Cave Johnson (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
cave_johnson) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
ataraxion2012-02-14 06:58 pm
cave_johnson) wrote in ataraxion2012-02-14 06:58 pm
Entry tags:
02 test [Audio]
Cave Johnson here.
Welcome, newcomers and memory challenged individuals who may or may not recall if they've ever been here before. Seems we'll be getting a new batch of you every so often and in which case it's important to note you can refer to my pre-recorded messages anytime you need a re-introduction. Just push some buttons on that device you've received until you hear the sound of my voice.
In short, welcome to space. Space is fraught with perilous danger at every turn, and as such, recent space developments include reports of some kind of wild animal on the loose attacking people at random and feeding on their flesh. Don't know what it is! I'm bettin' on some manner of space vampire or space werewolf.
If by chance it is a space vampire or space werewolf and you notice yourself turning, don't panic, and please assemble what little is left of your morality and drag yourself into Medbay for immediate testing, or flag down the nearest Science personnel you see. [Cave gives a muted cough.] Chances are we'll have to fuse garlic into your skin or transfuse all the blood in your body withAdamantium liquid silver, in which case I'd advise not standing near or touching anything that conducts electricity.
Speaking of which, my personal assistant Wheatley has gone missing. Either he's lost or turned in which case do both me and you a favor and drag him to Medbay. Ginger kid, freckles, glasses, a little over five-foot, British accent, kinda' scrawny and lacks personal hygiene. Very important he's returned to me, ideally in one piece. He's been wanting to get himself back into a robot body, so multiple pieces should do just as good, but ideally in one piece.
Wily (or anyone else bored and interested in building a robot bodyhorror for science) why don't you check out these blue prints I've been working on [which in actuality is more like an 80's looking hodgepodge of the two] and tell me what you think of them. Fantastic, right? I think the kid'll like them.
And if not and you can hear this Wheatley, I'm out of pain pills again. [Again with the cough--this time a bit less muted. Not for lack of trying, Cave kind of sounds like crap.]
I would really appreciate some.
Cave Johnson, we're done here.
Welcome, newcomers and memory challenged individuals who may or may not recall if they've ever been here before. Seems we'll be getting a new batch of you every so often and in which case it's important to note you can refer to my pre-recorded messages anytime you need a re-introduction. Just push some buttons on that device you've received until you hear the sound of my voice.
In short, welcome to space. Space is fraught with perilous danger at every turn, and as such, recent space developments include reports of some kind of wild animal on the loose attacking people at random and feeding on their flesh. Don't know what it is! I'm bettin' on some manner of space vampire or space werewolf.
If by chance it is a space vampire or space werewolf and you notice yourself turning, don't panic, and please assemble what little is left of your morality and drag yourself into Medbay for immediate testing, or flag down the nearest Science personnel you see. [Cave gives a muted cough.] Chances are we'll have to fuse garlic into your skin or transfuse all the blood in your body with
Speaking of which, my personal assistant Wheatley has gone missing. Either he's lost or turned in which case do both me and you a favor and drag him to Medbay. Ginger kid, freckles, glasses, a little over five-foot, British accent, kinda' scrawny and lacks personal hygiene. Very important he's returned to me, ideally in one piece. He's been wanting to get himself back into a robot body, so multiple pieces should do just as good, but ideally in one piece.
Wily (or anyone else bored and interested in building a robot body
And if not and you can hear this Wheatley, I'm out of pain pills again. [Again with the cough--this time a bit less muted. Not for lack of trying, Cave kind of sounds like crap.]
I would really appreciate some.
Cave Johnson, we're done here.
no subject
THE LOGO
look see she even tugs her tank top out a little to emphasize this fact okay.]
no subject
That's his product right there.]
That's the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device. No doubt you're familiar with how it works.
[His eyes depart from the screen for a moment to look in his surroundings. The Tranquility's environment as a whole doesn't seem too portal-surface friendly. Yes you can practically hear the gears in his head spinning.]
Why don't you give it a whirl test subject?
no subject
never really was a need. no turrets to avoid, no puzzles to solve. she was just carrying it around as a security measure.
the video feed shifts a little as she puts it down. there's the sound of the Portal Device firing somewhere....and it sounds like it totally failed.
she tries again but yeah...
the feed returns to her and she shakes her head. SHE ACTUALLY LOOKS PRETTY DISAPPOINTED what if she needed her gun. it doesn't work.]
no subject
Doesn't work, does it?
Your problem is the amount of portal-conductive surface area available--it just isn't here. You know what else isn't here? Moon rocks. Not inside anyway. Not yet.
Until then, we need to find some new surface areas to test out if we want to make some quantum space hole science happen.
no subject
idk.
anyway she lowers the device below camera (she has it propped up on a table or something now who knows) and examines it a bit as he continues to talk. it's weird.....having him talk about things that are actually relevant.
actually talking to her and not her as a general test subject.
there's a shrug and a nod. maybe she'll try shooting at random white walls. maybe that'll do something. but she still doesn't want to be subject to testing ugh.]