ataraxion | video; step three

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video; step three

[It seems ridiculous that she'd want to have something be on video when she looks the way she does, but so it goes. As it stands, you're greeted at an unusually early hour by a woman with mussed hair all wrapped up in her blanket with red eyes and a frown. She speaks shakily, obviously a bit bothered by whatever is going on.

And oddly enough, it has nothing to do with the strange occurrences going on on the ship. No, it's a more mundane thing.]

I shouldn't have the capacity for that, but... I think I had a dream. Not a good one. I woke up like this and my pillow was wet and my chest hurt and I'm completely disturbed right now.

This isn't supposed to happen. A moment used to feel like an eternity to me, but now I sleep and everything goes by so quickly. This time it was terrible. I feel terrible.

[She's all alone, and she hates being alone. She's used to a million people needing her every day.

Pathetically:]

Help.

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Everyone died because of me. [Oh, well, okay, there go the tears again.]

[He waves his hands defensively.]

Hey, come on, don't cry! It was just a dream, wasn't it?

[SNIIIIIFF, she's kind of pathetic.]

If it had really happened, I'd never forgive myself.

[He smiles, hoping to look encouraging.]

That just means you're a normal person. And it didn't really happen, so you're in the clear. Nightmares are nothin' to get worried over.

I'm not normal. I'm not supposed to be. [SNIFF.] The concept of being normal, while interesting, is not that suitable for me.

...But I suppose I shouldn't worry.

...You're not? You seem pretty normal to me.

[Maybe a bit of a crybaby, but that's not too strange.]

[It was a really, really, really bad dream, okay.]

I'm not. I'm a--well, I'm an AI. Formerly. It's complicated, honestly.

[It's thanks to Wheatley that he has any idea what that is, otherwise he'd be completely baffled. He nods.]

Yeah, I probably wouldn't understand. But, uh, does that mean you don't usually have dreams like that?

[That'd explain why she sounded kind of surprised in her initial message.]

We don't dream. We're always working, always active when we can be. When we aren't in storage, at least.

Storage? Wait, they shut you guys away? That sounds about as bad as nightmares.

Oh, I was stored for years. My planet was destroyed and my beloved people stored and protected me until such time as they needed me again.

Years? But what did you do? If you don't sleep or dream, were you awake all that time?

I simply... wasn't.

Like... you don't remember any of it?

Not at all. I was, then I wasn't, and then I was again. It's terrifying to be put in storage, but I was... you know.

[Old.]

Uh... no, I don't. That sounds like it'd be scary no matter what.

Well, each of us have our time and place, don't we?

[He's not quite sure what she means by that, either, and wonders if he's just slow.]

The way I see it, your time and place are wherever and whenever you happen to be.

...Or I guess in the case of this place, where you should be to take care of your responsibilities. Is that more what you mean?

[She's vague, and also a liiiiiittle bit off. Please pardon the confusion she causes.

But she hums thoughtfully.]

A time to be, a time to not be. A time to function and one to sit and wait. Such is the glamorous life of an AI people actually care about. Hence, of course, why I am like unto a goddess.

You all seem to be more about seizing the day, as it were. Making your own time and place. I wonder if that's even feasible for me.

[Like a goddess? He'd been wondering if AI were anything like homonculi, but Ennis certainly wasn't treated like a goddess. And he'd bet Christopher and his strange friends weren't either.]

I don't know anything about AI or goddesses, but of course you can make your own time and place. Better than waitin' around on somebody else to tell you what to do.

My "life" is a careful balance of both. I have to meet my function--odd, not having one, now--and independently do so. I'm terribly listless now, but you didn't hear that. I don't want him to find out.

Do you suppose that's part of why I had such a nasty dream?

[There are a lot of questions he wants to ask, but he ignores them to focus on hers.]

You said everybody died because of you? ...I guess maybe that'd explain it. And you do make it sound like you're under a lotta pressure. Er--you were. Unless whoever "he" is is actually here too?

Oh! I don't want my bodyguard to know I'm like this. He'd probably be grumpy. Fortunately, I think he's asleep.

But no, no one died. Not in reality. I saved them all, you see. My people.

Oh. Right.

[He's wondering how she wound up with a bodyguard, but having someone like that is probably useful in a place like this.

When she says that she saved her people, he smiles.]

Hey, that sounds like a good thing! So you've got nothin' to get worked up over, right?

[...Good point. It wasn't real.]

It felt very real, you know. Helplessness. Guilt. Things you don't particularly process as an AI.