ataraxion | [text] eridan's guide to haircare

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[text] eridan's guide to haircare

ok since its been ovver 120 days since people started showwin up on this ship i think its time to seriously address some basic fuckin problems goin on here
for those a you neww to this place basically you can disappear at any time an no one knowws if that means you go home or you just get eaten by some kind a monster or wwho the fuck knowws
theres also a mysterious room no one can find that has skeletons in it but wwhatevver that shit is pointless

heres the important part
its come to my attention despite me tryin to ignore it that a lot a you are startin to look pretty fuckin shaggy as far as hair goes
also gross
seriously take some a the basic ablution supplies an clean yourselvves up if i can smell you comin that means you need to showwer
anywway just because wwere stuck on this ship goin down the coddamn rivver styx doesnt mean that you cant look presentable

there are some scissors lyin around at least i managed to find somethin that wworks so maybe you all should take a fuckin page outta my book an get yourselvves cleaned up

if you dont knoww howw to cut your owwn hair one youre a complete failure
twwo i can do it for you
i wwont evven ask for anythin in return since people not lookin like shit is all the rewward i need
though if any a you got a good wway to get some dye set up i could use that

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Not sure what to make of this to be honest. I get asking people to shower a bit more. But really, we're stuck on a ship with no clue how to get home. Do you think appearances honestly should matter?

wwhy shouldnt it matter
appearances are evverythin

if you look haggard an fuckin stink like a beached wwhale then wwhen wwe showw up at another station or anywwhere else wwith a population howw do you expect to get to knoww any a the nativves
much less find out good information wwhen evveryone thinks youre a crazy homeless person

also appearances are alwways gonna matter no matter wwhere you are are you tellin me that you dont look at people wwith unkempt hair an bodily odors an think about howw to avvoid dealin wwith them wwhen you can
if you say you dont use appearances wwhen you make your first impressions youre either a liar or really fuckin dumb

Looks will always matter to a degree. But this situation we are in, well, it tends to put everything we think into question, and I honestly don't care what people look like. Just as long as they are willing to help get us home and wish me no harm, I could honestly care less how bad they smell. I mean, think about it, if looks were of concern, do you think I would be talking to you? Which isn't meant as an insult, please don't take it as one. I'm just saying, you are clearly different from me, and if you were back home, I'm pretty sure I would be avoiding you just out of uncertainty - which has nothing to do with looks and more about the unknown. AGAIN, not an insult, just stating how you're unlike anything I've ever seen before. I'm sure you would avoid me as well - even if I were the most proper looking thing out there. Does this make sense?

no it doesnt since as soon as you say you dont care i assume youre lyin about it like evveryone does because its vvain or somethin to pay attention to looks
an anywway it wwould be a nonissue if wwe wwere back home you wwouldnt evven knoww trolls exist that seems stupid to evven compare to here

look if you dont need help wwith your hair or wwith your hygiene an all you wwanna do is basically insult me then say its not an insult
newwsflash eridan ampora knowws wwhat the fuck an insult is dont try to act like its not one
then you didnt need to respond im tryin to be helpful because some a us actually do care about that kind a shit

You don't know me, Eridan. So you can't really assume that much about me. You can always ask, and I perhaps will answer you on things. But to be honest with you, I'm not lying here. I honestly don't care about looks. And look I'm only using examples here, trolls are trolls, just like humans are humans and we are from different places. It is what it is. You know though, I'm just trying to be friendly here; you don't need to assume I'm trying to cause a fight with you.

wwhat exactly are you tryin to do then

Figure you out.

[ it's as simple as that, eridan. she honestly is just trying to understand you better. you could very well be a twisted projection, but whatever it is that you are, there is a reason to it all, and she would like to understand you a bit more. ]

youre doin a pretty lousy job of it if thats wwhat youre tryin to do
but here let me help you out since youvve gone adrift here

appearance means evverythin
evven if you think it doesnt some people actually put a lot a fuckin stock in the wway they look an just because you think it doesnt matter doesnt mean evveryone feels the same wway
for one i wwould be a fuckin wwreck if i couldnt keep myself lookin presentable
evveryone has their owwn fuckin wway a dealin wwith this situation
so i thought id be helpful in some fuckin capacity an offer to help people wwho feel the same wway i do

youre the one alwways lookin for lists or somethin right
wwhat if i came into your posts an told you lists didnt matter an they wwould just make things evven more complicated than they needed to be
thatd be fuckin rude wwouldnt it

[ what in the fuck kind of typing is this irene doesn't even. ]

How sweet of you, to advise the general populace in such a way.

[Here, have the voice of the person who types like that. Sorry, Irene.]

Yeah, it's about as nice'a me as I can get, givven the situation an' the fact that nobody really wwants to talk about any'a these basic fuckin' necessities.

And free haircuts. You're practically a saint.

Like I said, wwhat am I gonna charge? Money's kinda fuckin' useless.

An exchange of goods would be possible.

Wwhat goods. I don't need anythin' people havve here, unless it's hair dye, like I said, so wwhat's the point'a dealin' wwith more crap people toss my wway?

You don't want anything?

Sure, I wwant plenty'a things, but nobody has them. Like a recuperacoon, an' some stylin' products, an' hair dye, an' my cape, some neww clothes...

[Pause.]

But none'a that's just gonna be up for trade, so wwhy bother? Besides, like I said. Makin' people not look fuckin' atrocious is a pretty good fuckin' trade-off, if you ask me.

You don't know unless you ask. There's all sort of possibilities, if you're resourceful.

I'vve already asked around for plenty'a that shit, an' most of it doesn't evven exist here. Though, if you do see my cape around here, purple an' all that, let me knoww an' I'll... trade somethin' for it, I guess. Since that's the only thing that might turn up here.

I'll have to keep my eyes out for it then.

Yeah, thanks, then. [AWKWARDLY] Uh, like I said, if you wwanna borroww these scissors I found or need help trimmin' your hair, let me knoww. In, like, return for you keepin' an eye out, or wwhatevver.

How kind. That would be lovely, thank you.

Can you blame some of them? Showers are one thing, but I suppose personal appearance means nothing when petty conversations seem to be the biggest necessity.

[ He wouldn't say no to a hair cut though. ]

[ she couldn't help but shrug slightly at this, letting out a low sigh - assuming this was going to be more work then she thought of course. it wasn't that she expected people to warm to her easily, but more she wasn't always fond of working hard at convincing people she wasn't all out nasty.

so instead of the standard text, she is quickly flipping on the voice, saying almost apologetically. ]

Look, I'm not trying to cause issues here - or even trying to insult you. I'm just trying to have a conversation here.

[ a small sigh escaped her, not feeling the need to have to defend herself full out on why she was pinged to the post, adding: ] Clearly we don't see eye to eye on somethings, but wouldn't talking about things rather then assuming get us farther here?

im not evven sure wwhat youre tryin to say here but assumin youre basically bein a jerk an actin like im crazy for wwantin to help people look decent
just remember the longer your hair is the more likely its gonna get in your face or caught somewwhere right wwhen you need to havve full vvisability

...Cool. Just lemme knoww wwhen you need 'em, I guess.

[He never seems to resist following people's leads when it comes to how they respond. But that just makes it more obvious that he's a haughty thirteen-year-old, unfortunately.]

Is this seriously somethin' you wwanna talk out [can't you hear the airquotes]? I mean, c'mon. I'm tryin' to be nice an' offer some servvices some people might wwant. Is that somethin' you need'a debate? I mean, if that's wwhat you humans do...

I'll be in touch.

:33 < ummmmmm....
:33 < its pawfully nice of you to offer to give people haircuts, eri!
:33 < but dont you think you couldve done without the whole insulting part?
:33 < and whats this about mysterious rooms :??

wwere you not around for that i dont evven knoww anymore
basically there wwas this hallwway i ended up in
other people did too but fuck them this is my story
an no matter howw far i wwalked or wwhich direction i wwent it nevver ended or split off or anythin like that it was fuckin annoyin
anywway after like a day or twwo a that suddenly outta nowwhere there wwas this fuckin room
it just showwed up it had a smiley face an shit on the door i dont knoww
an inside it wwere these twwo skeletons all wwrapped around eachother tryin to be cuddly evven though
you knoww
skeletons
an it was fuckin freaky an there wwas wwritin on the wwall like dont trust them or somethin
theyre not tellin you evverythin
i dunno

but yeah basically fuck that it hasnt showwn up since just like evverything else here

also i wwasnt insultin anyone i wwas statin fuckin facts

That seems accurate enough. Except I don't think you're crazy. The rest of the passengers for not wanting a hair cut seem crazy. Clearly they lack priorities on board here.

really

wwell good at least some people dont think im bein stupid for offerin a haircut or some shit to people im impressed
then again youre pretty levvel headed so i guess that makes sense

Level headed is an understatement. I'm one of the most rational people around.

[ which is all lies actually. erik isn't. ]

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