ataraxion | ☩ ０１２．ＴＥＸＴ

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☩ ０１２．ＴＥＸＴ

Audentes fortuna iuvat.

Does fortune favors us, Tranquility?

Caesar himself was quite devoted to boldness and fortune; alea jacta est he said and the goddess of fortune favored him for many years.

in the end, she did not. it is a tricky thing, fortune and quite a riddle to guess.

[ that aside ]

An assistance is needed! For baking a cake to a friend whom I favor greatly and who, I decided, celebrates his birthday today.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ she smiles, covers her lips with two fingers as if to say I'll be a good girl and hear it all.' ]

On the shores of the sea, the Teleri built their ships. These ships were their...art, I suppose. Their magic, their heart's delight. Though they were at the brink of the Light of the Trees while the Trees shone, they loved the sea too much to dwell near the heart of Valinor.

You must understand--weapons were all but unknown in these early days. Fëanor made them first, and his people he armed as they marched to return over the sea, to Middle-earth to seek out Morgoth. The Teleri are kin to the Sindar who remained in Middle-earth. Their king was Olwë, whose daughter married Finarfin. But Fëanor's people had no ships. They came to the Teleri on the shores and asked to take their ships to Middle-earth, but the Teleri refused to give up those ships they held as dear as Fëanor loved his Silmarils. And they knew that Fëanor had some dark purpose, and could not have come with this purpose at the blessing of the Valar, who forbade them from returning to Middle-earth. And indeed, the Valar had admonished him, for he blamed them openly for his sorrows. They had said to him that should he choose to go into exile, he and those who went with him must be exiles indeed and not return.

[He hesitates, watching Lucrezia carefully. Murder won't phase her, he thinks, and no human can understand what the Kinslayings meant. But the First Kinslaying is only the beginning.]

Because they would not give their ships freely, Fëanor and those who followed him--his brothers among them, and their children, and others who believed Fëanor's lies that they were prisoners of the Valar--began a slaughter. They slew the Teleri on their own shores and took their ships, though the Teleri were innocent.

But there were not enough ships to carry all the Noldor to Middle-earth. Fëanor's followers and sons took the ships. Fingolfin, who had sworn to follow his brother in all things, now had no choice but to wait on the shores for his brother to send the ships back. But Fëanor betrayed him and those who followed his brothers, and burnt the ships when he reached Middle-earth. And so the remaining Noldor, exiled from the Undying Lands, had to travel far to the north and cross the sea over the great ice on foot. Much death came upon them, and so Fëanor had already caused death among two peoples, among them his own kin, for spite alone.

And the story is only begun, Oriel.

I can see the lesson.

[ once you humor spite there is no knowing of where the end would be; but isn't it the heart of politics? what is there between the families of Italy if not suspicion and spite? ]

Then guess my riddle. If one is living in a den of families of snakes and each one tries to bite the other - what can one do? There is loyalty only within these families of snakes not among them, yet they all live in the same pit and try to sting one another. If one snake manages to bite another, is it not reasonable for the family to take its vengeance? lest another snake would think of revealing its fangs at one of their own?

[He winds a lock of her hair around his fingers, toying with it gently.]

I know the world you speak of. I lived in it, though I knew it not at the time, for I was very young. We thought ourselves safe from it, so long as we remained outside the wars the Golodhrim--the Noldor, fought with Morgoth. But they came to us nonetheless, the sons of Fëanor, and they destroyed us. We were left without home or leader and fled to safer havens, only for them to come for us once again. I know the bite of the snakes, and the burn of their poison, though we were not snakes. And after the wars were done, we were ruled by the Noldor, by the kin of those who slaughtered our own, and still we were not snakes.

[He glances down at her.]

What would a Borgia have done?

Edited 2013-08-01 13:46 (UTC)

A Borgia would never forget. A Borgia would not forgive. They would be patient, grow stronger without showing true strength until the right moment. But when the moment comes - no one would doubt that angering a Borgia is a foolish deed.

A Borgia would become the thing that hurt them, the thing they resent and hate. Where is the victory in that?

Let them resent and hate; but if they fear us too then our victory is in that. there will always be another enemy in my world, power and ambition and greed moves it. Those who will try to set another set of rules might all perish.

And where is the use in surviving, if we are to be as much a curse to the world as our enemies? What right have I to live then, and what reason if I must hate myself as I hate them?

Then one must find the time to help others who are not their enemies to make certain there is something to live for. To help the poor or the children, to help our families.

While still being one's own enemy. To become like Fëanor's sons would not have brought back Doriath or Sirion or the lives lost there. If I cannot be merciful to my enemies, how can I be truly merciful at all? Is that not what mercy is?

Only God will show them mercy when the time for judgement shall come. And only God will tell if one is good or not, heaven or hell.

[ she frowns up at him. ]

You are a good king to be so kind; I worry for you. You have my heart and my love and I fear others shall not show you the same kindness.

They haven't. But that will not change who I am. [Not like she means, anyway.] That is my revenge, Oriel: I will render what they have done ineffectual. Their evil deeds will bear no fruit, and they themselves will be unimportant in the grander story. They will be remembered as villains who did no good, and my name will not be among theirs. I will protect what is mine, but I will take no other revenge than this.

[ she places another kiss on his cheek. ]

My brother Cesare thinks I am all goodness and sweetness. Yet I am not as forgiving nor as kind as you are. Will you accept me still?

Kind perhaps, but less forgiving than you believe. [He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.] Even my mercy may be born of spite. But we are not so different. I someone harmed my children, death would find them. Not for revenge, but for the safekeeping of others.

[And maybe revenge, a little.]

I do not have children but I know I would do the same.

[ she nods her head slowly. ]

I always thought love to be a dangerous thing. Lovely but dangerous, the more you love the more concerned you become.

[ she smiles. ]

This ship had proved so much.

[He rests his cheek against the top of her head.]

My father and I left the Golodhrim to live among our woodland kin. My father said he wished not to live among those who destroyed us, nor become them neither. But by then even the Golodhrim had become something different, and the sons of Fëanor were lost. Even Morgoth was chained beyond the world in the Outer Void, and in those days the only cause for ill will was that which we made ourselves. The resentment lived for so long that it estranged our nations even when a new Enemy arose. Doubtless it caused my father's death.

Love and joy are dangerous, but they are better, for while they take a chance, revenge is certain to cause suffering.

Love has left me little choice here.

[ it's an honest confession, she loves more people than she should, she loves more people than Cesare would have her loving for it puts her heart at a great risk. you must keep it close, sis, keep it safe. ]

I loved before I knew I did.

That is sometimes the case, I think. But I am happy you have found so much love here, and with one who will give you everything you need.

-- I am not speaking only of Robb Stark!

[ but she laughs because really, one day she has to tell them they are no longer a secret. ]

I know. [A soft smile.] Still it gives me joy to see you with him. He has far too many cares for one so young.

It is the burden of his crown.

[ more king than a man with most and Lucrezia steals the boy out of him and loves him for all three; boy, king, man. They are young the both of them and this should all have been easier than it is. ]

I would ease his worries if I could.

His crown and his kin. His sister's estrangement bring him great sorrow.

[Yes, he's guiding the conversation in this direction for a reason.]

The wild wolf-girl. I have seen her only once. Jon Snow told me of her once before, he is very fond of her. He had said she was different than her elder but I do not know if you have met Alayne.

[ she doesn't name her Sansa but she doesn't deny her being Robb's sister either nor does she speak of Jon Snow as anything but Robb's brother. ]

She was sweet and gentle, beautiful and amiable.

Quite her sister's opposite, then, for Arya is a troubled child. She runs quickest from those seeking to shape or control her, and Robb responds to her indiscipline by tightening his fist. This is all he knows to do, I think.

[ she frowns, already beginning to understand where this is going. ]

I much doubt Robb would be hard towards a sister that was all but lost to him.

☩ ０１２．ＴＥＸＴ

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