ataraxion | [text] eridan's guide to barberism

ill make this as short as i can givven the sevverity a the situation as im comin to realize it
i spent most a this jump wwatchin all a you on my patrols an general non security wwanderins an i gotta say that some a you really need help

so basically if you need a haircut
an most a you do dont evven pretend that your owwn personal hack an slash jobs are doin you any favvors cos they most definitely arent an i havve pictures to prove it
contact me so i can actually make sure you dont look like a fuckin vvagabond
free a charge i just dont wwant the next time wwe run into homicidal pirates or alien hivve minds to be a stylistic disaster

the number is 001 » 018 so remember: if you feel like you look sloppy you probably do an that means you need a haircut

((OOC: this is real, this is happening, and im totally serious i will rp eridan cutting your characters hair if you want to do such a thing. alternatively you can just pretend eridan gave your character a decent cut at any point in time i dont know i just have wanted to do this for a while))

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

D'you do layers.

Edited (one day i won't forget the subject line jfc) 2013-07-25 04:24 (UTC)

I might not be as proficient as a professional, but I'm close enough that yeah, I can keep your hair layered.

[Maybe not quite as evenly, but hey, he's working with a limited knowledge here.]

Brill. May just take you up on that. Were you an alien hairdresser back home? Or I s'pose, a regular hairdresser, for you.

[UGH]

No, I wwasn't a professional or anythin'. Kinda beloww my status at the time. [He says it almost like he's being arrogant, but really, he just thinks he was kind of a loser back home and doesn't want to think about it, ever.] It wwas easier for me to cut my owwn hair, since I wwas out at sea - sorta - so I'm pretty fuckin' good nowwadays. I havve standards I meet, at least.

"I cut my own hair," he says, showing the lovely lads and ladies at home absolutely zero pictures of it.

[ cillian's voice is vaguely mocking. ]

All right, I'm comin' down to the first floor and if you fuck it up it'll be a warning to anyone else who thinks accepting random haircuts is a good idea.

[hell no you don't get to mock him. WITNESS HIS HAIR. maybe its not perfectly styled but for a guy who's running on like basically water mixed with a tablespoon of gel, he's doing pretty good. also look, well cut!!!! ...then again he's used to doing his own hair.]

There, you fuckin' happy? Considerin' I'vve been here since the first jump, I think I'm doin' pretty decently. There's a public wwashroom around here, so I don't get hair all ovver my cabin, howw's that?

Yeah, yeah, don't get your knickers in a twist, fishface. It'll do, I'll be down.

Mmhmm. [he proved his point as far as he's concerned; he's the motherfucking best at hair styling, ok???]

[Oh. Oh, that's.

Hmm.

That is a very good point. Delta's tried to keep his hair somewhat under control, and at least he's mastered shaving, but having someone else give him a haircut would help a lot. It might actually be even in the back that way.]

I believe I will take you up on your offer.

Good idea.

[Delta seems to bite back a little smile. His thoughts exactly.]

Where are you offering your services?

There's a public wwashroom dowwn on the first deck near my cabin, it's easier to use that than somewwhere wwithout a mirror.

Understood. I will be there shortly.

Yeah, all right, wworks for me.

[Not terribly long after, there's a tall, skinny young man who looks like he doesn't quite fit in his body and--sure enough--his hair looks even but as if it had been cut with a combat knife, and not very recently. At least he's shaved?]

Hello?

[The tone is tentative. Who is this mysterious barber? Is it really a psychopath who's going to slit his throat?]

[Psychopath is such a harsh word, and probably pretty inaccurate given that Eridan's totally turned over a non-genocidal leaf. So no, no psychopathic murderers - just your average gray-skinned teenage alien.]

Yeah? Oh. [That's all he's really got to say when he notices That Hair, pursing his lips before approaching.] Definitely made the right choice, comin' to get rid'a that mop.

[Delta does blink a few times - aliens aren't exactly good guys where he's from, but he's seen the kids like this around and they didn't seem particularly genocidal. Not comparatively, anyway.

Besides, he really does need a haircut. Delta nods.]

I will admit to a general unfamiliarity with a human body, so it is likely my haircuts have lacked a certain precision.

[It probably has something to do with the purple streak in his hair and the ugly ass bling on his fingers. He's too glam rock for the genocidal alien look.]

Oh, you're one'a those guys, huh? Wwell, that explains a lot. [Eridan's gaze is calculating as he wanders right on up to Delta, taking in the unencouraging attempt that's been made.] Hmph. Okay. Let's get this shit cleaned up an' off'a your neck or wwhatevver you wwant. An' just so you knoww I'm actually gonna attempt somethin' miraculous here, my name's Eridan.

[If he wasn't feeling so assured in his skills, he'd probably have avoided giving his name altogether, or given a fake one or something.]

[Delta nods and bits his lip, heading over to the nearest chair or stool so he can submit his head to some miraculous hair-undertakings.]

Thank you, Eridan. I do not have a particular style in mind, so I am willing to accept whichever cut you decide would look acceptable.

[Fashion: not something he has any knowledge of beyond the theoretical. Still, as long as he doesn't end up with a completely bald head, it should be an improvement. Right? Right.]

[text] eridan's guide to barberism

video

voice; because video from eridan is a privilege, okay, not a right

fine whatewer, experience this mutual voice; action

are you trying to start shit about my character's accent there?? im gonna cut ur hair so bad

HAHAHA oh no

[video]

[voice]

[voice] sorry im sorry i lost my tag list sob

video;

voice; what did you think you got special treatment

video; you wound me bro

voice; my intentions were to shoot an arrow through your heart

video; an unrivaled success

voice; I'M SORRY I LOST MY LIST OF TAGS im so sorry

action; SHUNS 5EVAR

action; IM SORRY

action; UH HUH

action;

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