002 | audio

[suddenlycaptain]

[ Carolyn hasn't been here for long but she's been here long enough to notice things, and one of the things she's noticed is that most of these people have no real idea of how dangerous space can be. Some of them, sure -- Riddick, of course. Ellen, Kara, Clarke, Kirk and his crew -- but there are others who've never been in space before, even people who come from a place where it isn't possible yet. Fry doesn't want these people to die because of a stupid mistake, and she doesn't want a stupid mistake to be what kills all of them out here, either. ]

There are a lot of people here who haven't been in space before. I'm going to give you all some advice -- and honestly, if you know someone who's been in space, who knows spaceships, listen to them about this sort of thing. I know weird shit happens on this ship, but that smiley face isn't the only hazard out here.

I'm going to give you all a list of some of the dangers in space -- verbally, as there have been complaints [ you're welcome, Ros ] but I can give you a text version, too. If you have questions, feel free to ask, though I'm not a doctor or a physicist or an engineer and you might be better off asking one of them about some of these. And before anyone says it, I'm not trying to cause mass panic here -- but these are things you need to know, things everyone needs to keep in mind so nothing stupid and lethal happens.

- Disease/other health concerns. A lot of you just experienced this, and judging by what I've seen on the network, I'm sure Dr. McCoy will be happy to help educate you all on a variety of them. There are a lot of health concerns, from alien diseases to Earth viruses that spread easily in close quarters like this. We should all hope the artificial gravity doesn't go out anytime soon either, because being in 0g harms bone density. It also makes you more likely to have kidney stones. Space is also filled with radiation, and unless you're magically immune to it, high exposure is going to lead to health problems as well. Be smart. Wear protective gear, use a condom, wash your hands.

- Equipment malfunctions. We're already suffering a lot of those. With communications out, we can't call for help. With two working shuttles, we can't all get out of here if we need to -- if you're a mechanic or a pilot and you haven't been helping out with the shuttles, get on that. Life support is called that for a reason; if that goes down, we're all pretty much fucked. A breach in the hull, a loose seal, a lot of shit could lead to all the oxygen in the ship being sucked out into space and then we're all suffocating. Don't shoot the fucking side of the ship. Take up Judo if you have to, Alice is offering to teach. Same with high temperatures and electricity, apparently; keep that away from the sensitive equipment and pretty much everything else.

- Debris and other objects. I don't know how this system is with putting shit into space but they had real problems back on Earth, a couple thousand years ago. Hunks of satellites, bits of spaceships -- the speed at which they can move through space is enough for a chip of paint to put a small crater in something. Dust from meteors can accumulate into clouds that can rip the insulation off and knock ships off-course. Let's hope whoever is flying this thing looks out for the big ones, at least, and let's hope it's got some decent shields to protect against flying space dust.

- Extreme temperatures. You're not going to freeze to death automatically, you'll probably suffocate first, but don't get stuck outside. Even if you have a spacesuit, a problem in either the insulation or the cooling -- because those things are hot inside -- could kill you.

- Electricity. Solar storms can fry equipment. Space is dry, too; there's more of a chance of static electricity and a lot of it. Apparently we've got people around here who can control the weather, too, so do us all a favor and don't fry anything.

- "Moondust". Not likely to be a problem unless someone goes walking around outside, but they say the dust from Earth's moon is thick and hazardous enough to kill you. It's the same sort of symptoms you get in miners, if that helps anyone. I've never been to Earth or its moon but there are plenty of planets and other moons that are the same way. If you go out in that spacesuit, wipe your feet so you don't get dust in all of our lungs.

- Fuel shortage. You don't actually need fuel to go once you've started going. You need it to speed up, slow down, and you need it to stop. We run out of fuel, we'll keep going until we run into something.

- Other supply shortages. I'm guessing no one wants to starve to death.

- Hostile sentient beings. Whether it's governments, pirates, mercs, or slavers, we're not the only ship out in the black. A ship like this is huge, probably not something most people would want to mess with, but we're also crippled. They look too closely, realize our comms are out, someone might try something. This especially includes cults, since they typically can't even be reasoned with.

- Other hostile lifeforms. Creatures, big or small. There have already been some science experiments -- and for fuck's sake, nobody try and recreate any sort of shit like that -- but I'm talking natural animals. There are all sorts of creatures in space -- some of them harmless, some of them extremely dangerous. Parasites, predators, prey, and things that are just damn annoying -- we're not likely to bump into any just floating in the black, but we could pick something up at a station or on a planet.

- Hostile environments. Not every planet's going to be like wherever you came from. Some have more or less oxygen, more or less gravity. Some are deserts, others have suns so intense you will die if you stay outside during the day. Do your research, if at all possible.

- Black holes. Not the little ones that shouldn't exist but do, in that maze, though don't go near those either. Big ones that'll suck us in if we get too close. You can see how that might be a problem.

- Exploding stars. Pretty self-explanatory. Stars that explode.

- Drugs. I don't care about the people smoking in the oxygen garden but if people start lifting medical supplies to get high, then we're going to have problems. Medical, keep an eye on your morphine. The rest of you, don't steal drugs to get high. If you're having withdrawals, go talk to a doctor. That's why we have them.

It's been eight months without the ship imploding on itself. Let's keep these in mind and not do something stupid to change that. I don't care if you're a psychotic mass murderer who thinks it'd be fun; you do one of these and you're probably going to end up dead, too.

Comments

voice;

[goldshirt]

I feel like you and Bones should have a pow wow.

[because this is really, really, helpful but it also screams paranoia to Kirk; probably just from the tone of her speech through the whole thing. he's seen cadets with more tact.]

voice;

[suddenlycaptain]

I'm sure it would be very educational.

[ Fry would rather tell it like it is to a bunch of people who don't know the first thing about space. Scare them a little and maybe they'll stay alive. The universe she's from is rough, and the day she had before she arrived here was supposed to be her last. ]

Though I don't think I need to know the specifics of most of the diseases out here.

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

[...Thanks, Captain. He's just going to...not...sit there thinking about all of this for a really long time now.]

There are rather few of those we can do anything about.

[voice]

[suddenlycaptain]

[ No problem. ]

But there are ones we can do things about, and ones we can look out for.

[audio]

[galacticheroine]

Unless of course, they're the kind of mass murderer who is okay with dying for the cause.

[As helpful as this is lady, Shepard knows listing all the things people should be paranoid about is the fastest way to chaos.]

[audio]

[suddenlycaptain]

If they are, I don't know what they've been waiting for.

[ Such optimism. ]

voice;

[sugarbear]

This is an answer to the question 'name one thing worse than flying'--isn't it?

voice;

[suddenlycaptain]

[ It takes her a moment -- for her it is flying. ]

Is flying all that bad?

[nukeit]

[ Hey, look, it's a good list of things to keep in mind!

If Ripley finds herself smiling and shaking her head, because yes, it's all true -- but that's one way of getting people into the wrong kind of scared. Is it better or worse than corralling them all up in person? ]

Mark to shortages on life support systems. If we're bringing those up at all, recognizing signs or how to keep warm or cool outside of a suit's worth mentioning. That, and how to check a suit for leaks, if we have any around here for people to be getting in and out of on their own.

[ These are less the giant details and more the small controllable ones. ]

Well and good pointing everything out. Think we'll get a second list for training in the things we can do?

[ Small pointed statement -- don't scare folks without giving them something to hold on to. ]

[suddenlycaptain]

I'm still looking into them. It'll differ depending on the suit; I'd rather not tell people you can do it one way only to discover it's completely different. They're not my strongest area, though.

[ Still, Ripley's point is made, and though it's still audio, Fry nods slightly. She's never been shy about listening to the opinions of others, especially considering how reluctantly she'd been shoved into the leadership roll. ]

Think I can manage that. Opinions on what to add? [ And now there's a little bit of humor in her voice. ] Since you'll be helping on training day.

text.

[ironsights]

Thank you for the information.

Does being in space have any effect on the healing time of injuries, or the ballistics of conventional firearms?

text.

[suddenlycaptain]

You're welcome. Some of us are going to set up some training for what we can actively work to prevent. Feel free to come.

As far as I know, it shouldn't, not if the life support and anti-gravity are set to a normal level and you continue your normal routine. Get plenty of fluids, etc. On other planets, it's more likely to vary. I think the fluid in the grav couches and the nanites may be involved in some way with accelerated healing but like I said, I'm not a doctor.

[agent_k]

[He has a slight smile in his voice. If you pretend. It's there, you just have to look for it, I promise.]

I hope people listen to you.

[suddenlycaptain]

[ She knows plenty of people like that. It helps. ]

So do I. Ripley and I will be setting up training sessions for people who have no idea what they're doing, so they're not going to have much excuse for not listening.

[video]

[birdhousesoul]

[Anders pays close attention to this, oh yes. Carver -- Carver, of all people -- has given him the basic idea, that they're on a ship floating in the Void among stars, but coming from Carver, who'd believe it? This exhaustive list of perils is more convincing.

It is also extremely unsettling.]

Thanks for this. I don't suppose there's anything out here that isn't likely to kill us in some horrific way sooner or later?

The dust-in-the-lungs problem, I might be able to do something about. If it happens. Sounds a bit like chokedamp.

[video]

[suddenlycaptain]

[ Fry switches to video to match, understanding that it might help a little. People like to see things, and she's aware that the fact that most people can't see anything other than the inside of the ship makes accepting that they are, in fact, in space much more difficult. She can't do much about that, but she can do this. ]

I won't. [ Which isn't entirely reassuring, but... it's pretty much all she has. ] And we're going to be training people in how to deal with what we can deal with, getting them adjusted to living in space, if you'd be interested.

Chokedamp?

[Voice]

[howdoishot]

[ All of that is kind of terrible, even if he knew some already.

But: ] There are cults in space?

[Voice]

[suddenlycaptain]

[ Fry is kind of bad at optimism. ]

There are where I'm from.

voice;

[oyster]

[ Alice was originally going to say thanks for the shout out but after listening to all of that? There's more important things to say.

Unfortunately, she can't really think of anything. ] How do you know all of this?

voice;

[suddenlycaptain]

I'm a pilot and captain my own spaceship. The Hunter Gratzner -- she's a merchant vessel.

Spacetravel is very common, where I'm from.

voice; one wizard reporting for space training

[pizzalord]

So I can call myself a space wizard now. Good to know.

voice; awwww yis

[suddenlycaptain]

[ Wizard. Another one. Right. Okay then. ]

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But I might have some good news to go with it.

Voice

[doismelllikeroses]

So you finally did it, huh?

Voice

[suddenlycaptain]

[ There's a bit of a smile in her voice. ] I did. Sorry it's not too pretty.

We'll be setting up training, too, if you're interested.

[counselling]

Adjustment to space travel - psychologically - is another concern.

[suddenlycaptain]

Absolutely. Do you have experience in that sort of thing?