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002 ⇒ video
[Tony is sitting in a chair, feet propped up against a table with a drink in one hand. He's still avoiding those dreadful jumpsuits so he's dressed in one of his fancy suits instead although it's a little rumpled as he has no idea how to iron. Looking at him, you wouldn't be able to tell that he's barely keeping himself together.]
You know what I miss?
Good alcohol. Scotch, whiskey, a martini. This stuff is good enough to get drunk on, but still disappointing.
So let's barter. I'm sure some of you out there have something decent in your possession. I can build you a personalised nanite fleet, portable teleporter and/or force field, dimensional gate, super-soldier exo-suit, Thor's hammer-- actually scratch the hammer, weather manipulation in an enclosed space is just stupid, for the really good stuff and in large quantities.
For the lesser stuff you can choose between a weapon of your choice provided it's not something like a nuke, your very own pet Wall-E or some other small trinket, coffee machine, whatever.
Everything is negotiable and if you have something specific in mind feel free to ask. I also reserve the right to not do business with you for whatever reason.
[It means anyone wanting something that could be used as a weapon beyond a simple gun or sword will be scrutinised heavily. Also any of the big stuff will have built in safety mechanisms so he can shut it down remotely if the need arises. He doesn't really see anyone actually fulfilling his criteria for the big stuff, but he's crossing his fingers.]
The offer is open indefinitely and I'll probably have something up on that noticeboard.
[filtered to the Ultimates; encrypted 100%]
And just as an addition. I realise with the whole different timelines and all, not all of you would know about this. Clint knows already, but I'm sure you've all wondered at one point or another why someone like me is in this business.
I'm dying. [He looks incredibly relaxed as he says this and taps the side of his head.] Brain tumour, inoperable. Blah blah blah. I figured I'd go out with a bang. It's gone into remission a couple of times which is the only reason I'm still around, but it's back right now.
This isn't the important part.
[Speaking off camera.] Come over here.
[A young boy walks into view dressed in a suit just like Tony, basically imagine Tony as a child. The important thing to note here is that he is rather ghostly.]
This is Anthony, he's my tumour. Say hi, this is my team.
[Anthony smiles and waves at the camera.]
He's also a technopath. So any questions?
You know what I miss?
Good alcohol. Scotch, whiskey, a martini. This stuff is good enough to get drunk on, but still disappointing.
So let's barter. I'm sure some of you out there have something decent in your possession. I can build you a personalised nanite fleet, portable teleporter and/or force field, dimensional gate, super-soldier exo-suit, Thor's hammer-- actually scratch the hammer, weather manipulation in an enclosed space is just stupid, for the really good stuff and in large quantities.
For the lesser stuff you can choose between a weapon of your choice provided it's not something like a nuke, your very own pet Wall-E or some other small trinket, coffee machine, whatever.
Everything is negotiable and if you have something specific in mind feel free to ask. I also reserve the right to not do business with you for whatever reason.
[It means anyone wanting something that could be used as a weapon beyond a simple gun or sword will be scrutinised heavily. Also any of the big stuff will have built in safety mechanisms so he can shut it down remotely if the need arises. He doesn't really see anyone actually fulfilling his criteria for the big stuff, but he's crossing his fingers.]
The offer is open indefinitely and I'll probably have something up on that noticeboard.
[filtered to the Ultimates; encrypted 100%]
And just as an addition. I realise with the whole different timelines and all, not all of you would know about this. Clint knows already, but I'm sure you've all wondered at one point or another why someone like me is in this business.
I'm dying. [He looks incredibly relaxed as he says this and taps the side of his head.] Brain tumour, inoperable. Blah blah blah. I figured I'd go out with a bang. It's gone into remission a couple of times which is the only reason I'm still around, but it's back right now.
This isn't the important part.
[Speaking off camera.] Come over here.
[A young boy walks into view dressed in a suit just like Tony, basically imagine Tony as a child. The important thing to note here is that he is rather ghostly.]
This is Anthony, he's my tumour. Say hi, this is my team.
[Anthony smiles and waves at the camera.]
He's also a technopath. So any questions?
video;
Worth is in the eye of the beholder. And if you feel you're capable of competing against me then be my guest.
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That's adorable. I love ambition. It's surprisingly difficult to find in people these days. Everyone wants everything handed to them- sometimes they even get it, but listen, here's the thing- where I'm from there's only two big names in the industry and that's Hammer and Stark. We're the big dogs, so really, it should be the other way around. Do you feel confident going up against that much firepower? 'Cause I dunno. I'd... I'd be a little intimidated if it were me. Unless you don't know either of those names, but we're both big deals. You probably can't even swing a cat without hearing about what ol' Tony's been up to here.
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Okay, he's good.]
Justin Hammer, right? You're a lot younger then how I'm used to. Oh, this is cute. A friendly word of advice, don't experiment on your daughter the kinetic-discharge enhancements are cool, but the dying part less so. [For a moment he looks wistful.] She was a beautiful girl.
Of course, this is assuming technology catches up. Your timeline seems pretty slow on the uptake on things. You guys hadn't even discovered dimensional travel until this place and I'm in my forties before I even join the team.
[He doesn't like the implication that other Tony is better with tech then him even if it was said before the link between them was made.]
video; 1/2
just
happened....]
...What?
[NO REALLY. This is Hammer's brain going PFFFT.] I don't- I'm not even- Well, I was once, but that was a healthy pre-nup ago and if there was a kid involved, I'd have heard about it. In strongly worded letters that smelled like Clive Christian perfume and-
[WHAT?]
I-I have no idea what just happened.
video; 2/2
Hold on.]
Gonna take a shot in the dark. Might miss. You never know. But... You aren't the winner of the Tony Stark lookalike contest, are you?
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I went to one of those, but it was as a judge, not a contestant. It'd be cheating otherwise.
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MUCH.
HATE.]
So there's two of you. That's... That's good to know.
[If he sounds like he's about to be sick...
He probably is.]
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I sense animosity between the two of you. If it makes you feel any better, I don't care about you. Wishing you ill would mean I was invested in you.
[This is him trying to be nice.]
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Also that just makes him twitch, BECAUSE NOT CARING IS THE PROBLEM, ALTERNATONY.]
There's no animosity between us. There's actually- okay, there's a little, minor piddly thing between us that never got properly resolved, but we're working through that, mano a mano.
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Ah, so you'll get back to your apathy in no time. I must admit though, that I am a little curious about how things are between the two of you considering you're much closer to each other's age.
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Hold on, he'll answer that question with EVASIVE ACTION.]
Wait, so what? Am I just ancient where you're from? Like a mentor figure you don't actually listen to, because you're too busy sleeping with my daughter?
...Why does that sound normal. Of course, that sounds normal. That makes perfect sense, actually.
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I met your daughter after you died actually. Well, we met once in Turkey, but I wasn't paying attention. And before you ask, I believe it was a heart attack.
But between you and I... [He pauses and wonders what would be the easiest way to explain his situation.] On my Earth, the arms race has advanced to superpowers. Metahumans are the new weapons of mass destruction. To put it simply, if I wasn't around, America would have been destroyed years ago. You were merely one of many attempting to find your own corner in a market I helped create.
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[Things That Are Also Not Reassuring In The Slightest: THAT. Hammer just stares. And stares. And stares. Somewhere the Jeopardy music is playing.]
I'm sorry. Is that supposed to make me feel warm and fuzzy? Like there's hope for my future, because Iron Man is still a beacon of light and hope and I'm still the guy running around looking for scraps and generally being the last dog in the race because some of us don't enjoy the prospect of wearing a metric kilo of metal and getting shot at all day to help protect our country?
...'Cause I don't. I don't feel warm and fuzzy.
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You have no idea the amount of good press Iron Man brings me. And come on, who are you more likely to buy weapons from? The man on the front lines using the technology or just another business man sitting behind his desk? I even get Captain America's endorsement because he works with me.
[And then he shrugs.]
But you never know how things might turn out with you. I'm only in my 30's and you look like you're in your mid 40's like old man me. [He is totally guessing from Sam Rockwell's age.] And from what I hear, his team have only worked together once. Little bit slow your world. So who knows? Maybe you have a chance.
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You work with Captain America. [That is both INTENSE JEALOUSY and also skepticism.] And I'm thirty- [WAY TOO LONG A PAUSE THAT SAYS YOU WERE PRETTY MUCH RIGHT] five, thank you. I've got more than a decent amount of years to get back on top.
[Long-suffering dramatic sigh and then- HOLD UP.] Wait. Wait. Waitwaitwait. Back up for a second. Did you say team? Did he and Rhodes start their own iron boy band?
[WHAT HAPPENED WHILE HE WAS IN PRISON...]
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[There's an amused smile when Justin claims to be thirty five which drops at the mention of Rhodey.]
Probably not with him, too much overlap in abilities. They call themselves 'Avengers'. [He thinks Ultimates is a much better name and wonders how much he should talk about this and if he cares about their secrecy.] Group of superheroes banding together to save the day. I think theirs was a matter of circumstances rather than something that was planned.
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