002 ⇒ video

[inebriety]

[Tony is sitting in a chair, feet propped up against a table with a drink in one hand. He's still avoiding those dreadful jumpsuits so he's dressed in one of his fancy suits instead although it's a little rumpled as he has no idea how to iron. Looking at him, you wouldn't be able to tell that he's barely keeping himself together.]

You know what I miss?

Good alcohol. Scotch, whiskey, a martini. This stuff is good enough to get drunk on, but still disappointing.

So let's barter. I'm sure some of you out there have something decent in your possession. I can build you a personalised nanite fleet, portable teleporter and/or force field, dimensional gate, super-soldier exo-suit, Thor's hammer-- actually scratch the hammer, weather manipulation in an enclosed space is just stupid, for the really good stuff and in large quantities.

For the lesser stuff you can choose between a weapon of your choice provided it's not something like a nuke, your very own pet Wall-E or some other small trinket, coffee machine, whatever.

Everything is negotiable and if you have something specific in mind feel free to ask. I also reserve the right to not do business with you for whatever reason.

[It means anyone wanting something that could be used as a weapon beyond a simple gun or sword will be scrutinised heavily. Also any of the big stuff will have built in safety mechanisms so he can shut it down remotely if the need arises. He doesn't really see anyone actually fulfilling his criteria for the big stuff, but he's crossing his fingers.]

The offer is open indefinitely and I'll probably have something up on that noticeboard.

[filtered to the Ultimates; encrypted 100%]

And just as an addition. I realise with the whole different timelines and all, not all of you would know about this. Clint knows already, but I'm sure you've all wondered at one point or another why someone like me is in this business.

I'm dying. [He looks incredibly relaxed as he says this and taps the side of his head.] Brain tumour, inoperable. Blah blah blah. I figured I'd go out with a bang. It's gone into remission a couple of times which is the only reason I'm still around, but it's back right now.

This isn't the important part.

[Speaking off camera.] Come over here.

[A young boy walks into view dressed in a suit just like Tony, basically imagine Tony as a child. The important thing to note here is that he is rather ghostly.]

This is Anthony, he's my tumour. Say hi, this is my team.

[Anthony smiles and waves at the camera.]

He's also a technopath. So any questions?

Comments

video; encrypted 80%

[cons]

[ oh my god how is she supposed to even pretend to not be excited about this? ]

I'll trade you a full bottle of the bar's best space whiskey in exchange for a Wall-E.

[ sorry Brian, this is so worth it. plus they've got another bottle under the bar. ]

video; encrypted 100%

[inebriety]

[YES, COME TO THE ALCOHOLIC. And wow, so many people are crap at covering their tracks. Consider the bump up as service.]

Do you know the details about vintage and so forth?

[But if it's from a bar, that sounds better than what he's been finding. Consider him interested.]

video;

[onlysaneone]

[ Azari's not certain he should say anything, or if he even wants to be talking to Tony at all. He's not exactly his Tony, but... well.

Close enough.

So he looks a little apprehensive, though you wouldn't be able to read how nervous he is if you didn't know him. ]

Are you really sure it's a good idea to get drunk on a spaceship where people have gotten killed recently?

video;

[inebriety]

[Sorry Azari, this Tony saves the world while completely sloshed on a regular basis. He sees nothing wrong with this. But he's still one of the greatest minds of his time drunk or not and now he's dead certain that Azari is supposed to know him. Let's hope he's not with James and Francis.

Hah.]

Why not? I don't consider this any different from any other moment of my life.

[He can't even remember the last time he was completely sober.]

video;

[chaineddog]

[. . .]

Why am I not fucking surprised you're asking for something like that.

video;

[inebriety]

[Chinhand-ing. Stop acting like a five year old, Tony.]

Jealous you didn't think of it first?

video; encrypted 50%

[onsilksheets]

I think I might have a bottle of scotch stashed in my room somewhere.

video; encrypted 100%

[inebriety]

[The things he does for business. Here, have a bump.]

Unopened? Vintage? I do need to know the details.

text;

[puppydogeyes]

You're just going to give shit like that out to anyone?

text;

[inebriety]

I did say I reserved the right not to do business with anyone.

video; encrypted 100%

[bring_em_down]

Does this mean I should stop trying to make you act like a functioning individual?

video; encrypted 100%

[inebriety]

What makes you think I'm not a functioning individual?

[He can still walk, think, pilot Iron Man if it was here. That's ticked all the important boxes for him.]

video; encrypted 100%

[webline]

[ definitely the only time she's pulled video on this thing -- but you know, for good reason. she's sitting on the floor in her space uniform and uh -- ]

You're dying!?

[ wait a second that is a small child ]

I -- I don't.... How is your tumor sentient?

video; encrypted 100%

[inebriety]

[He shrugs. At least in front of other people, he appears to have completely accepted his short lifespan.]

I talked to it one day and it talked back.

text

[mutelunatic]

no barter, question.

only build mechanical?

text

[inebriety]

It's my specialty. I suppose other things are possible too, but the resources are harder to come by.

voice;

[justamobster]

Ain't got anythin' on hand, but if you can find someone willin' to supply a decent single malt, I'd be interested in knowin' who's got the goods. Coffin varnish they call hooch here's one step away from horse piss, yeah?

The hell's a wally?

voice;

[inebriety]

[Tony loves the noir feeling he's giving off just from his accent.]

There's a bar here that might cater to your tastes.

WALL-E. Movie starring a little robot of that name. It was cute.

Video

[bottlearum]

[Oh, weapons. Jack can always use more weapons. Especially of they were technology weapons. Updated weapons for an updated time.]

I've got rum.

Video

[inebriety]

[Three words and Tony wants. Rum was something he had yet to encounter on the ship.]

How much rum?

voice;

[parkours]

[ Right now, he doesn't actually need anything, but Peter's possessions have a limit on the amount of biocable in his possession. If anything, that's worth a shot. ]

What's your expertise on non mechanical? [ Peter can hold his own on that front; he's no Tony Stark at all, but decent enough to get by. ]

voice;

[inebriety]

[Even though they previous interacted on Gwen's comm and this is an audio transmission, Tony remembers enough to know instantly who this is. He downs another glass of alcohol to fortify himself before replying.]

Depends on what it is. For example, biochemistry is a lot weaker. [Since they used to have someone else who handled that aspect.]

audio; encrypted 100%

[doesthemath]

[Wanda doesn't answer for a long moment because quite frankly this isn't anything she ever expected to hear from Tony. It could have somewhat to do with the fact that she would have expected him to get cirrhosis, but really but really it's just the simple fact that he's dying at all. For someone who understands that people die every day, it's odd to think of anyone from their time dying. After all, the only person they "lost" at Wanda's point in time was Natasha and well, good riddance.

Of course, the second reason that Wanda doesn't answer right away is the fact that apparently Tony's tumor is sentient, and she is staring at her communication screen having a hard time believing it.]

Oh, Tony.

[Yes, taking a deep breath.]

Still taking things to new levels.

audio; encrypted 100%

[inebriety]

I wouldn't be me if I didn't.

[He's watching their responses carefully. Tony doesn't want to be babied, he initially hid it to avoid that.

Maybe they're trying to take it all in, but Tony has had years to deal with it and as such can modulate his responses easily.]

I hope you won't take it personally that I kept this from you.

video;

[buttmad]

[Guess who hasn't put two and two together yet. Okay, look, you both have goatees and are geniuses. Wow. That could be anyone. You know who also has a goatee and a genius IQ? David Xanatos. That doesn't make him Tony Stark.

So says Hammer's logic.]

That's not a bad idea. Hope you don't mind some stiff competition. Don't worry, though. I'm probably gonna want to deal in something a little stronger than alcohol, if you get what I'm saying.

video;

[inebriety]

[Tony doesn't recognise him either since he just looks like Sam Rockwell to him and he's accepted that a large number of people are going to look like movie stars not to mention that the Justin Hammer he knew was an elderly man.]

Worth is in the eye of the beholder. And if you feel you're capable of competing against me then be my guest.

[deadandred]

Got some moonshine, but there ain't much left. I dunno about the rest of the good stuff, this is a big ship. Might be some hiding somewhere.

[inebriety]

If you want something, you only need to ask. Steve's word is good enough for me.

[aimlessness]

This sure is the stupidest thing I've seen, passing out weapons to a bunch of civilians.
You gunning to make Security's job more difficult than it has to be?

[inebriety]

This is hardly the worst thing I've ever done and it's better than being helpless.

What do I care about how difficult security's job is? Quite frankly, Howard Stark may not have met his end if he had been armed.

text;

[leaps]

[ there's a lot about this that sulu doesn't like. a bunch of weapons being passed around? that has every possibility of ending badly.

but. first things first. ]

Where are you getting your materials?

text;

[inebriety]

It's surprising how much you can find lying around. I'm resourceful that way.

[That and he pulls apart things for what he can't find in the scrap heap.]