ataraxion | video;

Um-- [ It comes out in sort of a croak, so he clears his throat before continuing. ]

I've been thinking-- We've been talking about... what's real, and what's not, whether or not anyone remembers anything when they get home. So, kind of similar, but is there any way people at home could know about what's happening on the ship? Or any way they could find out? I know we all kind of assume they can't, but if there's any possibility. Any possibility at all.

[ A frustrated pause-- he scrubs his hand through his hair. He knows the usual answers; no one remembers when they go home, and they go back right to the same time, so there's no way. He's just not sure whether that answer accounts for clairvoyance and how to ask without outright stating it. And that's the crux of the matter, really; that's what's been keeping him up at night and driving his mind to cover the same tracks again and again. ]

Don't... rule out "magic" or something like it, if something like that exists in your world. [ Close enough. ] This probably isn't the most important thing on anyone's mind right now, but I need to know. It's important to me. Thanks.

[ He reaches to shut the feed off-- and then draws back again, frowning slightly. ] Uh, one more thing-- if you have any use for a magnet, I've got one that's up for grabs. I'm in 014 » 124, come take it. I want to get rid of it.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Do you want an honest opinion, my dear?

yes

not really much point in asking to be lied to.

You'd be surprised. Some people would rather hear a pleasant lie instead of a harsh truth.

The answer's no by the way. Speaking from— at least partial experience I'm afraid.

well if you don't know you're being lied to, yeah.

is the answer still no if someone at home, say a psychologist who can recover repressed memories (don't know if that really works but bear with me ok), digs around inside your head?

Even when you know you're being lied to sometimes you can still want to hear it.

It technically— repressed memories are tricky to deal with without having to cross dimensions, first off. Secondly, more than likely. Like I said, they're tricky without the added complication of them being made in a different dimension, to recover something like this from say the person I was talking about and their brain would be an arduous task that likely would take years if it was even possible.

There's always a possibility for a lot of things. [ A beat. ] Whether or not it actually— is something that's happening is the real question.

And you mentioned magic and that can complicate things a little more than the original question.

[ He thinks about it. ] Yeah, that's... probably a better way to phrase it. Something that's happening now, or something that's going to happen in the future.

Are you familiar with magic?

Exactly. I mean— I don't think any of us remember but it gets weird when you think about how people leave and come back with memories on the ship.

Sort of. I'm not a practitioner myself, but I know a witch or two back home. And there's the ones here, obviously.

Right! [ A little excited; someone gets it. ] Yeah, see, that's what bothers me. If the memories are just... sitting there inside your head, waiting until you come back here, what's to say someone at home can't dig around in your head and find out about this? Someone like a witch, for example, if they've got that kind of magic.

Not even just a witch, telepaths could do it. Probably would be more inclined to actually.

And sometimes you've got the people who don't remember anything from the last time they came here, so do they have their memories in their head just buried deeply or did they never have the memories when they left in the first place?

Why are you trying to get rid of a magnet?

I just don't have a use for it. And I don't really feel like hanging onto it until I find one. [ On the off-chance he ever needs one, he can find another magnet-- one that isn't emblazoned with the name of the university housing the labs where he was trained-- for the job. ]

You want it?

[Simon nods. He has no idea why he's taking it. It's not like he needs a magnet either.]

Maybe I can at least keep it for you, just in case.

[ He cracks a faint smile at that. ]

You don't have to. Do whatever you want with it. I mean, how many uses is a fridge magnet going to have on this ship, anyway?

If you had enough of them, maybe you could make a pair of magnetic boots.

What, so you could walk on walls? You'd have to get a lot of them. Probably ones more powerful than this, this is just a lame regular fridge magnet.

[ He holds it up in front of his comm-- it's a slim rectangle, white on one side, printed with "Duke University" and a few emergency contact numbers in blue. ]

[Simon catches the name, the university famous enough that he's at least heard of it from across the pond.]

Did you go there?

No, no, I'm still in high school. Homeschooling, but high school. I, uh, live pretty close to there, though-- used to live, now, I guess-- and my tutor goes there.

Does it scare you? Being on board a spaceship.

[ Ordinarily, he'd brush it off with a lie, easily, but the way it's direct and unexpected catches him off-guard. And really, what's the harm in an honest answer? ]

Not really. Not anymore, I've been here a couple jumps. I mean, sure, I've been scared here, but you gotta control it, or else it'll control you.

Does it scare you? You don't look a lot older than me.

[Simon's smile starts, hesitates, and then finally spreads before he answers.]

No. I think it's exciting more than anything.

I'm Simon.

You still thinking about going home, huh?

When am I not? [ A half-smile. ]

More like I'm wondering what the point of anything up here is, if time at home isn't moving forward while we're here, and we all forget when we go home anyway. Like, is anyone at home ever going to know what happened up here?

Who knows what the point is? It's not like this place is ever gonna spell it out. Even if we keep asking, it won't tell us a damn thing.

[ Bitter much? Yeah, he doesn't like thinking about it in those terms. ]

[ Fake-patiently: ] That's why I'm asking people on the network, not asking the ship itself.

Look, obviously I don't know if I'm ever even getting home again, and obviously none of us know what the point is. But some people do go home and come back and there are people here who know about magic and special abilities and all I want to know right now is if anyone at home is ever going to know what happened here.

Huh. [ It's mostly noncommittal. ] Well, uh. I really think you're just thinking too hard about it. Does it matter if they do? Or if they don't?

Maybe they never notice you're really gone in the first place.

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video; late but whatever

video; neverrrrr

video; well fine!!

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