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the blair map project
Hello. Sirius & I had a go at mapping the ship, & it went a bit wrong.
Not wrong like the boggart went wrong. Don't worry. Everything is fine, except our map, although to be safe everyone should avoid the lounge on 005 near the 070s rooms for a day or two while we sort it. It's possible that the spellwork is off. But as we're actually very good at this (I promise) the more likely explanation is that something else is off.
If things had gone according to plan, it would have been a map that was anchored to the ship & able to move with the corridors & so on. It's hard to explain what happened, but we have it recorded.
ATTACHMENT:
***
[The video starts (as so many videos taken by wizards historically do) focused on the floor - but only for a moment. Sickening swoopy pitch of someone turning their device around, with brief camera-against-a-hand darkness, before--
A nice bright lounge, just like every other lounge - sofas maybe looking a little more plump but otherwise, totally nondescript. Except here’s Remus, not waving, and--]
Oh, come on. [--Sirius, holding the camera. The picture jiggles around a little, in disappointment.] At least do the introduction to our brilliant life’s work. Well, part of life’s.
[And; and this is really what’s interesting here. Behind Remus, behind overstuffed sofas - traced all across the blank grey and white walls of the lounge - are these lines, loads and loads of lines. Better than a mural, this is rooms and corridors and grav couches and empty space. A map of the Tranquility, traced out in painstaking architectural perfection, all around the room, like the skeleton of the ship in panorama.]
Five jumps. Five million identical empty rooms. [ Only one of those is an exaggeration. Both sound a bit distracted, as he's frowning at notes instead of putting on a performance. Why is he on this side of the camera. ] Two unnamed wizards present... [ This is where a fancy name would go, if it had one. It doesn't. ] A great big map.
[ He looks up at Sirius' face to see if that was good enough, then down at the camera lens. He doesn't wave, but he does cross his eyes and stick out his tongue for a second and a half. ]
Are you ready?
Always!
[The triumphant proclamation is accompanied by Sirius toggling his device (and the recording) to the other hand, so he can get at his wand more properly. Mostly the picture is of the floor now. And there are some things that remain secret, so whatever spell to activate the thing that is mumbled -
And then, a confused silence, brief, before the indistinct chatter of did we say it wrong, no we couldn’t’ve, we’re geniuses, starts up - and then that, too, cuts off abruptly, and the video swings back up, because -
Because the map is exploding out from itself. The neat ordered lines of corridors and rooms, all of it is unraveling, spooling outwards, black on black. Hallways stretch out of their places; living quarters distend, sagging - like spindled fingers, reaching, like thick ribbons, the lines of the map expanding from their boundaries, stretching onto the ceiling, spilling and crawling onto the floor. Black, and more black, and more black, filling in the walls, and it keeps going, and going.
The tone of the background noise has taken on more urgency now, still indistinct - what the hell, bloody shit, did you say it wrong, did you say it wrong - there’s little zaps of magic, brief frantic spellwork, all of it caught in the periphery of the camera - and none of it does nothing to stop the growth of the map, the map is still growing, an inexorable spill of black - Sirius backs up as the lines have nearly reached them, and then -
All at once, the lines retreat, like ink being sucked down a drain, but quicker. One smooth slick slide back, winding up, all of the lines returning back to one central point, to a small space high on one of the walls - which is not a point at all, but a square shape: a room. The boundaries of its walls look thick at first, as all the rest of the lines flow back into it - but shape thins out, absorbing everything, every bit of black, until it’s the only thing drawn on the wall. The single box, outlined in black. Empty.
The video stays focused there a moment, on the still lines. There is a very quiet the bloody fuck - . Then it clicks off.]
***
It still looks like that. We've been watching it for a while & nothing has changed. If anyone has any ideas, we would love to hear them.
Not wrong like the boggart went wrong. Don't worry. Everything is fine, except our map, although to be safe everyone should avoid the lounge on 005 near the 070s rooms for a day or two while we sort it. It's possible that the spellwork is off. But as we're actually very good at this (I promise) the more likely explanation is that something else is off.
If things had gone according to plan, it would have been a map that was anchored to the ship & able to move with the corridors & so on. It's hard to explain what happened, but we have it recorded.
ATTACHMENT:
***
[The video starts (as so many videos taken by wizards historically do) focused on the floor - but only for a moment. Sickening swoopy pitch of someone turning their device around, with brief camera-against-a-hand darkness, before--
A nice bright lounge, just like every other lounge - sofas maybe looking a little more plump but otherwise, totally nondescript. Except here’s Remus, not waving, and--]
Oh, come on. [--Sirius, holding the camera. The picture jiggles around a little, in disappointment.] At least do the introduction to our brilliant life’s work. Well, part of life’s.
[And; and this is really what’s interesting here. Behind Remus, behind overstuffed sofas - traced all across the blank grey and white walls of the lounge - are these lines, loads and loads of lines. Better than a mural, this is rooms and corridors and grav couches and empty space. A map of the Tranquility, traced out in painstaking architectural perfection, all around the room, like the skeleton of the ship in panorama.]
Five jumps. Five million identical empty rooms. [ Only one of those is an exaggeration. Both sound a bit distracted, as he's frowning at notes instead of putting on a performance. Why is he on this side of the camera. ] Two unnamed wizards present... [ This is where a fancy name would go, if it had one. It doesn't. ] A great big map.
[ He looks up at Sirius' face to see if that was good enough, then down at the camera lens. He doesn't wave, but he does cross his eyes and stick out his tongue for a second and a half. ]
Are you ready?
Always!
[The triumphant proclamation is accompanied by Sirius toggling his device (and the recording) to the other hand, so he can get at his wand more properly. Mostly the picture is of the floor now. And there are some things that remain secret, so whatever spell to activate the thing that is mumbled -
And then, a confused silence, brief, before the indistinct chatter of did we say it wrong, no we couldn’t’ve, we’re geniuses, starts up - and then that, too, cuts off abruptly, and the video swings back up, because -
Because the map is exploding out from itself. The neat ordered lines of corridors and rooms, all of it is unraveling, spooling outwards, black on black. Hallways stretch out of their places; living quarters distend, sagging - like spindled fingers, reaching, like thick ribbons, the lines of the map expanding from their boundaries, stretching onto the ceiling, spilling and crawling onto the floor. Black, and more black, and more black, filling in the walls, and it keeps going, and going.
The tone of the background noise has taken on more urgency now, still indistinct - what the hell, bloody shit, did you say it wrong, did you say it wrong - there’s little zaps of magic, brief frantic spellwork, all of it caught in the periphery of the camera - and none of it does nothing to stop the growth of the map, the map is still growing, an inexorable spill of black - Sirius backs up as the lines have nearly reached them, and then -
All at once, the lines retreat, like ink being sucked down a drain, but quicker. One smooth slick slide back, winding up, all of the lines returning back to one central point, to a small space high on one of the walls - which is not a point at all, but a square shape: a room. The boundaries of its walls look thick at first, as all the rest of the lines flow back into it - but shape thins out, absorbing everything, every bit of black, until it’s the only thing drawn on the wall. The single box, outlined in black. Empty.
The video stays focused there a moment, on the still lines. There is a very quiet the bloody fuck - . Then it clicks off.]
***
It still looks like that. We've been watching it for a while & nothing has changed. If anyone has any ideas, we would love to hear them.
video;
There's rooms without doors. There's probably even rooms without doors here. We didn't find any when we were doing the map, but they're probably out there.
video;
[ gOSH. ]
Any interesting theories yet?
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D'you know about freezing frames?
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Like ice magic?
[ ?????? Where's Elsa. ]
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[ They need an adult. ]
Or—compress our algorithms.
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[ On the bright side, it means they look like male models, so.
But they really are like hitting a computer trying to crack files out of it physically ok. ]
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[ But only 80. ]
Which of them is which, do you think? Hook's got to be David Duchovny, obviously.
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[ He has no idea who that is, but he's just going to go out on a limb and assume it's offensive. Also, Emma's dad's name. ]
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[ I'll let you decide if that's a 50 Shades joke about his sex addiction or not. ]
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[ Emma what the fuck are you on about. There's a long, skeptical look as he considers that — and comes up with roughly nothing. The hand thing he can't exactly debate, but: ]
And what the hell is AARP?
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It means you're old. [ And she's not going to spell out David Duchovny the sex addict for you over the network, Hook. Bridge too far with PDA. ] Remind me to catch you up on X-Files when we get back. I'll bet it's on Netflix.
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But don't I look fantastic for my age. [ Not a question, just an observation. The mention of Netflix doesn't go completely over his head, at least. That means X-Files is a show, which probably makes David Duchovny an actor, which makes Zoolander a... ]
What's this Zoolander about?
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He suggested ice magic for the frames. I only assumed he knew what he was talking about.
[ Because everyone knows—as of five minutes ago, when the wizards learned it—that frames are the little pictures in the comms devices. Also: electricity. ]
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Are they flirting?
[the important questions. also not sure if offended or not]
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No offense. It's very cute.
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[so. also cap???? but he'll play cool]
I'm not thinking of it, it was suggested. And not defined. [see? ignorance is not their fault.] If it's only a photograph, why not call it that?
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