captain's log | 22 | voice - entire post incl. responses Kirk Encryption, 100%

[goldshirt]

{PRIVATE TO: Rᴏʙʙ Sᴛᴀʀᴋ, Jᴀʏᴇ, Nᴇᴀʟ Cᴀғғʀᴇʏ, Nᴀᴛʜᴀɴ Pᴇᴛʀᴇʟʟɪ, Isᴀᴀᴄ Cʟᴀʀᴋᴇ, Cᴀʀᴏʟʏɴ Fʀʏ, Wᴀᴛsᴏɴ, Cʜᴀsᴇ, Tᴏɴʏ Sᴛᴀʀᴋ}

[there is no video to go along with this, probably half because of the state Jim is in, though at least he doesn't look like a victim of famine anymore. during the meeting with Tony, he'd been very quiet, but anyone who had seen him would have seen a gaunt Kirk, a man who looked like he hadn't eaten for maybe four or five days. he'd left without a fuss when Tony made it clear he wouldn't be telling Kirk anything at all, and nobody would have seen or heard much of him until now.]

I know this is late.

I've gotta apologize for last week. For the last couple of weeks. I had some help and I know, now, it was the mask, but the fact remains that I acted like an asshole. [beat] One hell of an asshole, actually. So if you have something you want to say to me, might as well get your I told you sos off your chest. I'm a big boy, I can take it.


{ғɪʟᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ Rᴏʙʙ Sᴛᴀʀᴋ}

Especially to you, Stark. Some of what I said-- [he pauses, then shakes his head and pushes on, and somehow manages to keep the self disgust out of his tone.] You were right. A poor commander is definitely what I was acting like.


{ғɪʟᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ Cᴀʀᴏʟʏɴ Fʀʏ}
I know I'm not exactly in your good books right now, but if you've got the patience I could really use something hands-on. [then, recalling some of his more forward flirtation lately, he adds quickly:] I mean on the shuttles.

Promise I won't break anything- [and he smirks, you can hear it in his voice] You won't even know I'm there. [he could always come down on his own anyway, maybe with Sulu, but it's a gesture of respect he reaches out to her]


{ғɪʟᴛᴇʀᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ Issᴀᴄ Cʟᴀʀᴋᴇ}
Got room for another set of hands down there?

[it might seem like too much, but Jim needs nothing more than to bury himself in the ship, feel what makes it move and that as a starship captain, he has a physical responsibility- something real that isn't a projection from his head.]




{PRIVATE TO: Rᴀᴠᴇɴ}
[there is nobody he needs to repent more to than he does to Raven. she'd seen him in that state, had been personally effected by what that mask made him see- and he hated himself for it.]

Can we talk? Just- [he lifts a hand, pinches the bridge of his nose. he wouldn't blame her if she said no, or ignored him completely.] Let me know if you have time.




{PRIVATE TO: Gᴏᴅʀɪᴄ}

Hey. [he's not sure what he wants to say, here, so he just says bluntly:] Sorry you had to come pick my ass up out of the corridor.




{Eɴᴛᴇʀᴘʀɪsᴇ Eɴᴄʀʏᴘᴛɪᴏɴ}
Status report. [he says, and then exhales] Off the record. How are you guys?

Comments

voice; private

[darkholme]

[ she maybe probably should ignore him completely. that would probably be the stronger thing to do here, not giving him the chance to apologize or explain so quickly. maybe. would it though? it actually seems like something she would have done a while ago, when she got mad at Charles. lock herself in her room and- no. okay, she can't do that. she won't do that. it's immature. ..but that doesn't mean she's going to be nice about this. ]

I can always make time for you, captain.

[ alright, so the sass was half-hearted at best, but yes, that's a dig in that weird backhanded way - I've been so worried, and you were such a jerk and I told you to take off the mask I told you and I was playing that moment over and over in my head trying to figure out who you thought I was and why you thought I was her and so yes, yes I am going to use your own words against you and be mean about it, too. this is me being mean and I hope it makes you feel like a jerk cause that's what you are. ...basically all that. right. ]

voice; private

[goldshirt]

[he stands in the middle of his room, without leaning on anything, and winces when her voice comes across the feed.]

I deserved that. [he acknowledges without jest.]

voice; encrypted, private

[cargojet]

I'll forgive you if you stop playing the victim card. What do you say?

voice; encrypted, private

[goldshirt]

[he laughs, and it's rueful and he rubs the back of his neck]

Deal.

video;

[the_vishual]

Kirk.

video;

[goldshirt]

[he turns on the video and grins without humor at her, his eyes are still a little sunken but the colour has returned to his skin and he doesn't look like he's starving anymore.]

Is it too late to say you were right?

voice; that private hub thingie there

[invalided]

How will I ever trust again?

[ Dry as hell, but who didn't see that tone coming. ]

[goldshirt]

I dunno, I could organize your paperwork for you.

[which, Watson probably knows, Jim hates paperwork so it's kind of the worst thing he could think to do??]

audio, locked;

[suddenlycaptain]

You're an idiot who needs to remember that he's not the one everyone answers to.

[ Well. You said to say it. ]

I'll have the patience if you don't keep pushing it. If I'm busy teaching one of the new recruits, I'll see if Casey can keep an eye on you.

[ Because people can technically just drop by the shuttle bay, but she doesn't like it and most of the flight crew doesn't either. Casey has no problem telling people when they're being stupid, so she figures he'd be a good choice if she can't do it herself. ]

audio, locked;

[goldshirt]

[he quirks a smile. he already knew Carolyn's opinion of him before she said it, but hey, now that it's out there maybe it'll be something they don't have to discuss anymore.]

That really won't be necessary.

audio, locked;

[tumbleweeds]

Did I ever tell you what my job is?

[ This is relevant, she promises. ]

audio, locked;

[goldshirt]

Back home?

[just for clarity. because he knows your station on the ship.]

enterprise encryption;

[leaps]

[ there's the click of connection, and then a pause while sulu tries to figure out what to say. ]

Medical cleared me for duty.

enterprise encryption;

[goldshirt]

[he pauses, waits to hear if Sulu might add anything, and when the silence only settles between them Kirk says, voice low:]

I know.

video » private » just them

[starked]

[ Tony is under no illusions that Kirk will flip his feed over to video and truthfully, Tony doesn't even particularly care if he does or not. because really, this is merely Tony wanting to show something off. of course, isn't that what he always does? maybe. maybe there's something different about knowing you've got something that will unnerve someone.

even if he's not entirely sure it'll work. no matter, when Tony looks at the feed, his left eye is what Kirk will see, but it's not really an eye, is it? no, it's easy to tell that it's robotic, with the metal clearly seen, after all Tony hasn't decided if he really wants to paint it yet. he'll decide later. but perhaps the most interesting thing is how the glow coming from the eye isn't blue like his chest or like any real eye color that's been seen on this ship.

it's red. red like the smiley and red like— well perhaps it's best to leave that particular detail out of this equation. ( see too much? why not adopt the color of the one who has decided that. or did he? debatable, as always. )

it stays as the only thing Kirk can really see as far as Tony's eyes are concerned and he doesn't speak for a bit until he turns fully to reveal his normal eye as well. ]

Say it with me, "I'm an asshole". Don't blame it on the mask, because come on, I don't care what influence you think that thing had over you, I know enough assholes to know that wasn't just a new thing.

video » private » just them

[goldshirt]

[the communicator is held low enough that a shadow is cast over Jim's eyes when as he looks down at the response. he'd been wearing an eyepatch during the meeting, and while it didn't take a genius to figure out what happened, it's something else to see it. but Kirk doesn't stop to think god, what have you done to yourself? Tony Stark is a man who adapts to survive, and the blue glow of his chest is enough proof of that. Jim would do the same, but there's something about it that sets the back of his teeth on edge. maybe it was the fact that his mask and Sulu's mask and looked eerily similar to the red glow of that eye.

the thought is there, a whisper against the back of his neck. what is this ship doing to us?

he flicks on the video and lifts his chin, tilts his head.]

You know what that mask did, right? [he asks, but there's no barb in his voice.] I never said I wasn't an asshole, but I like to think I have a bit more tact than that. [and then conceding:] Most of the time.

[he points it out because it's be even more bizarre for him not to.] That's some handiwork you've done there.

private filter;

[northerner]

[ robb lets the message sit, because he doesn't wish to reply rashly. he takes time to consider it, to consider the entire message and the man making it, before he picks up his comm and fashions a reply. ]

Aye, you were. But your apology carries weight. Not every man can admit his mistakes, and I've seen the suffering that comes of such.

I hold no offense against you, Kirk.

private filter;

[goldshirt]

[somehow it's huge, that this man who passed judgement on him, that he barely knew, acknowledges what he's doing here. he doesn't know Robb Stark even slightly, but what he'd said was correct and Jim, in his addiction, had been too blind to see it. he is a growing and learning young captain, he knows this, just as he knows he needs the input of those with more experience to become the man everyone knows him to be in his future.]

Thanks.

You're a leader yourself, aren't you?

video; private

[faderbroderson]

Was it worth it?

video; private

[goldshirt]

[his gaze flicks down, then away from the communicator. was it worth it? running the trace, being injured, wearing the mask and acting like a fool-- no. none of that was worth it. but no life was loss, and because of the circumstances, it's brought him closer to his crew. the recovery won't be easy, but Jim has long since acknowleged that for him, it never will be.]

It was a mistake.

text| enterprise encryption

[firstofficer]

[ well, someone's staying off feed. gee i wonder why. spock's probably just busy and can't talk right now. that's probably it, it sounds logical. ]

Performing adequately.
I trust that neither yourself or Lieutenant Sulu will endeavor to begin arduous activity within the next 11.43 hours.

text| enterprise encryption

[goldshirt]

[spoCK............ red flag red flag]

Oh, well, 11.43 hours that shouldn't be hard.

[lol not.]

private; piggy-backed encryption

[gothchicklit]

[ October's seen her mask - how could she not? - and while the desire to put it on is definitely there, she's seen and heard bits and pieces about what others have done to people. So she stored hers away in the back of her closet and has been doing her best to ignore it. (Which means spending less time in her room and more time out in the hallway, much to Alex's frustrations.) And while she thought something was off about Kirk the last time they talked, she hadn't thought much of it. ]

Can I ask how you're doing instead, or are you just wanting I told you so?

private; piggy-backed encryption

[goldshirt]

I'm fine.

[which is- true. fine, because he has to move on, because wallowing on the fact that he'd nearly made himself deaf and had to be pulled out of insanity by a Vulcan Mind Meld. he's on the mend. but he never thought he was sick, so how could he be better?]

audio | jim's bittervet encrpytion

[cutsofftheirlimbs]

[Completely deadpan:] You're an idiot, Jim, and I told you so.

Now that that's out of the way, you're welcome to help down here if you want. We've gotten a few influxes of people recently, but you need a place to take your mind of the rest of the ship, you won't find a better place.

[Because truth be told Isaac's been there and done that.]

audio | bittervet encrpytion

[goldshirt]

How many have you got down there now? Officially, I mean.

voice | locked AND MISSED THIS ONE ah surgery day

[became]

What, no flowers?

voice | locked y e ssss

[goldshirt]

Haven't been down to the gardens, sorry Neal.