[text] eridan's guide to not being happy

[uncodlyawwesome]

i hate this fuckin ship

id rather be dead in my owwn homewworld than alivve here

[has someone been locked away in his room for the entirety of this jump so far? why yes he has]

Comments

[uncodlyawwesome]

uh yeah i am i got fuckin cut in half by a chainsaww wwhat do you call that a flesh wwound

[handelaar]

England might.

[If it sounds like he's amused it's because he is. And maybe slightly homesick.]

[uncodlyawwesome]

then england is a fuckin moron that shit aint just a knick or somethin you dont just get to slap a plaster on it an call it a day
more like you bleed out on the fuckin floor an get real acquainted wwith howw your organs look

[handelaar]

[Give him a second to be inwardly entertained that someone else is calling England a moron.



Alright, back to the point.]

Got it. You died, but you're -

[Nope, he doesn't have it.]

Aware of your afterlife. I guess.

[uncodlyawwesome]

sorta i mean i nevver had a chance to check it out myself but i knoww wwhat happens after someone dies in our univverse
or at least wwhat happens wwhen they die in the game
but yeah i nevver got to experience it it kind a sucks i guess thats part a the reason id rather be dead ovver in my univverse than alivve here

[handelaar]

[Wait wait wait he thought the kid said that the bubbles don't pop. He's also wondering about this game shit but first things first.]

Why didn't you get to.

[uncodlyawwesome]

because i fuckin ended up here didnt i
i bled out an then wwoke up here instead a in a dreambubble like i should a
maybe thats wwhy im so fuckin discontent here i didnt get a chance to wwork through my issues by wway a dreambubble therapy

[handelaar]

... coulda said.

[Wow that's not sulky. Also his impression of dreambubbles is just getting more and more strange.]

Is that what dream... bubbles... [so awkward] - are for.

[uncodlyawwesome]

i dont fuckin knoww wwhat theyre for exactly i just assume theres some sort a character buildin situation goin on in them otherwwise wwhat wwould the point be

an i didnt havve to say anythin i dont like talkin about it much

[handelaar]

Might be easier if ya did. Say something, I mean.

[What not speaking from personal experience not projecting his issues onto Eridan no not at all.]

[uncodlyawwesome]

hell no im not gonna go around broadcastin the fact that i died are you fuckin crazy
if i did that itd be nothin but howwd you die eridan an wwhyd your friend kill you eridan an i dont need that shit in my life right noww its hard enough bein me as it is wwithout evveryone pryin into my personal affairs

[handelaar]

[The problem with that is that he now wants to ask every single one of those questions Eridan why do you do this.]

I don't want to either.

[ERIDAN WHY DO YOU DO THIS IT IS ABOUT THE LAST THING HE WANTS TO TALK ABOUT.]

It, uh. Feels better. When - [huff] - ain't always bad. If you have the right people.

[uncodlyawwesome]

[HEY MAN YOU STARTED IT]

wwell i dont havve the right people
not any more

[handelaar]

Find new people.

[uncodlyawwesome]

its not wworth the effort
wwhat happened to me back home has nothin to do wwith me here

[handelaar]

[Speaking of effort why is he even trying. Stubbornness, probably. TOO CLOSE TO HOME more like]

You're stuck here. An' it sucks without people.

[uncodlyawwesome]

yeah wwell its gonna suck more wwith dumbass people askin me dumb questions
wwhats wwith this third degree anywway wwhat do you wwant me to say
are you hopin ill suddenly swwoon gracefully into youre fuckin arms an say oh netherlands im so alone here let me tell you about my fuckin past an the wwoes it brings me
because look buster im not sure im really into this passivve pale thing that might be goin on
or some evven wweirder form a ashenness betwween me an my past
so if you got somethin to say to me you better just say it instead a bein so fuckin wweird about it

[handelaar]

Wh-

[SWOON. INTO. HIS ARMS. DID HE REALLY JUST READ THAT.]

Hell no - I'm sayin' find someone else to bitch to instead of mopin' all over the damn network.

[uncodlyawwesome]

wwell i dont fuckin knoww wwhat youre gettin at wwith all this meddlin malarkey you could be up to somethin for all i knoww

[eridan has very interesting ideas of what reality entails]

an i wwas hardly mopin around the netwwork i made one coddamn post about an empirical fact
that its better to be dead in my univverse than alivve here
its not like im like the rest a these morons wwho wwander around the netwwork in a perpetual daze a wwoe an anguish cod

[handelaar]

Sounds like mopin'.

[Yeah that's literally all he has to say about that. He has no idea why he's ... doing meddling malarky, or whatever the fuck.]

[uncodlyawwesome]

it isnt fuckin mopin i knoww wwhat to do wwhen i need to mope an makin posts on the netwwork isnt wwhat i do