ataraxion | ( 15 ) video ✶ honey you could be my drug you could be my new prescription

[ jenna's hair is still wet from the customary post-jump four showers, all way too much of it piled in a knot on top of her head. it's almost a little odd to try and collect her thoughts enough for a post that used to be customary, and her smile flickers for a split second before she shakes her head and it returns, more determined. ]

Welcome, new freshman. [ she can't help huffing out a laugh at her own lame joke. ] Sorry, couldn't resist. More seriously, if we didn't skip another number sorry about the space kidnapping wave twenty one, but welcome to the Tranquility anyway. I'm sure there will be a lot of technical questions I can't answer at all, but the daily life thing is-- god help me, my normal by now so if any of you want to know about where the pool is, feel free to ask.

For anyone who wants to join in, there are dinners down on floor one. They're kind of a everybody pitches in deal, so it's work for food but trust me, after a little while here the work part isn't as bad because it has company attached. No screaming, no weapons, don't even think about starting a fight and no I don't care about the age-old household rivalry and honor right now about covers the basic rules.

[ she looks down, a little hesitant for the first moment. ]

Which brings me to part two: what to do if you don't can't survive on just traditional food. I know last month one of the other members of medical brought this up, but I wanted to add something-- I'm most experienced in dealing with the vampire side of things, but I understand coming forward isn't exactly ingrained for a lot of people. If you're not comfortable just yet and you need-- an advocate in medical, I guess, feel free to contact me.

[ a beat, and then she shakes her head and continues a little more briskly: ]

That's it, sorry again about the space kidnapping for the new kids.

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Then-- only kind of, I guess.

Hold on. My apartment is in the San Fernando Valley, and there is certainly nothing like that there.

Are you sure about that? You have kind of a... limited interest set. [ ragers could be happening right under your nose miles ]

[He briefly debates being affronted, decides not to be.]

I...suppose. But I'd notice people with...dog-fur purses.

[ she means law, it's a good thing. ]

Faux-fur. [ helpful clarifications. ]

The point stands.

I lived in a town almost literally crawling with vampires-- including Elena's boyfriend and Ric's best friend-- and I had no idea until they told me. Stranger things, Miles.

That...might be so, but do vampires not also try to hide their existence?

You'd think, right? But in retrospect I actually feel... stupid for not seeing it.

That's absurd. If there's one thing you oughtn't feel, it's stupid.

I didn't figure it out when one compelled me to stab myself. As much as I hate to admit it, stupid works.

[ katherine also added 'don't remember any of this' but why interrupt guilt with logic. ]

When one...Sorry - what?

--I hadn't mentioned that, had I?

You hadn't. What happened?

It-- [ she sighs. ] The whole thing is kind of heavy. You sure you want to ask right now? I can tell you later.

I would like to know now, please.

[ she sighs. ]

It's really not much more than I said. A vampire compelled-- it's... mind control, essentially-- me to prove a point to Elena, and I still had no idea they existed after it. I decided I was really clumsy.

[A moment of silence.]

When?

At home.

[ skipping over klaus doing the same on-ship, whole other talk. ]

It's okay, Miles. It was a long time ago.

[And, unhappily:]

You have defenses against that now, correct?

I do, yes.

[ most of the time. ]

Miles, it really is okay. I lived.

[Quietly:]

Just because you lived through something doesn't make it okay.

No, you're right-- but I'm okay. Things that already happened happened, you can't change them. I got through it, that's my takeaway.

[A pause, then, quietly:]

Right.

[ a beat. ]

That, and I'm stupid. That's the other takeaway.

[ she sighs. ]

Someday I'll nail this balanced adult thing. It's going to be great.

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( 15 ) video ✶ honey you could be my drug you could be my new prescription

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