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001, text

hello. my name is geeorge sands and Im new to the tranquility. it would be lovely to make new friends! i am friends with mitchell and annie and also josh but i'll get lonely if I'm not able to meet new and fun people. i speak many languages and enjoy watching mooovies and the real hustle. I hope to meet everyone!

[Some nights ghosts sneak into your room when you're asleep and use your fingers to mash keys on your communicator to help you make friends. For George Sands, this was one such night.]

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Hello, George Sands.

[George squints at his communicator as he wakes up, because to him it looks like someone's just texted him out of the blue, and it's not Mitchell, Annie, or Josh, so he has no idea who it might be.]

Hello, who is this?

[ the doctor has an "oh, sorry, yes" sort of moment. it's probably polite to introduce himself in return. ]

I'm the Doctor.

[Oh

oh no

oooohhhhh nnnnooooooooooooooo

Assuming he isn't lying (and he might be lying) (because this might not really be the doctor) (and George might be mad besides, which would quite take the pressure off), the question becomes what the hell do you say to the Doctor

Right, question one:]

Right. And why are you texting me?

[But then he sends it and re-reads it it sounds hostile and no he can't be hostile to the Doctor - ]

[Oh, shit.

It isn't difficult to recognise the true author of this post. Especially that exclamation mark at the end. That is Annie "!" Sawyer in sum. And George is going to be very George about this, this will wreck the careful peace of floor 18 suite 81 through 83, and there will be lectures and lists and rules reestablished--

--and Mitchell is going to watch this all very, very carefully, because there's his name right beside George's and Annie's, and there are so many things that could go wrong here, there are people--vampires, werewolves--to watch out for--

Bottom line of this is: this is hilarious. Just like old times. He can just relax with that feeling, for a second, this is the way things ought to be. Except, y'know. Not in space.]

Hi, Annie.

[George squints down at his communicator a moment before he replies, because it was very odd for Mitchell to just...pop up here for no reason. But he's not going to not reply, because Mitchell and Annie are, evidently, an item, and George might be for it but if he has to hear Mitchell leaving Annie a flirtatious message he's going to bodily hurl himself from an airlock.]

You've got the wrong number, mate.

[Oh my god, Mitchell, this is not helpful, she is trying to make George socialize, don't give her up so easily!

This is a nervous, guilty giggle]

What are you talking about, Mitchell, this is George's post, not mine.

This is George's...

[It starts off normal if frantic. It ends ear-splitting.]

Oh - oh - oh - oh - oh my God. Oh my...Oh my God Annie oh my God Annie take this down! Take this - no this isn't allowed! This is not allowed!

Well I don't actually think it can be taken down.

Oh God. Oh, my God. I have been here a, a, a week, and I had a good week, Annie, I hardly had to talk to anyone, I just made meals and then went back and now I am going to be George-who-wants-friends-and-likes-mooooovies and oh my God!

Well, see, now you can have friends and possibly watch movies.

[Also it's Geeorge.]

Friends who, who I can bond with over a shared lack of spelling. Right. And a bloody love of exclamation marks. We can all sit around together, and watch movies, and say things like "me George" -

[And he looks, and - ]

Oh, my God, you didn't even spell my name right! At least tell me I can edit this, I'm going to -

There aren't that many exclamation marks, and honestly, the amount you're going on, you probably used more than are in that post.

[Silence on the editing thing, though.]

Two exclamation marks. Two. That is a two-to-five ratio of exclamations to sentences. Forty percent of those sentences were...I sound like I should be writing adverts for the Tesco.

Really you should blame your fingers for this one.

Edited 2013-06-14 19:49 (UTC)

My fingers!

[Aaaand the pitch is going up...]

You were the one who wrote this! The whole thing! Are we to blame my fingers for being too fat?

Actually your fingers wrote it.

[JUST SAYING.]

Have I?

Ooh, I have, sorry--I'm looking for Gee-orge Sands, exclamation mark! Any idea where he is? He sounds like the guy to meet while I'm just hangin' around here in space--

[The jokes born of this post will not die anytime soon. This is a bloody goldmine of jokes; these jokes will have joke babies and also be hilarious.]

Ah, no. It's Gee-orge's post, Annie, let's get it right. You've got t' call him by his proper name.

He really ought to be more cautious with how many e's he uses in his name.

My - my fingers did not write - I would not misspell my own name! All right, I'm going to be - to be drawing up a new list of rules -

How many this time?

[With growing horror.] Oh my God. Don't you start as well. If you start, I will - I'll - there will be consequences. And they'll be...consequential!

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