sixth molotov cocktail made ☾ ( video ) ☾ look out to the future but it tells you nothing.

[mathematically]

[ lydia looks like she's exhausted and if she's truthful about it she honestly is exhausted. for a moment it looks like she's not going to say anything, that she just wanted to broadcast her own face just to show how she appears before she ends up just exhaling. ]

I've been here two years. I know we don't measure things by months and years here but— it's been 25 jumps and where I come from that might as well mean two years. I've been home for months at a time and it felt like a blink of an eye. [ she pauses. ] I'm tired of being on this ship. You get people who are dead at home here and there's no guarantee they'll stay. If you're lucky they stay and you get to bond with them. If you're not, they just leave and you don't. You— who can totally go back home and be alive. They can't.

I get wanting to stay because of that. You all can enjoy being on a creepy horror ship that I'm honestly pretty sure wants us dead or something even worse. It's better than being dead at home, I'll give you that. But I want to go home already. I want to see my mom again and not find myself back here afterward.

[ lydia clears her throat. ] I want to find a way home. I don't want to make this place my home any more than I have. And to do that, I need to do a little research. Now, if you're the type that's getting a little tired of being here and would like to help, you should come talk to me. And maybe, with any luck and a lack of another plague happening, we might actually make some headway.

Comments

[voice|private|100% locked]

[ryuuzaki]

What kind of research?

[Measured, but interested -- maybe it will be a good idea, maybe it will be a good idea to dissuade her.

He's been here for two years, too. He's never gone home. There are loose ends, and his real work, which has felt very far away for some time. The situation is unsatisfying.]

[voice|private|100% locked]

[mathematically]

Research in how we got here. How other people leave, not by death of course. Those are outliers that don't need to be counted if you're researching.

[ It sounds more clinical than she means it to, than she really feels, because all deaths here are important. Death itself is important, but she doesn't want to leave by dying. That defeats the purpose. ]

[ryuuzaki]

When I was brought here, around the same time as you, I was told that it had been done in the past, and that the inquiries hadn't turned up any useful results. I didn't pursue further inquiries partly because I anticipated that there would be enough resistance to make the attempt useless.

That said, I didn't think it was very likely that the research had been anything other than anecdotal. We can't compel participation, so variables in the data will include things like people who don't respond, and people who lie, and people who are unavailable for comment.

They might be more likely to admit what happened if they left and came back. It's hard to say.

private; auggielocked

[overdraws]

Lydia. Are you okay?

[ The only reason Allison isn't rushing to Lydia's side right now instead of responding via the network is cuz she's on shift, patrolling one of the other floors. Still, though, she's thinking about abandoning it just to go to her. ]

private; auggielocked

[mathematically]

I'm fine.

[ Lydia's answer comes out as a reflex before she pauses to just take a deep breath and look straight at Allison. ]

I'm— I'm just tired, Allison. Scott's gone and more people I know are gone and I'm just tired.

( voice. )

[carbonite]

1.) Who the hell wants to stay on this floating deathbucket?
2.) If we could get the shuttles to FTL, we have a shot of getting off of this thing.

( voice. )

[mathematically]

1. People who don't like where they live at home and people who are dead. Don't think I need to explain why the second one I listed might want to stay.
2. And onto what? One of the planets around here? That's not getting home. For anyone unless you came from here.

video » renfaire failcryption.

[skjalf]

I can well understand why you wish to return home, my lady. I would aid you in any way I might.

( though she personally might just rather die here than live through her future at home. )

Pardon me for asking, but would you like to talk about this? You are not faring well.

video » locked

[mathematically]

[ well, lydia can't really blame her for that. different situations call for different desires in staying. ]

Is that your polite way of saying I sound like I'm having a breakdown? [ lydia can't help the laugh that escapes her mouth. ] It's people leaving. There's a limit to the amount you can talk about it before it stops really helping.

text; locked

[iceboxed]

it's not luck
people get left here long enough to make a difference to the people around them
that's when the ship gets rid of them

[and speaking of (dead) people who matter who've been sent back--]

ric taught me how to bake
it's not as good as his but
i made a pie the other day and there's still some left if you want

text; locked

[mathematically]

and do we have to start again when all those people leave and you don't.

[ it's more mean than she means it to be but her frustration just sort of seeps into everything right now. even when it comes to responding to something as simple as that. ]

what flavor?

voice; 95% encryption

[peckish4action]

Robin here. Been only here since jump 31, but...

[ He gets it. And he sure does want to get back home, people need him there. He wants to ask about the whole going home thing, but he. Maybe another time. ]

What kind of help do you need for the research?

voice; 95% encryption

[mathematically]

But last jump alone was enough?

[ Sucked enough, you know, that sort of thing. ]

That depends on what you're good at.

text.

[wolfchild]

let me know how I can help

text.

[mathematically]

I will. Engineering has to be a big part of it. Considering, you know, the ship would crash and explode if engineering wasn't there.

There might be something in the— In everything that might give us some clue.

Video

[lafautedevoltaire]

[The boy on screen looks nine, despite being twelve. He's skinny. Very skinny, having lost the weight he'd managed to put on since being here.]

I'm glad home is better than here for you.

[There's zero sarcasm. He really is glad.]

Video

[mathematically]

[ Lydia's eyes narrow just a tad before she purses her lips. ]

There are some things I don't like about it. [ Namely dead friends but you know. ] But there's less of a chance of dying.

[Voice]

[the_other_eight]

[Lydia might recognize the voice from multiple announcements that certain former members of the crew have been sent home.]

I'd like to help.

[Voice]

[mathematically]

[ Indeed she does, which is why Lydia isn't too surprised to hear it. ]

Because you want to get home too?

anon; text

[killingboys]

has anyone who's ever died in their home world been able to return?

[inquiring minds, etc.]

text

[mathematically]

You mean return alive?

text;

[trynotodie]

i don't honestly know how much help i'd be with the research, but i know i said i would help with the chemistry.

text;

[mathematically]

you're still alive!

[ right no, wrong response. ]

you did. if you're going to be helping me with the chemistry. your part might actually be a little less dry.

[ she loves research but she knows not everyone does. ]

video.

[de_void]

Are we inviting new faces into our fold then?

video.

[mathematically]

Probably. [ a pause. ] Still have to vet them a little to make sure they're actually going to be helpful.