MASON lockwood. (
angerissues) wrote in
ataraxion2012-06-04 09:55 am
002 → video
[ Mason has spent a very, very, very long time debating whether or not he really wants to do this (short answer: he doesn't). He's spent pretty much every day since the attack beating himself up for it and trying to talk himself into actually doing this because it's pretty much the exact opposite of how he's lived his life up until now. He also wants to make all of this right, even if it's been a month or so since the attack. Unfortunately, he's pretty sure there's no way to do that, and not speaking up only to be found out later will do him more harm than good.
If it were just him, Mason probably wouldn't speak up. He'd find more chains, find an even emptier place to tie himself up, drink more of his supply of Wolfsbane until he felt like his stomach was literally tearing in two instead of just trying to tear itself in two. But Tyler's here now and, on top of that, Mason's actually somewhat worried that people will blame Remus. Eventually, anyways, if they haven't started yet.
So when the feed comes on, Mason's sitting in his room, looking more pensive than anything. He's not entirely sure how to say this, not without it starting some kind of commotion, but he's hoping everyone will be focused enough on other things that they won't think too much of this. Or, at the very least, that they won't freak out as much considering Remus confessed to being a werewolf and Jenna confessed to being a vampire. He's not holding his breath, though. ]
I should've said this a hell of a lot sooner, I know, but I figured it'd be better now than never. [ He runs a hand over his mouth before continuing. Just say it. ] I'm a werewolf. [ Can you all see how weird it is for him to actually be saying this? The only person he's ever confessed to is Tyler (Katherine doesn't count since she was there when he triggered the curse, nor does his pack from back home since they knew it without even asking him) so actually saying it out loud when so many people can hear him... ] Usually, when I change, I'm able to chain myself up somewhere. I've been doing it for years now to make sure that no one gets hurt, which whatever brought us here seems to know because they decided to give me my supplies from back home when I first got here.
The reason I do it is because I have no control over what I do or who I do it to when I'm changed. Hell, I can barely even understand English. [ Also not entirely true: if it comes down to it, Mason will do whatever he possibly can to stay alive. Generally, though, he fights vampires, not humans. ] If I had any sort of control, things would be a lot different. [ Read: he never would've attacked Tommy. ] Sometimes, though, I don't have enough time and I end up getting loose, which is what happened last month. [ He's not going to explain why he didn't have enough time up here because admitting to not knowing his cycles well enough makes him too vulnerable. ] None of what happened was intentional and whether you want to believe me or not, I never wanted to hurt anyone and I still don't. I'd even say I wish I could take it back but since that's impossible, wishing for it seems pretty pointless. [ The wolf did but he - Mason Lockwood, the human - didn't want to. Not without a reason. ]
[ He pauses for a moment, eyes drifting away from the comm. If he's being honest, Mason feels like he's dreaming all of this, like it's not really happening. Then he lets out a breath he didn't realized he'd been holding and glances towards the comm again. ] From here on out, I'll be doing anything and everything else I can think of to keep any possible attacks from happening again, I just figured I'd let everyone know that the monster on board - at least this one - is only a monster one night a month. [ That part is supposed to be humorous, though he doesn't really expect it to be. So he ends the feed pretty quickly after he says that. ]
If it were just him, Mason probably wouldn't speak up. He'd find more chains, find an even emptier place to tie himself up, drink more of his supply of Wolfsbane until he felt like his stomach was literally tearing in two instead of just trying to tear itself in two. But Tyler's here now and, on top of that, Mason's actually somewhat worried that people will blame Remus. Eventually, anyways, if they haven't started yet.
So when the feed comes on, Mason's sitting in his room, looking more pensive than anything. He's not entirely sure how to say this, not without it starting some kind of commotion, but he's hoping everyone will be focused enough on other things that they won't think too much of this. Or, at the very least, that they won't freak out as much considering Remus confessed to being a werewolf and Jenna confessed to being a vampire. He's not holding his breath, though. ]
I should've said this a hell of a lot sooner, I know, but I figured it'd be better now than never. [ He runs a hand over his mouth before continuing. Just say it. ] I'm a werewolf. [ Can you all see how weird it is for him to actually be saying this? The only person he's ever confessed to is Tyler (Katherine doesn't count since she was there when he triggered the curse, nor does his pack from back home since they knew it without even asking him) so actually saying it out loud when so many people can hear him... ] Usually, when I change, I'm able to chain myself up somewhere. I've been doing it for years now to make sure that no one gets hurt, which whatever brought us here seems to know because they decided to give me my supplies from back home when I first got here.
The reason I do it is because I have no control over what I do or who I do it to when I'm changed. Hell, I can barely even understand English. [ Also not entirely true: if it comes down to it, Mason will do whatever he possibly can to stay alive. Generally, though, he fights vampires, not humans. ] If I had any sort of control, things would be a lot different. [ Read: he never would've attacked Tommy. ] Sometimes, though, I don't have enough time and I end up getting loose, which is what happened last month. [ He's not going to explain why he didn't have enough time up here because admitting to not knowing his cycles well enough makes him too vulnerable. ] None of what happened was intentional and whether you want to believe me or not, I never wanted to hurt anyone and I still don't. I'd even say I wish I could take it back but since that's impossible, wishing for it seems pretty pointless. [ The wolf did but he - Mason Lockwood, the human - didn't want to. Not without a reason. ]
[ He pauses for a moment, eyes drifting away from the comm. If he's being honest, Mason feels like he's dreaming all of this, like it's not really happening. Then he lets out a breath he didn't realized he'd been holding and glances towards the comm again. ] From here on out, I'll be doing anything and everything else I can think of to keep any possible attacks from happening again, I just figured I'd let everyone know that the monster on board - at least this one - is only a monster one night a month. [ That part is supposed to be humorous, though he doesn't really expect it to be. So he ends the feed pretty quickly after he says that. ]

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