ataraxion | 003 † [VIDEO]

[Kenzi, right? Have a somewhat puzzled Sam.]

Uh... everything okay?

[Oh my god she didn't scare him off the first time!]

Yes. Fine. Everything is fine and dandy and will be made even more fine with PIE! I'll totally save you some if this is a real thing.

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You better share if you find this magical pie person.

Dude, you know I will. It's like some beautiful myth right now, I'm psyched.

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Weirdest name for a mobster ever.

Probably a better choice than Johnny the Rat. Mobsters have weird names, Topher, it happens! Just... don't ever say that to their faces.

[Worst old-mob-movie-voice EVER] You'll get WASTED, see?

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oh my god, sorry I'm so late

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I WILL WAIT FOREVER. Like Fry's dog.

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/sobs into hands <3

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[This face.]

Never...heard of him.

... Thanks... for the input?

[Useless mask guy.] Hey, are you related to Zorro?

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[WHAT ARE YOU DOING??????????]

Ah... huh, that's me and I'm not a mobster. Baker's oath.

[RUINING YOUR LIFE!]

BAKER? You seriously make pies? Can you make them here? Have there been pie parties I wasn't invited to?!

I'm Kenzi, please be my friend! As a friendship token, you can make me pie.

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Are you drunk? Is this you drunk again?

Because they archive these things, you know. I saw that.

not yet. gimme about half an hour and i will text the hell out of you.

this is NORMAL KENZIOSITY, baby. get used to it <333

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[ no idea who this pie person is ]

That seems a rather odd moniker for a mobster to be going by, no? Not really a name that strikes fear into one's bones.

Hence the irony. Or so the theory goes. Turns out he's not actually in the mob. [She shrugs] go figure!

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If it's the former and you get ahold of him, I could go for some pie.

Yes! Holy crap, I should start a pie fanclub.

Quick, your name and fave kind of pie. Go!

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And suddenly I'm really hungry.

I seem to have that effect on people... You tend to not notice being hungry when you're in a constant state of eating everything. You should try it.

... Wait, don't. It'll mess up your hot bod!

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[ you're a strange one, tiny fellow russian. ]

And if it's the former?

Delicious baked goods get shoved into my face. I already have to share with like... a billion people but I can totally save you some.

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AUDIO; sooo late

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AUDIO; EVEN LATER but i love tiny russians so much

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Do you usually get this frantic over pies?

Usually? [Be honest, Kenzi.] ... Yes. Yes I do. You should see me if there's pizza involved.

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I hear that he makes all manner of pies. Any sort. How's that for exciting, eh?

That's pretty freakin' exciting, unless you're totally patronizing me, in which case it is NOT exciting and you're a jerk.

... But if you're actually being genuine, YES! IT'S SERIOUSLY EXCITING!

It was a false alarm anyway. You can't be too careful, though. Mobsters do like their ironic names...

video; sorry, i was on vacation for a while /)_(\

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Since when does junk food classify as urgent?

Since always. And it's not just urgent, it's super FREAKIN' urgent. Pie is serious shit.

Yeah, not gonna lie, I'm a little disappointed. But real pie is better than organized crime.

I have a strange passion for baked goods?

[This guy talks like Shakespeare...]

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