[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

Tranquility - the last transmission on the network was not a hoax. We have been boarded.

All non-combat personnel should keep to their quarters at the present moment. Further instructions will follow.

Note please that the boarders are able to hack all transmissions, including those which are highly encrypted. Do not discuss tactical information over the network. Do not discuss extraneous things. We do not know what will be of use to these brigands, and we need to deny them as much information as possible. Keep silent; keep vigilant; updates to come.

Comments

text;

[theshabbiestofmen]

Where are you? Do you require assistance?

text;

[jurisimpudent]

[At once:]

No. Stay inside.

voice

[brawled]

See? Now you're working with us here. That's what I like to see.

voice

[jurisimpudent]

[When he speaks again, his voice is icy cold.]

I am keeping civilians out of harm's way, sir. So that they're not in the crossfire when we bring you down, efficiently and brutally.

voice

[brawled]

You don't have to take it so personal, Miles, just doing my job here. You get that, right?

voice

[jurisimpudent]

Just doing your job?

[He bites that out savagely.]

Your job is stealing supplies and threatening innocent civilians. And if it came down to it, you would kill them, would you not?

voice

[brawled]

You just told me you'd do the same, my friend.

voice

[jurisimpudent]

First, I am not your friend. Second, I did not: we're going to take you alive. And third, there's a damned sight of difference between taking a life as an act of aggression and taking a life in self-defense.

voice

[brawled]

No, but right now I'm your best friend, because I'm the guy giving it to you straight. Everybody plays nice and we leave this thing feeling good about ourselves and our place in the world.

I don't draw unless you draw first. But if you come after us, I will defend my crew. Don't mistake me, man, I'd be happy for all of us to live. But I'll kill you all if you make me.

voice

[jurisimpudent]

You want to speak about friendship?

[There's an amused jeer in his voice.]

Let us speak about friendship. You've marked me, correct? Miles Edgeworth. You'll do well to remember that name for one central reason: I am the man you're going to want to surrender to. Because you will surrender, and not long from now, and when you do, you're going to want to do so to someone who will keep you alive.

My colleagues, you will understand, are not nearly so gentle as I am. My priority is the preservation of your life - because to me, you're not an inconvenience: you are a boon, because you are a source of information. So surrender to me, young man, and you can anticipate a longer life. If not, perhaps, a very comfortable one.

voice

[brawled]

...you practice that one much?

[ he's not going to do anything but act like somebody's big, dumb jock brother because he's sensing you won't like that at all, miles. ]

Was good. Impressive.

voice

[jurisimpudent]

I -

[And immediately, Edgeworth scowls.]

Right, I practiced it a lot. Wrote it ages ago in the event that we were boarded by pirates. Naturally. Of course I didn't practice it, you imbecile.

voice

[brawled]

Even more impressive. All right, let me explain something to you. I don't surrender. I fight, I win or I don't fight again. And since I'm still standing here, how do you think I've been doing on that one so far?

[ he would really love everybody to get out alive, but then again he will shoot everyone here in the head with eyes wide open and sleep just fine after if he has to. ]

voice

[jurisimpudent]

[Sardonically:]

Maybe you're new. It would explain a lot.

voice

[brawled]

Just rolled off the factory line, that's me.

[ nope. ]

voice

[jurisimpudent]

Well. With respect, sir, you're not going to have much choice in the matter. We can subdue you nonfatally - which we will.

voice

[brawled]

I told you, Miles. You draw on me and this is going to get mean.

voice

[jurisimpudent]

Edgeworth, not Miles. And I assure you, sir: I am the weakest of the ship's defenders, yet I alone could take you out.

The smartest thing you could do would be to turn around and leave right now. You're trying to take meat from a lions' den.

voice

[brawled]

Right. Hey, Miles? [ still good natured, but that lol troll is dropping because man, you people are making this harder than it should be, ] Don't try it. This is fun, you guys aren't in any danger right now. Make it less fun and it gets dangerous. I'm just talking facts.

voice

[jurisimpudent]

Right. The supplies you're stealing from us - we need those to survive, don't we?

voice

[brawled]

And we don't?

voice

[jurisimpudent]

I'm sure that a skilled, charming bunch like yourselves can find legitimate work.

voice

[brawled]

And I got those same good feelings about you.