[text, anonymous]

[jurisimpudent]

One's memories of home begin to fade. One remembers certain things: the sound of the ocean, and the nighttime city, and a sky that isn't formed from sheet metal. One remembers, perhaps, the path one took to get home. One might remember the tune of one's favorite song. But the finer details slip away.

You know this place far better. The ship may be a mystery; it may shift without logic or reason; yet by this point is easier to grasp than our homes. We know the number of paces to get to side of the room to the other. We know the feeling of waking up from the Jump. We can't even hear the engines any longer because we know the sound too well. We can't remember the faces of our parents or our siblings, but we can summon the taste of those protein packs without any effort.

Is that why we continue on? Do we want to get back there? Do we want to see the sky again, walk the rooms of the homes we chose instead of the home we were forced to? Some might say yes, but there will be no real pleasure to it; when we wake up, if we wake up, it will be like any other day. Do we want to return to the good works we left behind? That's a fallacy, though, because there's evidence enough that everything continued on without us, uninterrupted. Time either froze, or time never missed us at all. Things progress as though we were there.

When I go back, I will turn into someone despicable. I've learned that from others. I'll forget everything I learned here, and I will bloody my hands. I will become a wretched man. And as soon as I arrive there, as soon as we're freed, that's where my life will begin again.

I've spent a long time trying to determine what unites us all. Perhaps it's a single, defining character trait: we're all brought here because we are irrational survivors. Because in spite of the fact that there is nothing for us here save dreary suffering, and in spite of the fact that whether we return home or not all things will be the same, we continue on. Against reason, against logic, we continue to struggle - for the sake of the memories slipping away from us, or for the sake of some absurd misplaced sense of duty, or for the sake of simple habit.

So. Why do you keep on?

Comments

[text/not anon]

[redheaded_rock]

I'm naive. I want to make a difference wherever I go. I'm here. I'm going to try.

[priceoffreedom]

How do you know you'll forget everything you've learned here?

text » not anon

[dopples]

I would have been able to answer that a couple jumps ago. Now I'm not so sure.

I guess... I guess because there's nothing else I can do. If I don't keep going, then I'll have let down the people I love, whether they're home or here. I won't do that. Not again. Not anymore.

text.

[faithlessly]

[ dean's almost ready to bet money over who's behind this wall of text. if only money was actually worth anything. ]

so did those who are sent home lose their irrational survivor card along the way or something

text; anonymous

[peckish4action]

How long have you been here, anyway?

non-anon text;

[trusted]

all these worlds and possibilities, and you really believe the only option you get in yours is to turn into someone despicable? bull. you don't know what you'll be, but chances are you'll get a choice.

we all keep on for the same reason, i figure. because we've got something left to do.

text

[fullmoon]

Maybe it matters. If we don't precisely remember, we might still retain something, like muscle memory. It could still affect the condition of our souls.

I could buy into your irrational survivor theory, though, either way.

[nightblogs]

omg
tl-frking-dr

text;

[doggedly]

i can definitely hear the engines

text ; anonymous

[treasonista]

Do you believe the future - your future - is set in so much stone? Do those who know you then believe you cannot change?

text/not anon;

[skjalf]

I find no suffering in being here; to the contrary, returning home would be to condemn myself to such a fate.

I will be made to wed a regicide, traitor to a King ordained by God thrice over. I will live in fear for all the rest of my days, and I will give life to a boy who will grow to be a monstrous man. My country may be better served if I remain here until the time of my death.