╰xx7╮[video]

[lacksgrace]

[ The video comes into focus on Bells, kicked back on his bed surrounded by a pile of clothes and a pair of old sneakers haphazardly balanced on the edge. He's slowly unfolding a piece of paper as he speaks. ]

Soooo, uh. Sometimes I wonder if whoever's in charge of this boat has a sick sense of humor. Don't get me wrong—most of the time, I just don't give a damn. But there's messed up shit on top of everything else we're dealing with. Then, we get to the jump and-- [ A scoff, he begins to read: ]

What is safe sex? [ Bells makes a face. ] It's the use of condoms and water-based lubricants as well as a range of other things you can do during sex to help reduce the risk of catching or passing sexually transmitted... Yeah, okay. This is the kind of junk that ends up in someone's locker?

Who actually reads these things and takes 'em seriously? I mean. Look. [ He oh-so-generously brings the pamphlet up to show this image before turning to this one. ]

If I was gonna pick up anything, it wouldn't be, uh, whatever this syphi-thing is. Besides, it's telling me where to get condoms, and I'm pretty sure there's no supermarket around here. Actually, I don't know what that is either. [ He pauses, leaning forward to dig through his stuff to withdraw a small colorful bottle. He shakes it back and forth, almost enticingly. ]

But I did get a few of these. This one's bubble gum. Whatever that is. I guess you can eat it? [ Bells pauses, trying not to laugh. ] Anyone wanna trade some stuff? I'll even give you this weird instruction manual for free.

Comments

video;

[showbizpanache]

[This. Face.]

Oh my god, must you?

[lacksgrace]

Must I what? I'm not doing anything.

[showbizpanache]

You're-- Oh god, never mind.

And by the way, they have those things in the medbay, you don't-- [Sigh.]

[deprecate]

[ bubblegum... ]

What d'you want for the lube.

[lacksgrace]

Depends. What've you got?

[deprecate]

Erm, my boyfriend's a tattoo artist and I do tech shite, so if you've a need of services instead of goods, I can provide.

[ a slightly sarcastic eyebrow. ]

Otherwise, erm, my worldly possessions aren't much to speak of. I've got a handful of jellybeans. Pack of smokes. Socks. Bible.

video.

[wigs]

Perhaps whatever left those items in your locker thought you needed to be more informed.

video.

[lacksgrace]

More informed? Look, lady. I know what I'm doing, and I'm always safe about it.

video.

[wigs]

Well, why else were they there, then? [A beat.] Though I wouldn't put it past whatever runs this ship to make such a distasteful joke.

video; 1/2

[showmance]

[ inappropriate, indecent, undignified, embarrassing.

ABORT ABORT ABORT ]

text;

[showmance]

Bells!!! You can't just show that stuff on the network!! There are children on board!!!

video;

[lacksgrace]

[ Why, Ms Berry. Too embarrassed to look him in the face? He just grins at her because he doesn't really get it. ]

But shouldn't everyone know about this sort of thing?

video.

[faithlessly]

[ snort. ]

Not surprised, you guys have a knack for bein' kinda clueless. [ someone is bunching all you angels, past and former, as being the same. ]

video.

[lacksgrace]

I'm not clueless. [ Why does everyone keep implying that???? ] You, uh. You wanna have some? I've got plenty.

video.

[faithlessly]

Could've fooled me. [ snorting again- except jfnd--

.......................he'll just. wave his hands!! ]

No, uh- I'm good, thanks. [ or something. ]

audio;

[tumbleweeds]

[ Just hysterical laughing. Oh god she needed this. ]

audio;

[lacksgrace]

What's so funny?

[ Okay, so he's sort of laughing himself. ]

[not here]

[redhotsummers]

[Nope he isn't touching this at all.]

[not here]

[lacksgrace]

[ BUT WHY NOT COME ON ALEX BUDDY. Life lessons. ]

audio;

[prophetize]

Ain't somethin' you gotta share with the rest of us.

audio;

[lacksgrace]

Says who? Everyone should know about it.

[text]

[seered]

Perhaps the ship thought you'd find it useful, or it's trying to tell you something.
Maybe it's just a strange, spaceship way of being helpful.
Think of the poor, deprived passengers who never receive anything from home.

[text]

[lacksgrace]

does that mean you

want some??

video;

[inspirited]

[okay so maybe she is laughing slightly] You know, it was probably meant as a joke.

video; HI CUTIE OMG

[lacksgrace]

You think so? [ He rubs at the back of his head. ] I was kinda assuming the same thing.