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004 [AUDIO --> VIDEO]
[Oh wow it's an audio post let's just OH GOD who is shouting into their communicator why would you do that.]
GREETINGS, TRANQUILITY. MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.
[Does he have your attention? Good. The post switches from audio to video and HEY LOOK it's that ginger robot guy aren't you excited.]
Haha, kidding. I'm kidding.
Except, no, not really. I'm not. Do actually want your attention--I have some important things to say, so. Revise that. Just kidding about the shouting; I'm not going to shout any more. Listening on your part, however, is still highly recommended. Seriously, you're going to want in on this, because it regards something this ship decidedly lacks. I mean, it's all well and good if you want to run around playing unofficially official self-appointed who-died-and-made-you-king fake-y pretend captain and friends, but where does that get us in the end?
I am, of course, referring to the delicate art of cultural relations. Seems we've already had a bit of a mishap, there, with the bloke who tried to eat people. All of that could have been avoided with a little communication! Some--some understanding. We've got a lot of different…species…and customs…and…ideals…floating about…we're going to have disagreements. People are going to get eaten, apparently.
But! We can make it slightly less likely for people to get eaten, or murdered, or offended. What we need is someone…or someones, depending, who can successfully navigate these, ...cultural discrepancies. As a representative of the, uh. Fabricated personalities aboard this ship, I understand that we might be confusing to humans and trolls and…vampires. That's okay! Can't expect organics to really grasp what makes us tick, so there are bound to be misunderstandings and--and misconceptions. That's okay too!
Not going to speak for the other non-humans, but I am an AI, and there are quite a few of us, and I have been here the longest--well, HAL and I have been here the longest--so what I can offer is my guidance as an--an ambassador, if you will. Ambassador of Organic-Artificial Relations, working tirelessly to reduce the aforementioned misunderstandings and misconceptions. No need to thank me.
Let's see, uh. Qualifications! Been here the longest, as I've stated, with HAL, of course--HAL, you can be my co-ambassador, if you like. Knowledgeable, obviously. Worked extensively with humans back home. Basically an expert. Did not murder any of them, unlike certain computers who shall not be named. Very diplomatic, me.
Wow, actually? This is such a good idea, I think every group should have a representative. Most of the crew is human, by my estimation, so those of us who aren't need to make sure we've got proper say in how things are run. It'd solve a lot of problems, if you ask me. Clear up a few things along the way. Maybe the troll ambassador can explain to me why I can't have a bucket. Been wondering about that, if I'm honest. I need one.
Second order of business. If any of you esteemed listeners have experience with or--or interest in robotics, let me know. I've got a bit of a personal project that is, ah. Not exactly progressing as quickly as I'd like it to. So inquire within, as it were! If you're interested. Giant blue heads need not apply and can, in fact, bugger right off.
----------
Did you get my notes? I've been leaving them outside your room but you haven't responded. Hopefully no one's stealing them. That would--that would be unfortunate, though I'd imagine it's a…distinct possibility.
GREETINGS, TRANQUILITY. MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASE.
[Does he have your attention? Good. The post switches from audio to video and HEY LOOK it's that ginger robot guy aren't you excited.]
Haha, kidding. I'm kidding.
Except, no, not really. I'm not. Do actually want your attention--I have some important things to say, so. Revise that. Just kidding about the shouting; I'm not going to shout any more. Listening on your part, however, is still highly recommended. Seriously, you're going to want in on this, because it regards something this ship decidedly lacks. I mean, it's all well and good if you want to run around playing unofficially official self-appointed who-died-and-made-you-king fake-y pretend captain and friends, but where does that get us in the end?
I am, of course, referring to the delicate art of cultural relations. Seems we've already had a bit of a mishap, there, with the bloke who tried to eat people. All of that could have been avoided with a little communication! Some--some understanding. We've got a lot of different…species…and customs…and…ideals…floating about…we're going to have disagreements. People are going to get eaten, apparently.
But! We can make it slightly less likely for people to get eaten, or murdered, or offended. What we need is someone…or someones, depending, who can successfully navigate these, ...cultural discrepancies. As a representative of the, uh. Fabricated personalities aboard this ship, I understand that we might be confusing to humans and trolls and…vampires. That's okay! Can't expect organics to really grasp what makes us tick, so there are bound to be misunderstandings and--and misconceptions. That's okay too!
Not going to speak for the other non-humans, but I am an AI, and there are quite a few of us, and I have been here the longest--well, HAL and I have been here the longest--so what I can offer is my guidance as an--an ambassador, if you will. Ambassador of Organic-Artificial Relations, working tirelessly to reduce the aforementioned misunderstandings and misconceptions. No need to thank me.
Let's see, uh. Qualifications! Been here the longest, as I've stated, with HAL, of course--HAL, you can be my co-ambassador, if you like. Knowledgeable, obviously. Worked extensively with humans back home. Basically an expert. Did not murder any of them, unlike certain computers who shall not be named. Very diplomatic, me.
Wow, actually? This is such a good idea, I think every group should have a representative. Most of the crew is human, by my estimation, so those of us who aren't need to make sure we've got proper say in how things are run. It'd solve a lot of problems, if you ask me. Clear up a few things along the way. Maybe the troll ambassador can explain to me why I can't have a bucket. Been wondering about that, if I'm honest. I need one.
Second order of business. If any of you esteemed listeners have experience with or--or interest in robotics, let me know. I've got a bit of a personal project that is, ah. Not exactly progressing as quickly as I'd like it to. So inquire within, as it were! If you're interested. Giant blue heads need not apply and can, in fact, bugger right off.
----------
Did you get my notes? I've been leaving them outside your room but you haven't responded. Hopefully no one's stealing them. That would--that would be unfortunate, though I'd imagine it's a…distinct possibility.
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