angerissues: © iconographics (❛ and thought his timeless soul had gone)
MASON lockwood. ([personal profile] angerissues) wrote in [community profile] ataraxion2012-06-04 09:55 am

002 → video

[ Mason has spent a very, very, very long time debating whether or not he really wants to do this (short answer: he doesn't). He's spent pretty much every day since the attack beating himself up for it and trying to talk himself into actually doing this because it's pretty much the exact opposite of how he's lived his life up until now. He also wants to make all of this right, even if it's been a month or so since the attack. Unfortunately, he's pretty sure there's no way to do that, and not speaking up only to be found out later will do him more harm than good.

If it were just him, Mason probably wouldn't speak up. He'd find more chains, find an even emptier place to tie himself up, drink more of his supply of Wolfsbane until he felt like his stomach was literally tearing in two instead of just trying to tear itself in two. But Tyler's here now and, on top of that, Mason's actually somewhat worried that people will blame Remus. Eventually, anyways, if they haven't started yet.

So when the feed comes on, Mason's sitting in his room, looking more pensive than anything. He's not entirely sure how to say this, not without it starting some kind of commotion, but he's hoping everyone will be focused enough on other things that they won't think too much of this. Or, at the very least, that they won't freak out as much considering Remus confessed to being a werewolf and Jenna confessed to being a vampire. He's not holding his breath, though. ]


I should've said this a hell of a lot sooner, I know, but I figured it'd be better now than never. [ He runs a hand over his mouth before continuing. Just say it. ] I'm a werewolf. [ Can you all see how weird it is for him to actually be saying this? The only person he's ever confessed to is Tyler (Katherine doesn't count since she was there when he triggered the curse, nor does his pack from back home since they knew it without even asking him) so actually saying it out loud when so many people can hear him... ] Usually, when I change, I'm able to chain myself up somewhere. I've been doing it for years now to make sure that no one gets hurt, which whatever brought us here seems to know because they decided to give me my supplies from back home when I first got here.

The reason I do it is because I have no control over what I do or who I do it to when I'm changed. Hell, I can barely even understand English. [ Also not entirely true: if it comes down to it, Mason will do whatever he possibly can to stay alive. Generally, though, he fights vampires, not humans. ] If I had any sort of control, things would be a lot different. [ Read: he never would've attacked Tommy. ] Sometimes, though, I don't have enough time and I end up getting loose, which is what happened last month. [ He's not going to explain why he didn't have enough time up here because admitting to not knowing his cycles well enough makes him too vulnerable. ] None of what happened was intentional and whether you want to believe me or not, I never wanted to hurt anyone and I still don't. I'd even say I wish I could take it back but since that's impossible, wishing for it seems pretty pointless. [ The wolf did but he - Mason Lockwood, the human - didn't want to. Not without a reason. ]

[ He pauses for a moment, eyes drifting away from the comm. If he's being honest, Mason feels like he's dreaming all of this, like it's not really happening. Then he lets out a breath he didn't realized he'd been holding and glances towards the comm again. ] From here on out, I'll be doing anything and everything else I can think of to keep any possible attacks from happening again, I just figured I'd let everyone know that the monster on board - at least this one - is only a monster one night a month. [ That part is supposed to be humorous, though he doesn't really expect it to be. So he ends the feed pretty quickly after he says that. ]
unruly: (unimpressed)

not here :c

[personal profile] unruly 2012-06-04 04:01 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Revelations. Dean's really starting to hate them. He's not actually going to say anything (especially nothing quite as bad as he said to Jenna), but make no mistake; Mason just made it on to Dean's watchlist. ]
rebelled: (.o10)

audio;

[personal profile] rebelled 2012-06-04 04:05 pm (UTC)(link)
You didn't have to do this.
northerner: (i have a direwolf and you don't.)

video;

[personal profile] northerner 2012-06-04 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[ king in the north, scrunching atchu mason. ]

You're a skinchanger as well? And you were the beast responsible for those injuries?
puppydogeyes: (ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ | ᴀɴᴛᴇʙᴇʟʟᴜᴍ ʙᴜʟʟᴅᴏɢ)

text;

[personal profile] puppydogeyes 2012-06-04 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Should have been trying that anything and everything before you hurt anyone.
rebelled: (.o12)

audio;

[personal profile] rebelled 2012-06-04 04:18 pm (UTC)(link)
Your safety, perhaps?

[He huffs. No, he isn't happy about this. Not when Mason's gone and made his job ten times more difficult now. But at the same time, he's actually a little impressed that he's willing to risk his own safety with there only being a slight possibility of protecting others by doing it.]

If you needed to be restrained, it could have been organized. Instead you've painted yourself a target to those who consider your kind a threat.
puppydogeyes: (ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ | ᴀʟᴘɪɴᴇ sᴘᴀɴɪᴇʟ)

text;

[personal profile] puppydogeyes 2012-06-04 04:23 pm (UTC)(link)
If you'd told people before then you could have had help with the chaining up.
puppydogeyes: (ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ | ᴀᴍᴇʀɪᴄᴀɴ ᴀᴋɪᴛᴀ)

text;

[personal profile] puppydogeyes 2012-06-04 04:34 pm (UTC)(link)
[She is angry. Really angry. But she's also just been through her own thing of unintentionally hurting Tommy, and her own thoughts on how to make it better were very similar to what Mason's saying.

It's a good few minutes before she replies.]


You didn't change him.
If you wanted to know.
puppydogeyes: (ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ | ᴀʟᴀsᴋᴀɴ ᴋʟᴇᴇ ᴋᴀɪ)

text;

[personal profile] puppydogeyes 2012-06-04 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Would have been good to know that, too.
Silver's hard to find.
rebelled: (soldier)

audio; locked

[personal profile] rebelled 2012-06-04 04:51 pm (UTC)(link)
And what sort of "blame" are you prepared for? Non-humans may be less prone to being attacked here, but given your accident last month, you may still be targeted.

[Reiterating the point may not make much of a difference, but he's frustrated by this message having ever been sent. Things keep getting increasingly more complicated the longer they're on this ship.]

You only change for a single night, correct?
northerner: (we speak of duty.)

video;

[personal profile] northerner 2012-06-04 05:42 pm (UTC)(link)
What reason should we have for trusting you to prevent such a thing from happening again?
walksonrooftops: (desolate)

Video

[personal profile] walksonrooftops 2012-06-04 06:00 pm (UTC)(link)
You're really brave to say this.

[It's courage Asato doesn't have. He's been hiding, and here Mason is, coming out and telling everyone what happened, why it happened, and what he intends to do about it. He doesn't even need to know what a "werewolf" is to understand the sentiment behind this message.]

When you say you never wanted to hurt people. I believe you, you know. Is that what the plants were for?
walksonrooftops: (hesitating)

Video

[personal profile] walksonrooftops 2012-06-04 06:26 pm (UTC)(link)
Then I'm glad I could help you.

[Considering what happened when the fear gas struck, Asato would be mad not to back Mason on this. He knows what it feels like. It's awful and frightening to him, and he wonders if Mason feels the same way. Even so, it isn't something he wants to just strike up a discussion about, since it's not exactly a pleasant topic.]

If people want to--want to hurt you for that, or something, then I'll help you too. It's not something you can help, right? So that's why.
rebelled: (balance)

audio; locked

[personal profile] rebelled 2012-06-04 06:35 pm (UTC)(link)
No, it won't.

[Quite what he means by that, he doesn't explain. But while Mason is included within the circle of people he has a duty to watch over now, he refuses to simply step back and let whatever happens happen.]

How many days is it until your next change?

[It's the part he needs to focus on now. To make sure that things don't go wrong again and Mason doesn't become any more of a target than he already has.]
walksonrooftops: (rejected)

Video

[personal profile] walksonrooftops 2012-06-04 06:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Mmn. [He gives Mason a small smile in an attempt to be reassuring. Putting himself out there for the people he cares about is just what he does, to the point that one might begin to wonder if he's concerned about his own well-being at all.]

I'm not sure. But there's got to be people who understand. If we're all on this ship together, then we can't just leave people behind.

[Then, a little more quietly,]

It must be difficult. I'm sorry.

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