ataraxion | ( 2 ; PSA.)

Y'know, since we survived not murdering one another for being clingy (I mean you, Wrench Guy) and escaping the clutches of the Empire, I figure that I should hand out some handy advice:

1.) The ship is going to try and kill you.

2.) Don't try to rewire the roombas to make them go faster, they just freak out and go in circles.

3.) The shuttles in the shuttle bay are terrible and you can't honestly work in those conditions. Whoever did the wiring on the fuel cells to them wasn't even trying. The engine, if you can even call it that, is an absolute joke. It's like they don't want us to escape or something.

4.) Keep your eyes on your own property in the showers.

5.) Then, there's this guy. He goes by Ben or Obi-Wan or whatever ridiculous names that Jedi choose for themselves. This is what is going to happen: he is going to come to you when you make port on the worst possible planet you can imagine (Tatooine: don't go, don't stay), in a hive of the worst people you can possibly imagine and he's going to offer you a job. You will take that job, you will think it is amazing money for very little work. Here's the thing about Obi-Wan, he's going to get you in trouble. He's going to get you caught in a tractor beam and you're going to be stuck in enemy territory that's probably the size of a small moon. And the best part about it? You're not going to get paid. So, in summary: if Obi-Wan Kenobi comes to you and offers you a job, no matter if it's rescuing a Princess, doing his laundry or overall a favor: listen to the bad feeling in your gut, and say no.

Trust me, you'll thank me later.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Here you go Han, have Kaylee's smiling face on your feed.]

Wiring's shot in most of the shuttles. I could probably try to fix some of 'em with new copper filaments but we haven't stopped to pick up supplies the whole time I've been here.

And what with the fuel shortage, no one's gettin' off this ship 'cept those that vanish.

Anyway, Ben seems like a nice fella! You sure we're talkin' about the same guy?

Oh, that's just great. We could redo all of them if we just took apart one of the shuttles and use it as one for spares. Get in there, even try to put in a hyperdrive, we could make it more than 1 parsec out there.

Yeah, I'm thinking of the same guy.

Not sure the engines're capable of pullin' that kind of energy, even if we scrapped one of the other shuttles for extra parts. It'd been equipment I don't have here.

Still gotta take on supplies eventually.

We'll just have to make it work now, won't we? I 'aint spending the rest of my life on this ship.

I'm pretty damn used to makin' stuff work with what I got, but sometimes it's just not possible.

You know, you shouldn't tell me that.

[Something flashes across her face - like she's remembering something that was particularly distressing for her - but it's gone again quickly.]

Broke's broke, nothin' you can do about it. Doesn't mean everything here is broke. Ship's okay, for now, though who knows how long that'll be. Last time we had power problems we never did figure out why or how.

I can see you're real motivated to get off this ship.

I'm here to keep her runnin' until we can figure this thing out. [Annoyed look!] Nobody's gettin' home if she breaks down and leaves us stranded.

You do that, and I'll figure a way off of this thing before that can happen.

Right, 'cause we've all just been waitin' on you to show up all these months.

Well, I'm here now. Aren't you lucky.

And here I thought I liked fellas with healthy egos.

It 'aint ego if it's the truth.

( 2 ; PSA.)

video; because this needed to happen

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