ataraxion | audio

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So, most 'a you already know that a few of us did some exploring of the deeper parts of the ship last month, and found a painting that seemed dead set on stalking us through the hallways. Jaye put up pictures of the thing if you missed that somehow. If anyone with chemistry skills has some free time, I've got a bottle here with some of the paint, or whatever it is, that I flaked off of one instance of the painting, since we thought it might be helpful to know what exactly a moving mural is made of. Lemme know if you're interested.

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Lemme guess, you don't like the idea of a couple well-armed an' capable people tryin' to figure things out so that those who ain't so combat-oriented don't have to go wandering in there.

[Snidely:]

Which I'm sure was your primary consideration. "How can we possibly save lives?" The first question you raised.

Not the first question, but one of 'em. The first question was "what can we do to get us all home safely?" There's a lot about this ship we don't know, and we're never gonna know any of it if we don't look for answers.

You wanna stop treating me like a criminal, Edgeworth? 'Cause I can name a few on this ship who are, and I'm not one of 'em.

[only due to the utter lack of legal structure on most planets he's been to, though, lbh]

[He scoffs loudly.]

So would-be murderers are...not criminals? Suddenly? My God, this is a revelation indeed.

Woudn't it be nice if we all came from perfect utopian societies where you could bring a man like Jack to trial an' have him justly prosecuted? A man who's responsible for the deaths of thousands of people, who piped alien ore right into his little girl's veins after chainin' her in a cell, just so he could have the key he needed to let loose a giant fire-breathing monster so he could better terrorize the planet?

Some of us are used to takin' matters into our own hands, because shit like that doesn't get to go unpunished.

[A pause, then:]

Oh, no, I see what it is. We kill him an' we rid you of the ability to charge him yourself an' be the big fuckin' hero. Edgeworth saves the day. I know your type.

[...Oof. A direct hit.]

It is - nothing more and nothing less than what I have told you, sir. Crimes committed at home are not prosecutable here, because there is no evidence, nothing. Nothing but the word of three - if you'll pardon me for being blunt - extremely shady individuals put up against one another. Each one clamoring for someone else's death.

So tell me - you say he's evil; he says you're evil. Shall we just execute all three of you and be done with it?

Of course not, 'cause crimes committed at home should be subject to the customs an' laws that exist at home. Hell, what if I'd been here before you, started my own security department, an' was from a place where pompous assholes were illegal an' to be executed on sight? That'd mean I could shoot you an' it'd be completely legal under my own code of laws.

What's a crime an' what's not, to you, isn't the same for everyone. Let us handle this our way, 'cause unlike you, we've seen the evidence firsthand.

Give me a moment to think about it. It's such a tempting proposition, after all. Stand back and let you slaughter someone with no interference...My God, it sounds completely ideal. Good lord, my job is suddenly so much easier now that I look the other way when blood is shed.

[Another scoff, even more venomous than before.]

The day the people here are unhappy with this security team, they'll depose us. And the day we start allowing vengeance-hungry maniacs to do as they will and go unpunished will be the day they're unhappy with us.

You kill that man, and you're a murderer, Mr. Mordecai, and we deal with you accordingly.

Heh. Wouldn't expect anything less from you.

But, you know, I get the feeling you weren't comin' in here to talk about law, originally. Unless exploring the ship's illegal, too.

No. Just stupid.

If I went by myself, without any gear, an' didn't have any experience with that sort of thing, then yeah, it'd be pretty damn stupid. Instead, I went with two other people, an' we all have combat experience. Not goin' in at all, now, that's stupid, 'cause how will anyone ever learn what's going on in there if nobody looks?

We know what's going on in there. Some possibly sentient creature coming up with new and creative ways to kill the curious. Fascinating.

There's a lotta words in that sentence that tell me you don't know the kind of details I went in there to try an' find out.

What makes you think I give a damn about your intent?

Thought maybe if I tried to explain it to you, you'd stop whining. My bad.

Of course. Because why wouldn't nattering on about something irrelevant assuage my concerns?

Oh, now you're concerned about me. Ain't that a turnaround.

[Ugh.]

I am not concerned.

[He is concerned.]

Funny, let me replay that last voice post- yeah. Yeah, you said you're concerned. Well, luckily for you, I've handled some pretty serious situations by myself just fine. Wouldn't want you to have to worry 'bout me, after all.

Sir, I could not possibly care less about you!

Good. Stop wastin' your breath, then.

What I do care about, however, is the example you're setting.

It's a damn good one. Don't go in there unless you're well-armed, well-stocked, an' travel in a group. I definitely don't think most'a the people here should even try it.

No. You can go in there even if you don't have two brain cells to rub together and somehow - by dumb luck - make it out alive.

While I'm not gonna dispute that, the fact we survived in there for a whole month without any incident at all isn't just coincidence. Who else has gone in there for that long an' come out completely unscathed? Anyone?

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