ataraxion | 002 ☠ video/text

_{[ There's a bit of shuffling around. He hadn't done a video post to the network yet, so let's see here. Pushing some buttons a messing around a little until he pulls his communicator back. He's in his quarters. ]}
Haa-haaa! By Jove, I think I've got this! Ah, sweet Jesus christmas, this thing is already streaming? To the entire network? Aw, god!

_{[ A bit frantic, he runs a hand through his hair a little before clearing his throat. He's got a peculiar accent, sounding more Australian than anything. ]}
Right. Erm, yes. Aloha to my dearest victims aboard this spacecraft! This is Jake English speaking. Perhaps there is the off chance that you and I have exchanged text messages one another. I am the bearer of the rather ridiculously green text that has just recently been witnessed amongst those in the network. Those who have had the fortune to say a howdy-doo to me and possible engage in interactions with me, we meet again and here I am in the flesh and bones!
Dapper as hell, am I correct? Ha haha. Naw, I'm joshing.

A bit.

And those you haven't, I greet you with the utmost pleasure and I dare say, it would be certainly an enlightening experience to get to know the lot of you even more. In any case, what brings me to this network stream so close to whence I first arrived is the fact that I am in dire need of some supplies. I'm not readily prepared as I am comfortable with, carrying merely two loaded pistols: Beretta M9s. And true enough there are those who "have my back" so to say, there are just some things I feel naked without.
The things I need are very, very important to my being and I would be much obliged if there any sort of freaking way I could knick, borrow or somehow even have for keepsake the items listed here. If you have any of these things and wouldn't mind parting with them, I would fucking love you. Uh.

_{[ He wipes off his brow with his thumb, ducking his head a little. ]}
My deepest apologies if that sounded out of line or a bit forward and excuse me if this comes off as a botheration to anybody who is listening, but the generosity of others would be extraordinary appreciated.
Considering the amount of different characters we have here, I'm going to list things that are likely improbable, but it is worth a friggen' shot.

A leg holster capable of holding my type of gun.
Bonus points if there are *two* and resemble that use in the lara croft tomb raider movie.
Any sort of movie from earth especially action packed movies,
that possibly have blue tinted women in it.
A pair of shorts that rise yea high approximately six inches above the knee,
And fit that of a near sixteen year old male.
Explosives.
A computer.
Combat boots in a size 10 mens.
A t shirt.
Brass knuckles.
A swiss army knife.
A handkerchief *ESPECIALLY IMPORTANT.*

I'm not sure how I could repay the debt for any of these things should it occur that anybody happens to have these items, but I'll do anything to get them. As alarming as some of these items may seem, I assure you it for nothing more than to calm my nerves and be used for self defense and security.
Get back to me and give me a holler. 008, 092!

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

_{[ --Jake sort of squints his eyes at Eridan because hoooo-- this is different than the spider troll he got to see. ]}

Holy shitknickers. You resemble that bodacious blue girl that I saw before I arrived here. I mean, I sort of believed you when we exchanged conversation over texting but I had my doubts! Never your mind!
Only you look a tad different! Those odd appendages on your face; cripes, what an interesting specimen. Does it hurt if people pull on them??

It's worth a shot, isn't it? I'll suffice for a mere hanky and a pair of shorts, really. Any sort of holster would do considering I can't just simple carry both my guns out in the open.

And you don't understand! Sure, something like that may make do temporarily but not permanently!

[........]

If you try to pull on my fuckin' fins, I'll end you. Does that answwer your fuckin' question? An' a'course I look different from your freaky crush. I'm a completely different blood color. An' wwho fuckin' cares if you havve a handkerchief, those are so fuckin' passe anywway. You're better off wwithout that shit.

Woah. They must be really sensitive then, ole chap! How frightfully interesting.
She's not freaky! She's beautiful; you're probably just jealous she's astounding and probably attracts more potential mates than you do during your going up stream or whatever the deuce it is your kind does.

It's important I get an actual handkerchief. I will settle for nothing less!!

Howw frightfully fuckin' uninterestin', don't evven think about it any more. An' shut the fuck up about shit you don't knoww about, wwhy wwould you evven talk about that?

All a handkerchief is is a piece'a fabric, an' they're fuckin' unsanitary to boot. There's no point to use 'em.

Says you! I doubt you have the precipitation glands that fly off the handlebars like mine do, being a weird fishy alien thing!
And good god, did your mother ever try and teach you any manners, talking like that??

Yeah, alright, granted, I don't know jack shit baout your species but surely you all must reproduce somehow!!

Ugh.

[HEAVY EYEROLLS FOR JAKE. wow jake. just wow.] Trolls don't havve parents like humans do, wwe havve lusii, an' wwe definitely don't kiss 'em, wwhat is wwrong wwith you?

I don't exactly follow, but alright.
Do you mind telling me why the girl I saw that resembled you look like a spider chick and also appeared as if she was dead in the eyes?

I also have another question considering your kind.
You're not going to lay eggs in anybody's stomach or take over the world like in the sci-fi flicks, right? I just really need affirmation considering this.

She wwas probably a different bloodcolor or somethin', wwho knowws. Also she wwas probably dead.

--An' no, wwhat the fuck, nobody is doin' anythin' like that. Wwhat the fuck, man?

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