text; anonymous

[thebreakingwave]

If wishes were horses, you'd all believe me when I said this was a 'hypothetical' scenario and I wouldn't need to post this anonymously.

From a young age, I was raised to be used in war. Knowingly or otherwise, I was trained to be the right sort of soldier; eager to fight, to support a just cause, and, if needs be, to die for that cause.

I did all of that and my war is over.

But now, I'm here, and at a loss for what to do with myself. I can fill my hours well enough, but that's all it is - passing the time.

I know that many of you are warriors in your homelands and I'd like to know how you've adapted to this place or to any time when you're not being used to fight.

Thank you.

Comments

[anonymous text]

[ryuuzaki]

[Only the idea of being raised as an instrument attracts L's attention. He had been, but he had wanted to be; it wasn't much good if you wanted something else. He hadn't. He would have lost many things if he had changed his mind, but even so, his motivation would have been impossible to maintain without the real drive that supported it. For him, it was nature as much as nurture.]

People in your situation often become mercenaries, unless they've seen enough of war. I'm not sure we haven't been forced into something like that here.

There isn't anything you enjoy doing?

[Apparently not, but it's worth making the other person consider it.]

anon text; forever

[thebreakingwave]

There are things I like, but most of them aren't really possible here.

And, I don't know if liking something is really enough?

forever and always

[ryuuzaki]

How so?

[He has his own ideas, but he would rather not make an assumption in this situation. There's no point.]

[thebreakingwave]

Say I like rugby. It's a fun sport. I enjoy playing it. I might even like to read about it in the papers.

But it's just a hobby.

[ryuuzaki]

Not a calling, chosen or not, if I'm understanding you correctly? Entertaining, but not absorbing.

voice;

[makalaure]

[ Maglor's right hand is stiff and scarred, and it is therefore much easier for him to resort to voice than to text. It eliminates the anonymity on his end but he already has a bad enough reputation among those who already know him - what will answering questions openly do to harm that?

So he speaks, and his tone is somewhat wry. ]

I will let you know when and if I adapt. I daresay it will take some time to adjust, however, for all of us who find that our wars are over.

anon text; forever

[thebreakingwave]

Thank you. It's also good to know that I'm not the only one in this mess.

voice forever~~

[makalaure]

It is quite a mess, isn't it? You spend so much time hoping that it will all be over and you'll have peace again, but then when it arrives it leaves you at a loss for what to do next.... particularly if you did not expect to survive.

[thebreakingwave]

I like to think that I can learn to do something new with myself. Something more constructive, maybe.

[makalaure]

Creation instead of destruction... I like that. I am sure you will find something. I throw myself into music. I think art of various forms can be very helpful in channeling energy and emotions. Perhaps you might find something that way.

not here;

[unapparent]

[ but she has suspicions that this is you, Mr. Potter, and she hopes someone offers constructive advice.

:( ]

also not here;

[thebreakingwave]

[Provided he gets good advice, he'll talk with her about it eventually.]

[text]

[circumitus]

been here a long time. fought wars even longer.
truth is, i haven't adapted. i don't believe i ever will.

anon text; forever

[thebreakingwave]

Once a soldier always a soldier?

[circumitus]

yes.
apologies if that is not the answer you wanted. it is only my experience and the experience of others that i have learned from. but there is truth to the saying, you can never go home again.

[thebreakingwave]

I'd rather have a truth I don't want than an answer I do, but that's not true.

[circumitus]

good to take off the rose-colored glasses while you're ahead.

i suppose you were a child soldier then? [Based on what she's seen from stalking reading other conversations.]

voice;

[therangerking]

You were trained as a soldier, aye, but wherefore did you?

text; anon

[thebreakingwave]

Why did I what, exactly?

[therangerking]

Even in a land torn by long years of war, each soldier fights of their own accord and reason, stranger. [ Says the King of the country of 600 years of war. ] 'Tis not merely the following of orders.

What is - or, perhaps, was - yours?

[thebreakingwave]

When I was a boy, I fought because I was told I had to do it, then, because no one else would, and in the end, because it was the necessary thing.

text;

[51stcentury]

[Jack's not usually one for quiet contemplation, but the nature of this post compels him to answer as such.]

I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that it's an easy adjustment, because it's not. You've got to want to make the change yourself, otherwise you'll be miserable. But no one person is ever only a soldier or only a scholar, I can tell you that much. If you want to keep going, you learn to adapt.

[thebreakingwave]

I don't mind if it's hard work. I don't think I'd trust it if it was easy.

If I get back to my homeworld, whatever I learn here won't do me much good there. I've a job to do.

But here, at least there's more of a chance. I know that I'm in the minority for liking this place, but for me, it's not bad at all.

[51stcentury]

If you ever get back to your home world you're not gonna remember anything from your stay here anyway, from what I hear. May as well make it count while you can.

Believe me, I understand preferring to stay here. I'm not exactly in a rush to get back home myself, for all the shit this place throws at us.

[thebreakingwave]

I know it sounds foolish, but I just can't accept that we don't remember what happens here. That's worse than anything this place could throw at us.