ataraxion | oo8. text.

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oo8. text.

curious updates from this side of the ship, in continuation of this last post.

since then, several things have occurred in direct relation to the effects I last described. the observable ones include:

inc░░░░sed pain and bleedin▓▓░▓░ly treatable by physical contact with others (see medical's update re neurological damage)
the psychic observation being that the "ripping" sensation continues in earnest where that membrane area is attached to our minds, and physical contact triggers a "strengthening" of that area that resists that ripping
it also appears to make that membrane area "thinner"
the psychic whiteno▓░ going on behind the membrane seems to have increased in activity (imagine an angry beehive)
as of latest observance, I can sense the ripping/pulling become weaker
last but not ▓▓░st, ▓▓░cinations/projections of various stripes tailored to past experiences or ▓▓░chological states

here's the thing.

when I talked about this presence before, I talked about its influence exerted over us -- as if the membrane were a window, and the ░░░ng on the other side of it is shading through its influence like light.

what I've begun to sense is the opposite:
I believe we are imposing control over or towards "it". I think it is trying to detach from us, for whatever reason, and we are collectively not letting it break free, and this resistance is only increased via physical proximity, and the more the merri░░░░░

in extension and in support of that idea, I think we have more power than we realised.
in the past week, I have ob▓▓▓ed our ability to 'find' people and dimin░▓ the effects of our projections. not only are we overcoming these projections ourselves, but it's very possible that we are in fact generating them by accident, and focus is allowing us to tame them. I think we are even changing our environments around us to 'find' people more efficiently, however subconsciously, and that this "thinni▓▓░ of the membrane is granting us access to these abilities.

I implore▓▓▓▓o remain in contact with others to avoid harm. those on the passenger quarters end should gather together and equally try to help people get to safety. the clock is ░icking towards next jump and we have friends on the wrong side of the ship.

we need to st░░░ ░onsidering how to get them back and whether we have the power to do so.

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in other words
safety in numbers, right?

something like that

[There's a SEC PING that goes out alongside Taylor's response, though she doesn't know how reliable that might be with the network glitching.]

Fore should get everyone you can down to medbay.
We're using the gardens on this side.

[Avoiding touching the rest? Maybe a little.]

sent a flare to CMO
ensure everyone's got a hand to hold

Working on it.

[And then, after a delay:]

You really sure it's us?

It's what I observe
choosing to trust my insticnts on this one

You're the expert on heads.
That's not instincts.
What do you think we can do with it?

in the short term? use the focus mechanic to change reality. find one another when we stray. share empathetic connections for better or for worse. tame the hallucinations we're afflicted with, if they weren't ours to begin with, or see if we can affect them directly.

in the long? perhaps we can put an end to this, if we can control what's controlling us.

What it's done to us won't work against it.

wor░▓░g on it

[and nobly putting aside feelings of ewww CMO in order to do so, what a sacrifice]

Acknowledged.
Stay in pairs.
Report when you can.

understood.
▓▓░ ░▓░▓▓░fe.

[Oops, reception is bad.]

No going solo on this one.
Report in as regularly as possible.

░▓░▓▓░
will do.
don't plan to repeat ▓▓░ ░▓░▓▓░stake again.

Are the lifts the only way to reach the other section?

no, there are on-foot access ways, dangerous ones
but they're all sealed off as well

if we go as a group, is there a way to break through the seal? what are the seal's properties?

Maybe I can indentify the problem with the lifts. Is there any safe way to ride out the jump on that side?

there isn't

it's my hope that as a group, we'll be able to sense them and create a rift, or weaken whatever is allowing it to keep us all separate
I'm no engineer, so I can't t▓▓░ ░ou very much about the forces preventi▓▓ us from the other side -- it does seem structural

I'll check the ▓▓░░░ if I can find the wiring. a rift soun░s very scifi -- sorry if I'm still a little skeptical. Have we heard from anyone over there lately░

only networ░
even more interference

but as for scifi, lo▓░ where we are, my friend

Point

▓ti░░, I'll ch▓ck what I know

please go carefully
take someone with you

I will

So, what, we're not su ▓░▓ed to worry about the part where we're mixing up each other's memories and nerve endings? How do you know we shouldn't let it- ▓▓░ ?

[ Static overtakes the line for a beat, and his next words come back faded, directed askance. ]

▓▓░▓n't gimme that look, I know you thi▓░- look, if it's so goddamn important, you tell him.

[From somewhere even further away from the mic:]

He does▓░ need me to tell him ▓▓░thing. You're the idiot.

[ WOW, WHOEVER COULD IT BE. ]

Hello boys.

[ His voice is rough, carrying a note of concern, but despite himself, there exists amusement. ]

Shouldn░░ let ▓▓░what?

[ And, as per instructions from Comms, he sends the text attachment of shouldn't let it what? three times, to avoid consistent line noise. ]

D▓░░▓▓░

[ wow that's super helpful, comms network. ]

Detach. If it's trying to detach, why not l░ it. My faithful com▓░nion here doesn't think that's the best idea, but I don't want psychic powers, I want this thing out of my head.

Edited 2015-06-05 07:05 (UTC)

And ▓▓░t do you think'll hap▓░n to you once you're detac░░░?

Based on what medical's putting out and what I can s▓░▓▓, I don't know we'll all live through that tr░▓ma -- and even if we do, we won't have a grasp on it any longer. Your faithful ░ompanion has the right of it, I ░░ink.

These aren't just psychic powers. We've seen these psy▓▓░░▓░░░░░░▓▓

[ Upon review, he adds in text: we've seen these psychic powers before. ]

I'm not sa▓░░g all of us, I'm saying— [ Him, specifically, if it's not worth the risk to anyone else, but he doesn't imagine Charles or Felix will go for that. Instead: ] Death ain't alw▓░s the w░rst option.

[ He's not pushing Felix away, though. He just sounds tired, worn thin. ]

Whe▓░'ve we seen these before?

It▓▓ not about choosing death over a potential▓░ horrible fate. Considering the emphasis on team work, we ░ould need all the help we can get.

And we've seen projected rooms and environments like these when we went into the corridors. I saw my school, again. And figures from our nightmares and best dreams even de▓░░ still. The spacial strangeness, too. Even the emotion and thought sharing, I could swear I've read about before. Jump cyc░▓ twenty-some▓░░▓▓, before my time.

These are powers possessed by it, is the point. Probably. And our accessing them is more than having powers, it impli▓▓ control. Agency.

Agency.

[ Skeptical, but lets out a sigh anyway. ]

▓░ight, alright. If we all end up as some kind of identi▓░░▓▓ess hive person for the r▓░t of our days, I'm gonna find a way to tell you I told you so.

[ And aside, ] Y▓░ too.

Woul▓░░▓ become th▓░ a long time ░go.

Any idea how long ago? Talking to the ░▓eap seats, here.

You know ░▓out Strel░. You don't think it could've been that from the ░░▓inning, if that's what ░░▓▓░anted?

I'd recommend repeating the body of your message two or three times in a row in any transmission. There can't be line noise in the same places all three times. Communications will attempt to continue to assist in locating people, but we're going to have to give ourselves plenty of time to get to Medbay before the jump.

[There can, it's just highly irregular, so repetition usually helps. True to his suggestion, the previous message was sent five times in a row in a single transmission, with distortion in different places each time.]

Edited 2015-06-04 09:19 (UTC)

thank you for the tip

and yes
make contact also with people in Medical bay who can help you get there through the focusing/finding technique I mentioned. it's highly possible we're a door away.
feel free to think of me if you like.

[ He mimics Ryuuzaki with repeated transmissions. ]

So you're saying us becoming a hivemind is a good thing, now? I know we decided it was better than death but I'm not sure how you made the leap to it empowering us.

hysterical optimism.

no, I don't think being a hivemind is a good thing exactly, I think it's incredibly dangerous, but I believe not only is it better to being dead, it is also better than letting that thing break free
if we have any chance of surviving or better yet, stopping it, I think this it.

I'm not sure how to convince you of the 'leap'. it's what I sensed when I was forced to resolve my own projection.
did not Laurens say we are one of the players?

He did. He also said we're changing the rules. And I agree it's better than dead, like we discussed I think its absence is what killed everyone on the Cyllene/Strela/etc. So I get where you're coming from with a lot of this.

I guess I'm not so much looking to be convinced as just not quite following your reasoning about us now having power over it. Do you have any sense of how or in what way we could affect it now other than by preventing it from pulling away? Can we do back to it what it's done to us? Could we find it the way we've found each other?

'power over it' might be actually hysterical optimism, but what I am trying to articulate is that I don't believe the effects we are experiencing now (the projections, the empathetic connections with others, the ability to find one another through focus) are its overwhelming influence for once. I sense it is coming from us.
the strengthening/thinning is the key. we are both locking onto it to prevent its escape, and simultaneously degrading the separation and as a result, we are accessing its powers. I think if the degrading meant it had power over us, we'd be in a hell of a lot more trouble than we are now.

to answer your first question: again, in preventing it to pull away, we seem also to be accessing its abilities. your second question: I would certainly be game to try. and for the third: we may wish to try to find out more remotely before we go after it, but I think it's possible.

I guess that makes sense, that if the thinning meant it had more power it would presumably be doing more of the puppeteering. If it wants to pull away then whatever is the opposite of that is probably good for us. I guess I just find it difficult to rule out this being some sort of reverse psychology situation.

I wonder what would happen if we got enough people in contact at once and you went back at it.

I've had it with reverse psychology fears at this stage. there comes a time, i think, when you have to make a call and being jaded is getting tiresome. I know it's easier for me to take a leap of faith based off data only I and a limited few can perceive.

and I wonder that too. I'm hesitant to try until our current ailments resolve themselves but make a note of it for the future.

How much do you think we can change the environment here though? I mean, if we really try?

I don't know yet
uncharted waters
it bears experimentation

So something to work on after we figure out the rest of what's happening?

something to work on once we've survived the next few days

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