ataraxion | 002 ⇏ video

[ when the feed comes on, the first thing you'll notice is a head of curly blonde hair, extremely messy, and a hand running through it. Annabeth's currently looking down at something, unable to look at the feed just yet. Probably in fear of not being able to keep her voice stable when she finally starts speaking. ]

If anyone has seen Percy Jackson, Luke Castellan or Wichita since the jump...can you just. Get them to contact me? Or come find me? Or tell me where you saw them? I'll have my device on me at all times, but for some reason I can't connect to Percy’s and Luke’s and I think it’s connecting to Wichita’s but she’s not answering and I don't know if it's just the ship or...

[ she trails off momentarily, needing that half a second to take a breath and drop her hand, lift her head to the feed. She looks exhausted, like she hasn't sleep in days (not since the jump) and a little on edge. Her eyes, normally a much lighter grey, have taken to something like a dark cloud. Like the chaos that comes with a thunder storm. Her jaw is set, determined, but there's something a little off about her. A little dark. ]

I also need to know if there is any way to know, for sure, when someone goes home, and isn't just lost on the ship. Not theories, but facts, if there is a way to check that kind of thing.

[ She swallows, hard, but continues – eyes never leaving the camera. ]

Also, I wanted to know what happens when you die. Here. On board. I'm not interested in ideas on the afterlife and all that [ she made the mistake already of asking people about their beliefs once before, not again ] but more so if you die, does your body remain here? And if you have more to do, back home, does that mean you never go back? Does your story just end, and your time both there and here is over?

I just…yeah.

[ there's a pause and then she nods, having said all she planned on saying, and she ends the feed. ]

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So there's still a chance.

[ The finality makes her want to push back, though. ]

But what about from the ship? I heard people get lost and come back from there all the time. Couldn't that happen?

No.

[ a long pause. ]

It can, yes. But they won't be the same people.

You're being contradictory.

[ And it's frustrating her. She just wants answers. ]

That's what I've heard. That they change, that the ship changes them. But no one will tell me how.

Did Wichita mention a friend to you? Someone who'd left and come back different. Started shoving her away, wouldn't give a straight answer.

[ there's a wealth of self-disgust in his voice. ]

No.

[ wichita doesn't tell me much of anything. But with Wichita still missing, Annabeth can't bring herself to be mad at her for that. Not until she knows she's safe and back. ]

Why?

Because I told her not to go out there. Told her--

[ he stops, swallows hard through a tight throat. ]

What comes back isn't what left, and I know because I've been there. Don't-- if whoever they are felt anything for you, it's better if they don't come back that way.

[ neal is a dramaqueen, news at eleven. ]

Who was it?

[ because annabeth is not going to comment on the 'if they felt anything' comment. she is not going to talk about percy's feelings for her, how she wouldn't care what the ship does to him as long as she can have him back. ]

You've been out there? And you've come back?

Complicated question, even more complicated answer.

[ he huffs out a short laugh, almost surprised. ]

I've gotten too used to being asked the opposite of that by complete strangers. I did, yes.

I'm not interested in the opposite.

[ there's a pause there, while she processes the information. ]

What happened to you, then? What changed?

Be careful what you wish for, up here.

[ neal pauses himself, struggling for some kind of answer. ]

I did. [ be straightforward? neal? almost literally never. ]

[ she could make a pass at that, a what's it going to do, kill me? but she doesn't. more concerned with actually getting an answer out of him. ]

How?

I paid for my passage back.

[ stubbornly vague, if only because the explanation isn't possible to deliver in words. ]

Everyone pays, and it's never going to be something they can live without.

[ his stubbornness is kind of pissing her off. ]

What did you pay with?

The things that mattered most.

[ straight answers, never. ]

[ see, at least with that annabeth can assume why he's being so cryptic. doesn't mean she's any less curious, but still. ]

Like?

You tell me what it would strip from you, I'll offer up mine.

[ no he won't, he's just banking on everyone keeping those things close. ]

[ she doesn't even pause to think. ]

It's already taken him.

If you think that's the worst Himself can do, it would be best you never find out you're wrong firsthand.

[ taking people is nothing-- the jumps do that. 'to the pain', yadda. ]

Or you could just tell me.

[ because this word game has gone on for long enough. ]

[ his laugh is more rueful than mocking. ]

I really couldn't.

Why not?

'Mine eyes have seen the glory'-- it loses something in translation.

[ like coherence and hard facts ]

Translation?

[ cause last she checked, that lyric was from the battle hymn of the republic. You know, an English hymn ]

From the way Himself showed me. Words-- don't quite do it justice.

[ which is easier than saying 'i literally can't talk about it and don't remember a good portion of it'. ]

So you- oh.

[ you hear those gears clicking away in there? someone finally understands. ]

You can't talk about it, can you?

[ well someone is suddenly much more interested ]

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