003. text; Sebastian Moran just can't catch a break

[abductivereasoning]

[ A certain muttonchopped Colonel has managed to "misplace" his communicator, and a certain consulting detective is more than happy to have himself a bit of fun while he's got hold of it — which is why this message comes attached with Sebastian Moran's numbers. ]

I heard the most hilarious joke today, chums, and thought I might share.

Two Irishmen were adrift in a life boat after escaping from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth. The genie said it would grant them just one wish.

Without giving much thought to it one man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!"

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and the whole bloody ocean turned into the finest brew the men would ever taste. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.

The second Irishman man looked disgustedly at the first whose wish had been granted. After a long, tense moment, he shouted, "Nice going, idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat."

You see, the joke is funny because Irishmen are idiots.

Comments

[deprecate]

Begging your fucking pardon?

[text]

[jurisimpudent]

Unfunny.

[invalided]

Have to say, I've heard better.

[skindeep]

A bit immature for my tastes.

text;

[abductivereasoning]

Too hard for you to grasp, chum?

text;

[abductivereasoning]

Leave it to a lawyer to have no sense of humor.

text;

[jurisimpudent]

And leave it to a violence-crazed maniac to tell something so utterly in poor taste.

text; private

[abductivereasoning]

[ Oh haha, let's see if you can figure this one out, shall we? ]

I'm sure you've heard some rather colorful anecdotes with your time in the service, old chap.

text;

[abductivereasoning]

What could possibly be immature about a bit of proper humour?

text;

[abductivereasoning]

Leave it to a Yank to get up in arms over nothing.

text;

[jurisimpudent]

Quite. And what nationality are you yourself, sir?

text;

[abductivereasoning]

If you can't even figure that much out, chum, you lot are even worse off than I thought.

text;

[jilt]

My, my. Aren't we ruffling feathers today.

text;

[skindeep]

A laugh at someone else's expense is more cruel than humourous. Did your mum never teach you that?

text;

[jurisimpudent]

Yes, I am aware you're British. But of what nation within Britain?

voice;

[deprecate]

Easy enough, I'd say. You're a sassy piece of shit, eh?

voice;

[abductivereasoning]

Don't take it too personally. You can't help what mudpit you were born in, after all. My condolences.

[deprecate]

[ As much as he hates Ireland, and fuck but he does, there's a certain amount of pride a man must take in his country, and Cillian was raised with zealous, independent patriotism beaten into him. It's etched on his bones. His teeth grit. ]

You might be wanting to shut your mouth afore someone shuts it for you.

text;

[abductivereasoning]

[ Let's see how clever you are, Miss Adler. ]

Just trying to lighten the mood. I can't help who takes a joke personally, now can I?

[abductivereasoning]

[ If Sherlock is reading this right (which, of course, he is) he is in the process of earning Moran a fresh punch in the face. Needless to say, this is officially hilarious. ]

And who exactly will that be, old chap? You? I look forward to it. Shall I put a potato on a string and drag it down the halls until you come running over?

[deprecate]

You're only the floor below me, think I'll manage to find my way.

voice. | hello I am threadjacking sorry moranlock.

[deprecate]

Do you know this cock.

video; later when he's gotten his comm back u g h sherlock

[tigers]

[ What up, Cillian? Here's old muttonchops himself, jaw clenched and looking irritated. ]

While I do indeed welcome any threats you wish to act upon, I'm afraid that I'm not to blame for any of the messages you received.

[ But Sherlock's impression of him is actually quite spot on. ]

video; u g h later when you've returned his comm whatevz

[tigers]

[ HE'S TALKING TO NO ONE ISN'T HE ]

Very clever, old chap, but that one's older than Queen Vicky herself. I'm certain I first heard it well before I could even stand. And I'll thank you to keep your opinions to yourself. Hard working group of individuals, the Irish. No doubt they'd find someplace else to piss.

video; when his comm has been returned

[tigers]

Decidedly not.