video;

[2leftfeet]

[It doesn't take Shepard long to take to the network. Closed ship communication isn't exactly a new concept to her and while there's a whole lot of questions that spring to her mind, she's eager to get one thing sorted out first.]

To whoever thought it was a good idea to break into my locker and take all my things: it wasn't.

[The woman on the video feed, wearing an ill-fitting borrowed sweater, may have a cheerful edge to her voice but it's clearly a front - belied by her furrowed brow and how her mouth falls into a sharp, severe line between words. As soon as Shepard had realized that everyone else seemed to have things left to them in their lockers while hers had been suspiciously empty of pretty much anything beyond her comm device, she'd jumped to the only logical conclusion: someone had stolen her shit.]

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume it was an accident. If you have my armor or tags or anything with the name Shepard on it-- [She doesn't even know what else could've been there, but there had to have been something.] --just put it back where you found it by 1300 hours and we'll call it even.

[See? Perfectly reasonable of her. None of this makes any sense to her, but let no one say that Commander Shepard of the Normandy can't roll with the punches and put on a nice face despite it all.]

If I find you with it after that, I'll throw you out the nearest airlock.

[Or not. After a moment she continues, only slightly awkwardly. Man can't survive on threats and false accusations alone after all.] As a side note: if anyone has a spare change of clothes they'd be willing to part with, let me know.

Comments

[passe]

Of course we do. I watched the moon landing, I'm not a complete recluse. [ see also: hasn't paid any mind to space things since then. ]

But space travel on this scale simply isn't done; the Devil's the only reasonable explanation for any of this.

[2leftfeet]

Uh huh. [So make that a 'no' then.]

I take it you're pretty familiar with the "Devil's" [can you hear those air quotes?] work then?

[passe]

Intimately. [ as in personally, but his language is a bit archaic. ] I've been trapped in his dreams before; none so abstract as this, however—

[ except his theory is slowly crumbling in the face of a growing number of people treating him like a moron for mentioning the devil, and the realization catches him up short. ]

You aren't?

[2leftfeet]

[Sounds like a personal problem, man.]

I don't make a habit of hanging out with the Devil, no. God either.

[SHE PREFERS KILLING THEM.]

[passe]

[ well then why the crap would the devil want to trap you in a hallucination. WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS PUNCHING HOLES IN PLOT LINES, ABBY!!! ]

Surely you must have met him at least once.

[2leftfeet]

[NEVER]

If I did, he didn't introduce himself. [That sure is a general lack of sincerity there.] Isn't this all a little complex for a shared hallucination? You'd think if it was something in our heads, the people who didn't know jack about space travel [COUGH] would imagine themselves somewhere else for the sake of believability.

[Seems counter productive to put everyone in a hallucination that's so wrong that they automatically want to escape from it.]

[passe]

[ ............... fair point. the previous hallucinations had been idyllic, and they'd easily left them as soon as they'd become aware of them.

how about an abrupt change of topic instead of accepting any of that, yes. ]

Have you considered the possibility that your locker was empty to begin with.

[2leftfeet]

Does that happen often? [It's barely a question, any sincere worry about the possibility well fortified under the sarcasm.]

[passe]

You'd be the first that I've heard of. [ which makes it a very strong theory, obviously. ]

But the ship is keen on petty jokes. I'd blame it before I blamed the passengers.

[2leftfeet]

The "ship" is? Is it a sentient shared hallucination now?

[passe]

Fine. The ship's technology sometimes summons items from other dimensions that are ironic by sheer coincidence.

[ he will cut you. also how is the 'scientific' explanation any less ridiculous. ]

[2leftfeet]

[Look buddy, she's just trying to get a firm grasp on the situation. Sometimes that means some additional questioning when the person you're talking to was just going on about the Devil.]

Is there a possibility my things were delayed? That they might get "summoned" after our next jump?

[passe]

[ not going on ty. he's just trying to give you fair warning. ]

It's possible. The lockers tend to grant gifts as they see fit. [ well..... ] "Gifts" in the very loose definition of the term.

[2leftfeet]

[Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't--]

What's that supposed to mean?

[passe]

Body parts. Various barbaric and offensive objects. I suppose there are some on-board who might be happy to receive them, but for the most part— loose definition of the term.

[2leftfeet]

Ah. [As in 'well that's fucked up'.] I'll keep my fingers crossed for no spare limbs or mystery meat then.

[passe]

I didn't get your name.

[ ABRUPT. ~*~manners~*~. ]

[2leftfeet]

[Luckily Shepard's used to Bioware's dialogue tree abrupt course changes during conversation.]

Shepard. Yours?

we can wrap unless u have prESSING QUESTIONS

[passe]

Hal Yorke.

[ "it's been a pleasure" would be pushing it, and he doesn't want to lie, ok. ]