video; locked *from* Biggs (everyone else can see it) | backdated to day after jump

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[The feed opens to Luke's face, streaked, red, and blotchy. He's obviously been crying and he attempted to clean up, but his efforts weren't quite good enough to hide it. Around him is the quiet privacy of his room where he's been hiding.]

I need help.

I need advice.

Er--... I don't even know what I need exactly. I just-- I need to talk to somebody.

[He pauses to take a deep breath and gather his thoughts, running a hand through his hair.]

My best friend woke up from a pod for the first time yesterday. He doesn't know it yet but in the time I come from he's dead. He was killed in a battle. I had to lie to him a bit and--... I don't know what to do now.

He's probably going to find out eventually and I don't think it's right to keep hiding it from him, either. If I know he'll find out sooner or later I'd want it to be from me, you know? Not-- not from someone who might not be as careful about it, or--

I just... I don't know. Then sometimes I think that maybe it'd be better if he never finds out. Maybe he never has to know. He can spend his time here without having to worry about his future because I don't even know what that would--

[Luke decides to not go any further with that thought tangent. Imagining his friend becoming an empty shell and living out the rest of his time on the ship like that isn't something Luke wants to spend any more time thinking about.

He gathers himself, sniffs, and sits up straighter, pushing his shaggy hair out of his eyes. He wants to go about this as objectively as possible, considering only Biggs' feelings on the matter, but it's difficult to near impossible to keep his own feelings in check.]

Anyway, I want to hear from someone who's been in the same spot. Would you want to know? Or would you rather never find out? And then from the other side of things, have you ever had to talk to someone about this kind of thing? Let me know... if you can. Thanks.

Comments

[Perma-Video]

[whenimdone]

[She doesn't know him, but that doesn't mean she can't empathize with his words or situation. That she can't imagine how horrible it would be to be in his shoes right now. She's lost people in bad situations, to battle, to vampires and demons and evil. She tries to imagine if Kendra arrived on board, or Jenny or Anya. Merrick. Any of the potentials who'd died on their way to Sunnydale, or after they've arrived. She remembers the look on the girls faces when they'd found out that Eve was dead, had been dead the entire time 'she'd' been with them, the horror and knowledge of what was waiting for them.

And then she remembers Cassie. Cassie who'd come into her office full of the knowledge that she was going to die. And god, Buffy'd tried to hard to save her, struggled and fought and screamed in the face of that prediction. And then she'd found out that all that effort- even with all that effort, she couldn't save her. And never once had Cassie blamed Buffy, or anyone else.

And then she remembers herself. So young and innocent still, back then. 'Giles, I'm sixteen years old, I don't wanna die.' And she'd raged, and screamed and tried to run. And then she'd taken her destiny hand in hand and walked into it with her head held high.

So, as she clicks on the video, that's what Buffy keeps in mind. The girl (girls, really) who'd known her death was coming and accepted it, handled the fear and the pain and pushed on.]

When I was sixteen years old, I found out that I was going to die at the hands of a big bad, and I found out in the worst possible way. Two people I trusted and cared about, people I looked up to, knew and they were hiding it from me, and I walked in on them talking about it behind my back.

['Tomorrow night Buffy will face the Master, and she will die.' 'Were you even gonna tell me?' 'I was hoping that I wouldn't have to. That there was... some way around it.']

I don't know how I would have handled it if they'd just told me, instead of keeping it a secret. Maybe it would have been easier, maybe not. But I do know that it hurt when I found out. It was scary, to be told that I was going to die when I was only sixteen, but it hurt more that they hadn't told me- that they weren't planning on telling me. It felt like they'd betrayed me, and I freaked out and tried to run away. [She laughs softly, her lips quirking into a hint of a self-deprecating smile.] I didn't get far before I had to pull myself together and face my fate. But when I did, I did it with the knowledge that if I died, I was going to die doing the right thing, and I was going to take the other guy with me.

[bailedontheempire]

I've been on both sides of the matter. I tried to shield Padme from what was to come, until circumstances changed my priorities.

[Circumstances. You and Leia.]

I'm not sure whether it's better or worse to know about Alderaan. But I suspect it would have hung over things. A lot of people seem... uncomfortable until I tell them I already know.

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[Luke sits quietly and listens to this young woman's story. Truthfully, it's pretty convincing in the direction of tell-him-right-freaking-now. Still, of course, he has some questions. And, perhaps, he's still not quite willing to admit that just telling Biggs might be the right way to go. It's a painful option to think about.]

Maybe they thought you'd be more successful if they didn't tell you. Some people might give up hope entirely if they knew they were going to die anyway.

[He doesn't think Biggs is that type but it's not entirely impossible.]

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[Luke's been surprised at how well Bail has handled not only the knowledge of his own death but also the destruction of Alderaan. It's comforting to witness such strength and dignity in the face of knowing what's to come.

Luke nods slowly in understanding.]

You know, Biggs would probably say something like that. He's one of the most... self-loving people I know but at the same time he never hesitates to put others first. I don't know how he manages it. And I can just about guarantee he'd want me to tell him just so that I don't have to suffer anymore, but that's just it. I don't want what's best for me, I want what's best for him.

[He laughs defeatedly, easily spotting the irony of the situation.]

private to Luke.

[thebreakingwave]

I've been on both sides and, personally, I'd want to know. Maybe he can avoid what's coming, maybe not.

[Harry has some rather staunch opinions about prophesy and fate.]

Then again, when I've spoken with people about what's coming in my world, I've gotten all sorts of reactions. Glad to know, to have time to plan, to maybe change it, all the way down to cursing me out and splitting my lip.

What I'd do is tell him that you're from later along the timeline and offer to let him know. If he wants to know, tell him, if not, well, maybe tell him anyway. I'd resent it if someone didn't want to know.

[whenimdone]

I won't lie, sometimes that happens. [She pauses, and then it's the memory of the Potentials that pushes her forward this time.] I was fighting a war, at home. The bad guys were targeting young girls, trying to kill them all off, and they came to me for protection. They were terrified, because unless we managed to pull off a miracle, they were going to die. And yeah, some of them gave up. We were at war, and people die in war, whether you like it or not. But when it got bad, when they gave up and thought it was hopeless, we just had to find motivation for them. Which- easier said than done, I know, but-

[She shrugs, slightly. She can't tell him what to do, but she definitely thinks he should tell his friend. Otherwise-]

So I guess the question comes down to what type of person your friend is, and what kind of person you are. Do you think you can keep it a secret from him? Do you think he can handle it? Do you think he'll melt down, or do you think he'd rather be kept in the dark? Or is he going to wonder what you're keeping from him?

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[longestnose]

Tell him the truth. He deserves to know it, as painful as it can be.

[He smiles, a bit of sadness in his eyes.]

Take it from someone who is dead.

text; anon

[wellthatsimpractical]

I may be acting a little hypocritical when I say you should tell him, but my situation is a little more complicated, I'm afraid.

Regardless, from one in the position of your friend right now, I would want to know. At least with knowing, you can start to try to understand why.

private to Harry

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[Thus far, Harry has offered the most useful advice of anyone. Deep down Luke's known what everyone else has been telling him. It's not fair to keep this secret from Biggs, especially when there's such a good chance that he'll find out on his own anyway.

But Harry's given him a very helpful tool for when he's actually having this conversation with Biggs. He'd been wishing that he could tell Biggs, ask him whether or not he would have wanted to know, then rewind time and do things the way Biggs would have wanted. But of course Luke can't do that. Well, this might be the next best thing.]

That's actually incredibly helpful. [Luke taps his chin with one finger, looking slightly embarrassed.] Why didn't I think of that?

You, uh... you make an awful lot of sense.

[And Luke really doesn't know where to go from there because Harry's answer was just that succinct.]

private.

[thebreakingwave]

I've had a bit of time to think about it and how I'd handle it if I had the chance again.

[Not to mention more people from his world to practice on. He's concerned that one day someone from his future will appear, but that's a bridge to cross when he comes to it.]

Also, if he gets angry about it, or sad, or whatever, it might help to remind him that you're his friend and that you're not trying to hurt him, but what kind of friend would you be if you knew and didn't tell him?

Private

[inafadingcrown]

I am in much the same position and, truthfully, I still have not found a solution to my satisfaction.

My friend is aware that I am from her future and I have been fortunate enough that she has not yet pressed me to know what will be. I do not know what I will say if she does.

[the_other_eight]

You should tell him.

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[Luke exchanges the sad look with the man on his comm device screen. He had no idea there were so many other people on this ship who have also died.

He nods solemnly.]

I think you're right. [After a deep breath and another few seconds to think.] Yeah. Biggs would want to know.

I just... don't know how to go about it.

How did you find out?

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[last_ofthe_jedi]

Well then I guess that makes this easy. He would already know why. His situation is pretty straight-forward, fortunately.

I'm sorry, by the way, for whatever you went through.

private

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[Luke regards the woman sympathetically.]

Sounds like we're in the same situation, then. If it helps, the advice I've gotten so far is to just go ahead and tell them. It's ultimately better than hiding things.

[He shrugs.] But then you know your situation best.

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[Luke nods solemnly.]

Yeah. I know.

[He doesn't sound too happy about it, though.]

I'm just dreading that conversation.

text; permanon

[wellthatsimpractical]

Thank you. I made my choices and I don't regret any of them.

But I also understand how much harder it can be for the person left behind as well.

[the_other_eight]

[She winces]

I wish I could help you.

private video.

[allbloodyhail]

Don't tell him. Not unless you have to.

video.

[onetouch]

[ ned fidgets as the picture focuses, death is by far his least favorite subject. but it's very near and dear to him and he's used to thinking about it all the same. even used to discussing it, at least in some capacity, with people he trusts. and luke skywalker, uh duh, is immediately slot into that category. they say you should never meet your heroes, but after he had been to the city he knew that was bullshit. he had met comic book heroes he grew up reading as well as ones he'd never heard of, and it had all been - for lack of a better term - magical. but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to give luke the most honest and heartfelt response he can. ]

I-I don't know, if it were me... if I'd want to know. But I do know that you need to cherish this time you have with him, and. And if telling him will hinder that enjoyment then--

You should trust yourself to do what you think is best.

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[chaineddog]

Depends how you think they would handle the news.

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[About halfway through her speech Luke begins to look uncomfortable. The mentions of war and the inevitability of death are striking home in a way that's making him not want to listen anymore. Normally he can handle this sort of thing but it's different thing entirely when it involves someone that's so close to you.

He's quiet and he looks down at his hands, not wanting to accept that what Buffy's saying is absolutely true. He knows it is, but accepting it is difficult.

Finally, he nods in reluctant agreement.]

You're right.

[He tries to think of something else to say but just admitting that Buffy's right is hard enough. If she has nothing else to say he's probably going to wrap up this conversation because he has a lot to think about now.]

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[Wow, useful tool for the conversation itself AND and way to buffer any negative reactions to said conversation? Harry, you're on a roll. Luke just stares at him, somewhat awestruck.]

Have you ever considered becoming a psychiatrist?

[last_ofthe_jedi]

That's exactly my worry. Not necessarily for myself, but that Biggs is going to make it about me.

[last_ofthe_jedi]

[A forced half-smile.]

Thanks. I appreciate it anyway.