ataraxion | [video]

[ The camera is met with an angry-looking Kate, one angle of her jaw flexing as teeth clench. Her forearms are folded on the tabletop in front of her and she leans her weight onto them. The way she launches right in gives the impression she's been holding back this bad mood for a while before giving in. ]

Okay, so first of all, whoever stole my bow at the jump: bring it back. It's a cheap piece of crap anyway and it's not like we have arrows laying around but it's the only one I have here and there aren't any more in the armory and it's not exactly an inconspicuous weapon so what are you even going to do with it without me finding you?? Seriously, just bring it back before you damage it somehow and I promise I won't hit you with it no matter how tempted I am.

And speaking of people around here being total assholes [ Because whatever, she's started now and trying to make her no-hitting promise sincere just has the frustration shunting off into another topic, ], is someone turning people into animals seriously allowed now? That's just a thing we're cool with, going to let that slide on by, no brig time involved? [ She's not generally a very animated speaker but her hands twist off the table into the air into a 'seriously?' gesture. ] FYI never annoy this Gold guy because I guess he can just turn you into a cat if he feels like it and nobody will ever do anything. If I disappear after posting this be on the look-out for new pets wandering around or something. On second thought maybe that'd be a nice change from this place's bullshit for a while. Gold, if you're watching, just make it a dog or a bird or something, alright? Cool.

[ It's hard to make a dramatic exit on a touch-screen device but she pushes the STOP button as abruptly as she can anyway. Hawkeye out. Nope, wait, spoke too soon. It starts up again after a second just long enough for her to shout: ]

And bring me back my god damn bow!

[ Okay, now it's done. ]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

What happened?

i'm going to assume you don't give a shit about the part that doesn't involve magic, so it's just what I said: this guy named Gold turned a friend of mine and another guy into cats for a week

Good day, ma'am. My name is Miles Edgeworth; I work with the Security team.

I fear that this is the first time any of us have heard of the incident in question. I will not waste your time with repeating that old source of frustration for us - that we cannot do anything about incidents that go unreported - and instead simply ask that you give more details.

I did try and find your bow first.

[ 'Accio Kate's bow'. Nothin' happened.

Meanwhile cats, really, don't laugh Severus DON'T LAUGH ]

Any lasting damage?

Really? Thanks.

[ It's probably for the best her surprise is muted by the medium; it's not exactly flattering. ]

No, they're fine. Just the principle of the thing.

[ He wouldn't be surprised at her surprise; everyone is always surprised when he is or attempts to be helpful despite that BEING ALL HE EVER DOES merlin h christ you people ]

Perhaps you ought to report the theft to security along with the transfiguration assault. Prolonged transfiguration can cause issues due to the disturbing effects it may have on the mind, but it's usually exasperating things like 'cravings for ear scratches and milk'.

Really? I'm surprised to hear that since it seemed like quite a few people were aware of it. I was out on recon when it was going on and I don't want to throw anyone undeserving under the bus here, but SEC should at least be aware that this guy is using his magic like that.

Then allow me to languish momentarily in embarrassment and return to the central point: we cannot do anything that is unreported. Are the individuals in question still under the effects of this forced shape-shifting?

[ But he's such a jerrrrrrkkkk!! ]

I hadn't noticed any catlike tendencies but I'll keep an eye out. Or I guess I would if he weren't still in his pod right now. Maybe next month. Not sure whether to say "hopefully" or not, here. Out of curiosity, what'd you try with the bow? If I'm going to complain about magic I guess I could stand to learn something about it.

They didn't want SEC dealing with it.

[And now she's getting called out on a public feed like SEC are the incompetents here, thanks Derek.]

No, someone convinced him to change them back after about a week, I was told. They're both fine as far as I know I'm just not a fan of rogue magic-users.

[ Good is not nice, Kate!! ]

If you notice anything strange, I can always take a look if they're receptive to the idea. A simple summoning spell. 'Kate's bow', for the record. There are many reasons it may not have worked, though the two most likely are that the ship's interference has decided it's not valid, or that it's behind a closed door somewhere.

Edited (grammar) 2014-06-09 21:52 (UTC)

Understood. Please come into the SEC offices to discuss this matter further. I have no force to compel you to do this, but I would also beg that you remove the part of your broadcast taunting the individual in question; I should not like to see you suffer the same fate.

You know I guess that doesn't actually surprise me much now you've said it. Idiots.

You'd have better luck talking to the people actually involved. I'm just the messenger, apparently. And I appreciate the concern. [ But no, not enough to actually do that. ]

Edited (format) 2014-06-09 21:57 (UTC)

Understood, ma'am, but I would like to know whom to contact regarding this matter without their private affairs being spread across the network for all to see. Please; it will take but a moment. Moreover, we can discuss the matter of your bow while you are in.

[ Well!! ]

I'll let you know, if he comes back. And not working through doors definitely seems like a problem. I wonder how picky it is about ownership? I didn't ever buy that bow, it just was in my locker when I got here and obviously someone else has it now. Maybe it isn't mine for the purposes of magic?

It is entirely possible that's the case, also. At home it would have been acceptably descriptive, but the way magic works here can be unpredictable. If it is any comfort, it is also entirely possible that whomever nicked it was recently gifted with the sight of a bow floating through the air and attempting to escape a room.

At least you got a name.
Wouldn't even confirm to me that someone did it to him.
"I'm handling it."

Maybe it even whacked into them on its way to the door or something. Thanks, Severus.

Aidan told me all about it and I stupidly assumed they'd at least have told SEC something. Boys.

Pity your weapon is without opposable thumbs to open doors. Good luck sorting it all.

Edited (why can't i type today) 2014-06-09 22:15 (UTC)

They won't do an official report.

I don't suppose you do that sort of upgrade?

And thanks. I think all I've done is pissed SEC off now, which is awesome. Do you know this Gold guy at all? Is he from your world?

Of course not. God forbid we actually be able to deal with any issues rather than simply standing by. I'm getting damned tired of us taking the blame just because others have issues.

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