ataraxion | video, the first } gordon ramsay eat your heart out

[Spike puts his booted feet up on the table in the lounge, puffing idly on a cigarette. He kinda didn't care about the recirculated air thing given that he didn't actually need to breathe. Instead he's just going to get right to it, leaning over the feed.]

Can't believe what the kitchen here calls 'hot wings.' More like spicy mystery meat, if you ask me. Which you didn't, but I'm telling you anyway. Because there's not one bloody thing else to do up here. Can only walk round in circles so many times before you start getting dizzy. Not that I've done that...

[Instead he's been riding the elevators up and down for the better part of four hours.]

Say, anyone know how to play cribbage? I'd settle for a rollicking game of Operation, at this rate.

[He's away from the screen just a moment, coming back up without his cigarette.]

I know. Charades. Yeah? [He stands up and sets the device far enough away to catch his expression. First word. A person. He flaps his arms like wings then rearranges his brow to hang over his eyes. See what he's doing here... No, probably not. He puts his hands together like prayer and draws a halo over his head with smoke from his cigarette (that he quickly puts down again, off screen).

There's a pause, and then Spike rolls his eyes. He got bored of his own boredom-curing movement.] You know the guy. He's not really on security, is he?

[The video ends with a slightly melodic laugh and a hoo sound. As in, hoo boy, that's a knee-slapper.

You're welcome, Ataraxion.]

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Shouldn't you be listing off stupid shit he's done, then? Or...showing baby pictures or something?

[He laughs, ducking his head.] No baby pictures, but. There was actually this one time...

He turned into a wee little puppet. [And then the tides just roll in, he's actually crying he's laughing so hard. Guffawing, even.]

[She'd call bullshit...but no one sane laughs that much about a lie.

hm. She waits until he's at least only lightly sobbing in tears.]

How?

Some spell. He's better now, unfortunately.

No shit. You're not just playing with me.

[Getting a tiny bit defensive here. Because they're in space...but magic. Really.]

...No, luv, I'm not. It just happened not even a week ago. [For him anyway]

So you know a sea witch or something.

[Yeah. Totally going with the Disney classic 'Little Mermaid' logic on this one.]

A 'sea witch?' Uh. Know a few witches, yeah, but they didn't do this.

It's irrelevant, probably, being that I'm here now.

He turned into another animal. It had to be a witch.

Animal...? [He likes you yes he does.]

Toy. Whatever. I figured it had to be alive anyway.

Oh, he was alive alright. Well, undead. And muppetized.

So...a witch.

Sure, we'll go with that.

Bullshit. Don't tell half the story. Come on. You're here to piss him off, right? Spill.

It was a deal with the Devil sort of thing. Magic, but no witch. Just animated puppets sucking the life out of innocent kiddies.

Saturday morning cartoons about sums it up really.

So how'd you win?

The good guys always win.

[It was a simple, clean statement, as sardonic as it also was. Spike didn't actually believe it, but even he found hope to be a comfy throw pillow in times of distress.]

[See this? This is the single most unimpressed face.]

If you believe that, then everyone who ever lost musta deserved it. Is that it?

If I believed that, I wouldn't be talking to you right now.

[Meaning he wouldn't be alive because he doesn't deserve it bluh bluh bluh he quickly moves on]

You don't believe everything you hear, do you?

'Course not. Most people are full of shit. I still get to tell them that, when they start spitting it out.

Yeah, well, not afraid to admit that I'm no exception.

Damn. I thought the accept mighta meant something.

Not usually, in my experience, luv.

Yeah, yeah. Teach me to let PBS lie about British accents meaning something.

(no subject)

allbloodyhail - 2013-08-07 20:06 (UTC) - Expand

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