♕ 5th - video - The Sight

[skjalf]

[ there had been a point to her opening this channel. in light of the tragic losses they have suffered here, she has wanted to hold a dinner to celebrate the memory of those who have died and vanished. her mouth moves, but no words are produced. her face becomes deathly pale, her eyes wide and dilated as though in fear. but she has not seen a ghost. no, what she is seeing is something else entirely.

horrible images play before her, which only she might see. the blank look she sports is soon replaced with a one of complete and utter horror. ]

It is hot.. too hot to fight! The Dragon has come from across the sea to wage war against the Boar. Ah, the sun blinds the eyes!

[ she shudders, blinking her unfocused eyes. ] The field is an ocean of blood. I can barely hear over the din of it. The Dragon is swooping in, and his men roar behind him.

His Grace is brave to wear his crown to battle. He is winning.. standing alone in a field of dead, blood coursing over his boots. Ah, it is splendid and horrible!

[ once again, her face becomes a mask of pure terror, scrunching up while her eyes are too-wide for her face. ]

But here comes Lord Stanley! "For Tudor!" he calls. And His Grace has lost his horse. Treason, treason, treason!

[ and that seems to have snapped her out of it. still on camera, elizabeth exposes vulnerability for the first time to those aboard the ship at large, as she cannot control the violent shaking of her form or the tears that appear in her eyes. this is, unsurprisingly, a result of the nightmare she endured within the maze.

she cannot seem to speak for a long, long time. elizabeth covers her mouth with her hands to cover the fact that she is biting her lower lip so hard it is bleeding. and while she is able to finally get a few words out, it is muffled and quavering: ]

Forgive me.

[ she then abruptly ends the broadcast. ]

Comments

[skjalf]

( her eyes are wide while galadriel skims through her memories; and she can feel it. like a reader thumbing delicately through the pages of a much-cherished book. it is similar and yet entirely different from the enormous power she has felt with nuala. and it is profoundly disquieting to think that someone may play the entirety of her life before their eyes in mere moments and know her better than she knows herself.

thus, it is good that she has placed her trust in both women to have a care with that power. she does not think that she will be disappointed here. as odd as this is, in the very least, this is a woman whom in many ways she looks up to as she wishes she might to her own mother. there is a profound respect there, hand-in-hand alongside the trust to form a solid base for her to attempt to the best of her ability to squint her eyes and ignore the naked vulnerability of her mind and her heart in this moment.

there are few others to whom she would make such a gift. her gaze remains as steady as it might, and clear. she is not afraid. )

[inafadingcrown]

[It does not take Galadriel long to find what she needs and she watches the vision silently, attentively, absorbing all that she could. Finally, she pulls back, leaving Elizabeth's mind as abruptly as she entered it. She remains silent and still for a moment, allowing her gaze to settle back into the here-and-now, so that is is again looking at Elizabeth, rather than through her. Then, without a word, she gives her hand a reassuring squeeze.]

[skjalf]

( when it is over, there is a small sense of relief that her mind is her own once again; and that she is no longer alone in having witnessed this horror. she finds comfort in sharing this with someone who might very well have witnessed far worse things in her long life. someone who will understand and not suggest she use this skill for their benefit. as others have, and which she has publicly, at least, considered.

elizabeth sighs softly, and shivers while squeezing galadriel's hand tightly. she is safe; but her sisters and young cousins are not. and she fears for them. )

[inafadingcrown]

Take the time you need and then ask me what you will. I will wait.

[skjalf]

( there are a million and one questions she might ask. but there is one which is far more pressing than the rest. and, after taking some time to think on it, she asks on the heels of a shaky breath: )

How certain is this to occur as I have seen it? Ilde did tell me that my Uncle fell in battle.

The books in my world's future speak of it.

[inafadingcrown]

[That is the question, isn't it? And one that's rather difficult to answer.]

What has been the case with your visions in the past? Have they all come to be?

[skjalf]

( biting the inside of her cheek, elizabeth nods. )

When I.. when I saw the execution of my maternal uncle and older brother, it happened. And then I heard the dirge upon the river.

Melusina's sorrow. Whenever a member of my family perishes, we hear her wails across the water.

[inafadingcrown]

[She frowns.]

My visions, I know with certainty, are what may be, for I have seen much that has not come to pass, or was averted. But if you have not- perhaps your visions are more certain. [It's not what Elizabeth will want to hear, she knows, but she will not hide her thoughts.]

[skjalf]

I.. I see. ( she glances away, biting her lower lip. )

What would you propose I do, in that case? There will be none left to protect either myself or my sisters.

( she does not believe that her mother has any vested interest in anything other than her own desires at this point. )

[inafadingcrown]

I propose that you become your own protector- and protector of your sisters.

[skjalf]

Is such a thing permissible for a human woman in your realm, Your Grace? In mine, it is the province of men.

( she is intrigued, though, by the idea. )

[inafadingcrown]

I will admit, I know less than I aught of the customs of human realms; Lórien has been somewhat isolated in recent years, I fear.

[She pauses to think.] I suppose that depends entirely on what means you mean to use for your protection. Do we speak now of weapons, politics, or wit?

[skjalf]

The latter two moreso than the former. But all three, really. For a woman who excels in any or all of these is feared and looked down upon by men.

History in my land has done a great disservice to many remarkable women in the process.

[inafadingcrown]

[A chuckle] Oh, your people would despise me even before they learned of my gifts.

As for the humans of Middle Earth, I know that Númenor-that-was had queens as well as kings. And my granddaughter is set to marry the King of Gondor; she has been raised to wield all three.

[skjalf]

Sadly, I think that you are correct. Which is utter foolishness, but very few of us rail against the notion. The Church has been in supreme power of Europe at least since the fall of the Roman Empire.

But there have been some who have. ( she tilts her head, interested as well as wistful. )

Do you know that i envy her a little bit? I would so very much prefer to learn how to do all three; and I am learning the art of fighting with various weapons already.

I would not be a pretty bauble for a man to use for decoration. ( though she believes she has found one who would not, anyway. )

The truth is that I admire you very much. You are strong, but you are able to be gentle most times, as well. That is also how I would be.

[inafadingcrown]

It seems to me that you have begun to learn more than you realize. [This little discussion here- on what would and wouldn't be permitted and why- it's a start. That last sentence, though- that's higher praise than all the songs composed in her honor. She bows her head for a moment, smiling.]

Kindness is its own strength. Others will attempt to tell you otherwise. They will call it a weakness. But force is easy to wield. It is simple and seductive. To show mercy and forbearance when you have every reason to do otherwise- on occasion, when you desire to do otherwise- that is true strength.

[skjalf]

If I have, it is because I have a wonderful example to follow and encouragement to do so. I hope that I am changing for the better, Your Grace. ( she is able to manage a tiny smile in return, as she reaches for her hands to squeeze gently with her own. )

All my life, they have; and to my father before me. But you are right, just as he was. Forgiveness is harder to grant than a swift death. Ah..

( she nods. ) I agree. Might I tell you something? I take no pride in it, and regret having done it. But after the death of my brother Edward, my Mother cursed whoever gave the order for his murder. And she had my aid for it. We were bitter and angry, but I am rarely so vengeful as my Mother. It does not sit well with me.

Because we cursed the murderer's firstborn son to die. Do you know that according to a friend of mine, that I will marry the suspected murderer should I return home? He and I would have a son first. That son, an innocent, died. This is why I loathe and fear this power I have so often.

( she sets her jaw, sitting straighter as the shame she feels for her crime is apparent on her face. ) And why I am resolved to be other than how my mother is.

[inafadingcrown]

I do not know if even I could have shown restraint when faced with the murder of my child or of my brother.

[She's an elf, after all, not a saint, and even she has her limits. Indeed, the greatest sin Galadriel sees here is that they targeted the murderer's child and not the murderer himself. But she'll keep those thoughts to herself, just reaching up to trace Elizabeth's face with her fingers.] Thank you, for entrusting me with this. It is easy to see that this weighs heavily upon you.

[skjalf]

None sought justice for his death. So we cursed the murderer's line to die out as we thought ours had. It was wrong, I know it.

The fault lies with the murderer and his mother. There is no excuse. And I have condemned my own child to die. I will never be free of that sin. He will be an innocent.

( she won't cry again. if she hadn't already, she would, however. she would never knowingly murder her own child. ever. no matter who had fathered him.

elizabeth's grip upon galadriel's hands tightens further, as she releases a shaky exhale of air. )

It does. It will never cease to. Thank you for hearing it. Do you think ill of me now?

[inafadingcrown]

[Galadriel does quiet for a moment, giving Elizabeth's hands a comforting squeeze.]

You know that I am a kinslayer- of the blood upon my hands. Do you think ill of me? [She shakes her head] It is not so simple as that. You are more, much more, than your sins.

[skjalf]

No! ( the word is blurted out in automatic and vehement reply to her question. of

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Never. But I must wonder what that says of me, that I would harm someone's child rather than the person who had harmed a child of my family, grief-stricken or no. Children are innocent, no matter the deeds of their parents.

It was more than simply wrong.

[inafadingcrown]

It was. [Galadriel won't argue with that. It's a rather horrifying thing to have done. Still, there's no real judgement in her tone, as if she's offering a neutral observation.]

Yet you are far from the first to have lashed out in anger and in pain. You wished your tormentor to suffer as you had suffered. It does not excuse what you have done- [She pauses to stroke Elizabeth's hair again, this time leaning forward to kiss forehead too.] -but neither need it define you.

[skjalf]

I know not if any amount of repenting I do would wipe the sin clean in the eyes of God. ( she can't atone for it. especially if that child will not ever exist. now that she knows? well. she won't be having any sons with henry tudor.

elizabeth nods, though her expression remains troubled as her brow furrows. ) But that is my mother's way. Not mine. I would not be thus.

( she closes her eyes, leaning subtly into galadriel's gentle touch. )

You are right. I will never have that child with this man, knowing of him now what I do. It does not make it any better, perhaps.

But somehow it eases me a little.

[inafadingcrown]

If I have eased your mind at all, then I am glad. [This is something that she can relate to, in a way, something that she's thought a great deal about- sin and repentance and how to move forward.]

[skjalf]

You have, Your Grace. It will be a long road, but I will walk it to its end without faltering. ( what else can she do? she will not become mired in the past like her mother.

no. the only way to move is forward. )

I thank you.