ataraxion | 005

[ John's dressed down for once, shirt missing and all. The Grim Reaper tattoo on his inner arm is visible, scythe and all, where most people's nanites are -- his are visible on the other arm. One hand is beneath his head and the other is holding the camera at a bit of an odd angle; he's laying down, apparently in bed. Despite that, he doesn't look like he's gotten a lot of sleep. ]

So. [ He starts, stops; clears his throat to make himself sound a little more awake. ] This place is hell, but we manage to relax sometimes. How do you all do it? [ There's a pause, considering, and he adds: ] Other than getting drunk.

[ That's not going to help him, considering he can't anymore. At the end of the day, what John needs is for nightmares of dead teammates and monsters in the dark to stop haunting him, of the dead on the ship that he could have (should have) been able to help. But for now... he'll take what he can get. Not that he necessarily wants everyone knowing he can't relax. ]

Call me curious, I guess. I would've bet on more nervous breakdowns.

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[ Blinks. The embarrassment doesn't seem very warranted. ]

Were you named after the Grim Reaper, then? [ Beat. ] There is no such creature in my world.

[ Despite the exterior persona he likes to try to maintain, John's quite the scientist. Not having thought of something like that is unacceptable. ]

Not sure there's really one in my world either, but the Grim Reaper [ he raises his arm, points at the tattoo ] is a personification of death. Last name's Grimm, so the guys called me "Reaper".

[ ........ What. ]

You were named after death? [ Pause. And he chuckles softly. ] Forgive me; I did not expect that.

[ He remembers the Rohirrim's cry in Helm's Deep. Death, death, death! ]

Yeah. [ Shrug. ] Part of the job, after all.

... I'm a Marine -- part of the military. [ Since, well, if Aragorn didn't recognize "Grim Reaper"... ]

You're a soldier. [ A clarification. Then- ]

I knew not that soldiers are harbingers of death. [ Though they certainly kill a lot of orcs.. ] Glory in battle they have, but are soldiers not protectors?

We're supposed to be. [ And protecting UAC property is still protecting, it's just... bullshit. ]

Seems like lately it's just a lot of cleaning up messes that people shouldn't have had to deal with in the first place.

[ Headtilt. ]

What do you mean?

[ There are a lot of things he could say. UAC controls the government, which means his job is to help them keep making money and eliminate groups standing in the way, even if they're standing in the way because the way UAC makes money is poisoning their loved ones and their land. He could say that his CO killed civilians just to protect information that should never see the light of day. He could say a lot of things.

But John just sighs, and says: ] A lot of times the person really giving the orders doesn't care about anything but the end result.

Then he should not have been the leader. [ Very firmly, though there's a sadness in Aragorn's eyes, for he is no innocent, and in his travels, he has met bad leaders.

Yet he still thinks that they should not lead. ]

Shouldn't. But they are, and so are a hundred people like them.

[ And John is reminded yet again that if he were home, it's likely that he'd be put under review, experimented on if they ever found out how he really survived Olduvai. And Sam...

He doesn't want to think about what they might do to his sister. ]

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