007 -- video;

[jilt]

[ irene's wearing her tweed suit, buttons opened at the collar, waistcoat undone. there's a large golden lab sitting beside her, glorying in the way irene's scratching behind his ears. ]

It seems Baron Vladimir Harkonnen has left us. A true shame. He may have been the only man aboard this ship who properly appreciated the opera, and it's always lovely, finding someone with whom one shares a common interest.

[ there's a pause. the dog's mouth opens, tongue lolling out. irene smiles at that, before addressing the device again. ]

I've been here a year, with this passing jump. More than I thought I would, when I last onsidered the matter. I'd had several suggestions as to what to do to celebrate, if celebrate is the word I should use. None of them are quite to my taste, though I'm not sure such a dubious milestone should go unappreciated.

[ she gives a quiet little hum of thought, then raises her shoulder in an uncharacteristic shrug. ]

But I digress. Tell me, is the owner of this fine animal aboard anywhere? I found him in my doorway, but I doubt he's the ship's way of congratulating me on my stay. Majestic though he is, I'd say the menagerie this ship's acquiring really doesn't need any new additions roaming loose.

Comments

[became]

If she and I don't just run away with him ourselves, it's a deal.

[suit]

El's and mine first. And I'm the one who has his leash so he doesn't run off. So—

[ fill in the blanks, neal. ]

[became]

A leash can be easily modified, Peter.

[suit]

Neal.

[became]

What? It can.

[suit]

I will never let you see him if you keep this up.

[ PETER THAT'S CRUEL. ]

[became]

He loves me, he'd never hold to the ruling.

[ LIAR THO ]

THE FUCK IS THAT ICON THO

[suit]

I'm his daddy, he'd hold to that ruling because he knew me and loved me long before he ever met you.

[ ALWAYS ARE A LIAR, NEAL. ]

UNICORNITUS

[became]

I'm more charming. And I feed him under the table.

I FORGOT YOU HAD IT OKAY AND IT STARTLED ME

[suit]

He doesn't care about charm and he has a plate at the table when you're not around.

I WILL NEVER DELETE IT!!!!!!!!! he is a unicorn

[became]

That's what you think, and he's a dog. Since when has that ever mattered when extra food's involved?

he's a sparkly unicorn who needs to stop daily the end

[suit]

I've had him for longer than I've— he grew up with me around not you. That's when it mattered. You're just the one with the hat and the shoes he has no desire to chew on because they're weird.

[became]

Or maybe he appreciates fashion, unlike his heathen owner.

[suit]

You just called El a heathen too, by that comment.

[ peter no. ]

[became]

Singular form is one. El's taste is impeccable, thank you kindly.

[suit]

You didn't specify originally. And since she is also his owner, it's up to interpretation.

[became]

Oh, please. Your ties, Peter-- they speak for themselves.

[suit]

I don't only by those ties for myself. Sometimes, she buys them as a present.

[became]

...you keep telling yourself that.

[ el buys them because they're awful and she wants to see if you'll ever notice peter, don't even play. ]

[suit]

[ don't burst his bubble. ]

And who's her husband? Remind me, Neal.

[ he will play all he wants because those are his ties and not everyone wants to imitate you, neal. ]

[became]

Who had to ask me what to get her for your anniversary our first week together?

[ g r i n ]

'Remind me, Peter'.

[suit]

[ a s s h o l e ]

And who's the one who's been married to her longer than they've been around you. And she hadn't left them yet?

[became]

Oh, you can't even try to defend against that one, Peter. The recently released con artist knew your wife's tastes better than you.

[ smug asshole, tyvm ]

[suit]

[ details. ]

Only because the recently released con artist shares a few more interests in common with my wife. I'm hanging up and barring you from saying hi to Satch for a day if you keep that up.

[became]

Idle threats.

[ HAUGHTY SNIFF ]