[voice] in which skulduggery proves to be a unique butterfly

[sammyskeleton]

I noticed that there seem to be a lot of you, lately, that feel the need to explain who - or what - you are to the rest of us stuck here with you. It makes sense. We need to band together, after all. Like that neurotic man shouting about his cube said, honesty is the best policy here. If we are all wandering about aimlessly, the least we can do for each other is announce anything we might do that could possibly cause damage to others.

[Wow, that sentence got away from him. Whatever, he presses on.] At the very least, all of these announcements not pertaining to the very real threat of demons aboard the ship have convinced me that I, too, have to admit something about myself that could be a problem for you, later on.

[He tries really hard to sound like this admission is taking it out of him. God, it's just so hard, so difficult, to admit that...]

I'm afraid that I'm exceptionally fantastic, and if I'm left unchecked, I will continue to be far too good at too many things. It's a burden that I must bear alone, but I hope that you all will understand and, in time, come to accept this curse of mine.

[WHEW that's a weight off his chest. He turns off the recording - then quickly snaps it back on to add,] Ah, yes, also - I'm a skeleton. I suppose that one's important too. So don't faint if you see me wandering about. Right. Good. [THERE now he's done.]

Comments

[faderbroderson]

[Godric is amused. He's not often amused these days, so congrats.]

Such a heavy burden. I sincerely hope you have strong bones to carry it.

[sammyskeleton]

They haven't failed me yet. [He is completely somber and so very put-upon by his duties of being fucking amazing, it's ridiculous.]

[statsraaden]

Er... [Stats tries to get over the whole skeleton thing, but it's a bit hard.] yes, you're right.

On my part, I used to be a tall ship. Nothing dangerous in that, now that I'm a human now.

I also tend to learn fast as well, which means we can become brilliant together. [He chuckles.]

[sammyskeleton]

As opposed to a short ship, I assume?

[notpanicking]

[Dear God you sound like Megamind.]

Terrible curse, fantasticness. I hope that you have a strong and solid support group to assist with the burden you carry.

[sammyskeleton]

[No what are you talking about he's nothing like that guy.]

Given that my support group has been entirely left behind to live without me for a while, I'm doing my best on my own for now.

voice;

[jilt]

Seems to me being skeletal would become limiting.

voice;

[sammyskeleton]

How do you figure? I never have to worry about pimples, my poker face is astounding, everything fits me...

Admittedly, it does limit me in hairstyles. I really do miss my hair. But that's about it.

voice

[megamind]

I knew you were a winner [his grin is audible from here] I'm sure we'll have to make do with exceptional intelligence, ability and dashing good looks.

Well, I have to labor under the burden of the latter. Do skeletons qualify as handsome? Good bones? Fine cheekbones? I'm not sure. [There's a chortling laugh] Oh well, we'll simply have to make do with one of us being rakishly handsome!

voice

[sammyskeleton]

I've been told I'm a very handsome skeleton by very reliable sources.

[He doesn't bother pointing out that he's pretty sure Megamind can't be considered handsome. Well, maybe, if you're into big heads. He's sure there are kids out there who would think he's awfully cool looking. Somewhere.]

Glad to see that you're no longer confined to the brig. I was terribly worried for you. [Yeah, totally.]

audio

[alwaysagit]

Keep the bone-rattling to a minimum and we won't have a problem.

audio

[sammyskeleton]

Funny thing about that - bones only rattle when they're put in a sack and shaken about. Mine are all firmly attached, and don't do any rattling whatsoever.

If you do happen to hear me rattle, I'd actually like to know. Chances are that means I've broken something again.

voice.

[swagneto]

[ Skeleton. Erik blinks for a second, surprised. It's unheard of, to say the least, but after mutants like him, vampires, and werewolves around, Erik really shouldn't be caught off guard. ]

All we need is a Frankenstein and we can have our own Halloween at this rate.

voice.

[sammyskeleton]

Frankenstein was the doctor. His monster didn't have a name.

[Now he's just being facetious.] Just so you know, I don't do parties, so don't expect to book me for Halloween.

voice;

[gothchicklit]

You're a skeleton? [ She pauses for a moment and then: ] Yeah, no, I'm calling bullshit on that one.

voice;

[sammyskeleton]

Oh, October. [He sounds PLEASED AS PUNCH to hear your voice.] Good, I was wondering when someone would be skeptical. It's strange that everyone's believed me without even seeing it for themselves.

Well, other than Godric and Megamind. They, obviously, have seen it for themselves.

What's so hard to believe about it?

[audio]

[cutsofftheirlimbs]

...A skeleton.

[WELP.]

[audio]

[sammyskeleton]

Everyone's very hung up on that little admission. I thought for certain that people would be more concerned with how amazing I am. [Glib as fuuuuuuck]

video;

[entrapments]

Um. I have a question.

[voice]

[sammyskeleton]

Yes?

[consulting]

Skeleton? :)

SH

[voice]

[sammyskeleton]

I don't know if I like that smiley face you typed in there. But yes, a skeleton.

audio;

[butwedonot]

[ Blah, blah blah... skeleton. What. ]

A skeleton? Are you being serious or is this another bit of modern facetiousness that I don't understand?

audio;

[sammyskeleton]

As serious as the grave.

[HOO HOO HOO that's a good one.]

audio;

[pocketfulofsouls]

Oh, my dear boy.

You're not alone.

The condition is a rare one, but not unheard of.

It is, however, untreatable so far as I know.

As to the latter condition - there might be an ointment you can scare up for that somewhere.

audio;

[sammyskeleton]

[Crowley gets it, clearly.] I've learned to live with both conditions, thankfully, so until there's a cure, I think I'll be able to soldier on.