video; netherlands is too annoyed to bother with counting

[handelaar]

[The second level of the Gardens is in the background and Netherlands? Might as well be the personification of so done with this shit instead, right now, and when he speaks his voice is tight, not tired.]

There's another goddamned dinosaur here.

[His lips thin, and the next part of the rant is way off-script but like he cares. So done.]

The Gardens aren't the ship's fucking playground. They grow food. Make oxygen. Filter the water. Air, and shit. It does not have to house all of your goddamned pets, or be your living room, or test area, or vacation, or - whatever the hell you think it is. It's a pain in the ass to take care of. Without half of you treating it like it's your right to take advantage of and then leave for the department to clean up. The department isn't big. There's four levels and kilometers of produce to take care of. We'd be too fucking overworked even if you assholes didn't tear up the place whenever you fucking felt like it.

[HUFF. He scowls and crosses his arms, and yeah, he's going to keep right on with the telling the entire ship how he really feels, in vividly pissy detail.]

Stop treating the gardens like they're yours. Because you all suck at owning shit. [Well - a flicker, unsure.] Most of you, I mean.

[Yep and then he's back to business.]

If it doesn't stop, I'm finding a way to lock out anyone who isn't in the department.

Comments

video

[elvenking]

I have meant to ask you about deer droppings. He produces quite many of them and they are excellent for the soil. I have been collecting them, if you would like them.

[Totally calm. What, he's not moving out of the gardens.]

video

[handelaar]

[T, are you really fucking with him over the network. Actual valid question. He's not sure if he's being messed with or not, so he tilts his head and squints, scowl on his face.]

So why didn't you ask. Before.

voice

[idkmybffbloodwing]

Should prob'ly let you know, then, I've got cider goin' up on the fourth floor of the gardens. So, if you or anyone who works for you comes across a buncha jugs, don't mess with 'em.

voice

[handelaar]

Write it down somewhere. Need it on the record. Talk to -

[Well, shit. Josias can't talk.]

Meet me up there, then.

text;

[stimulations]

Perhaps we should work out some kind of recruitment drive, before we start locking out our unofficial helpers.

text;

[handelaar]

We

Video

[invis]

Where should the dinosaurs be kept?

voice; he doesn't know you, twerp

[handelaar]

Out.

[Yep that's it that's the tag.]

video;

[coffeeking]

[oh hey netherlands, fuck you. see icon.]

video;

[handelaar]

[....grudgingly:]

Yours is okay. I think.

[He hefts up Lodewijk who is sleeping and completely unharmed. No dino bites.]

voice;

[therangerking]

[ He usually uses video. Now he's using voice. Welp. ]

My apologies, Nederlands.

[ Softly. A little stilted, though still sincere. ]

voice;

[handelaar]

Ah.

[VERY ELOQUENT THERE, NED.]

Why, um. What's - up.

video;

[tumbleweeds]

[ Congratulations Ned, Jaye looks like you've just kicked her puppy. ]

What about mine?

[ Her animals, that is. ]

video;

[handelaar]

[A quiet, resigned sigh.]

What about your what, Jaye.

text.

[ironsights]

[ ah. ]

Need any help?

text.

[handelaar]

No

[Like five minutes later:]

The jump sucked

video;

[sweetmotherofgod]

Hey.

[Yes, that's it. At least it's a mildly concerned hey?]

video;

[handelaar]

What.

[call him out or don't, he's not in the mood to care]

video;

[cargojet]

You know I care about the good work you guys do, but you should be careful about how far you go down the other route. The gardens is where the chapel is, it's where some people walk their dogs, where some people live. Keeps a lot of people from literally breaking. Surely it's big enough to handle that. But if people use it to that extent then they have to sign on and pull their weight, put up fences to keep the animals - and uh, dinosaurs - off the food, make sure they don't damn well set fire to things. I'd have called them irresponsible thugs if I didn't know better.

Maybe encouraging them to help is better than driving the whole lot of them out. Triple your yield that way. And if there's anything I can do...

I got something to discuss with you on a similar note, but if it's better that I wait till you're in a better mood, we'll do that.

video;

[handelaar]

[He stays impassive until Nathan utters the phrase triple your yield, and then he - doesn't laugh, but there's a bit of amusement, and wanting, before he retreats to the safety of buiness.]

Tomorrow, then.

[video] I'm so sorry

[savethebullshit]

Yeah, sure. Some people suck at keeping things going smooth around here. But you can't just lock everybody outta the gardens.

If you could do shit like that I'd lock everybody who wasn't SEC outta the hallways and then we'd have half the problems we do.

[voice] no never be I love them they're horrible

[handelaar]

[IGNORING THAT SECOND BIT]

I can try.

Text

[toomuchtenacity]

[Someone comes regularly to tend the potatoes. And really likes the garden.]

You're going to kick us all out because some people are idiots?

[Good luck with that.]

VOICE, Very Pointedly Voice.

[handelaar]

Sign up. Again.

[And then she can't get kicked out.
Yes he plays really dirty.]

[jilt]

Mind your temper, dearest.

Internet is still out hope you like phone tags

[handelaar]

My temper was fine, schatje.

[and then she showed up]

[video]

[circumitus]

...But I live here.

[BRO YOU CAN'T LOCK ME OUT OF MY HOUSE. Camp. Whatever.]

[video]

[handelaar]

You don't help.

video

[walksonrooftops]

I can't join the department, but if you need help cleaning up... I'm in the gardens a lot.

[And if he could lend a hand by turning catnap-in-the-trees time into work time, then that's what he'll do.

Kira wasn't exactly lush but there are few cats who don't know to respect what grows around them, and that means the series of disasters in the gardens lately are so very Not Okay.]

video

[handelaar]

I don't - [sigh] - I know. You, uh. It's good. To have someone on Security who likes the Gardens. Y'know. Patrol.

video

[okayokay]

You guys take care of the plants?

[Color her interested]

voice, also, I'm sorry for him he is queen bitch

[handelaar]

No. We try to make sure nothing fucking destroys them. And then harvest them. They grow fine on their own. Usually.

The system here is - it's good. Really good.

voice

[testgasm]

Another dinosaur? Are you--please tell me you're joking.

video because he hates you right now wheats and words are hard

[handelaar]

[DOES THIS PISSY FACE LOOK LIKE IT'S JOKING.]

[tailcrook]

[He knows he doesn't own the place (though there is a tree or two he's fond of - ) but hearing it's getting this bad in there has his tail in a twist.]

What could I do, Netherlands?

[His favorite places may have less traffic, though that doesn't mean he'd let the rest of the garden suffer more without asking.]

[handelaar]

[his tail in a twist that was awful.

Unfortunately Ned does not have access to terribad meta jokes. Instead he twists his mouth in an attempt to keep himself from saying that Konoe should just join the department. Putting pressure on Konoe? Bad. Bad for a lot of reasons.]

Should do what y'want.

[andblockbuster]

Rough jump, Ned? [You seem angrier than usual, bro.]

[handelaar]

[impotent anger!!!! Ironically very effective at creating actual, potent anger as opposed to the usual annoyance he carries around. But Topher already knows that so he's not even going to mention it.]

Prob'ly. Guess you don't know what the hell happened, then. If it's brain shit, or not.