of aliens, that thinks they created humans. I don't know if I should be more worried for their sanity, or if they're right. I think space madness is still a thing people can contract.

[kringlefuck]

Are you referring to the gray horned lot that seem to be bothering me lately? I've seen several of them so far.. I can count three!

[fencesitter]

They're grey and they have horns? And there's more of them. Awesome. The only one I typed at just talked like they had a serious speech impediment. Parentheses and shit like that.

[kringlefuck]

Oh, I remember talking to her over the texting feature. She was certainly nice and said she was from a blood line of royalty. I still don't quite understand their species or anything, but I say it's terribly interesting.

I remember another had their w key stuck it seemed.
But I haven't seen sign of the really attractive one I saw when I got bonked on the head and saw her in a vision.

[fencesitter]

You had a vision about one of them and it made you want to date her. Hah. Great. Is there anyone here who doesn't see the future? Just once I want to meet someone around here who doesn't know what's going to happen.