002 ; video

[shoyu]

[ click! as the video starts recording, revealing: a rather skinny, disheveled fellow sitting in what looks like one of the rec rooms around the ship's hallways. soysauce sits back from where he's leaned forward to start the recording, looking rather haggard and sleep-deprived, his hair mussed up and his tie hanging loose around his neck. he's swaying a bit in his seat as he runs a hand back through his hair -- the empty liquor bottle visible at the edge of the video suggests he miiight just be trashed out of his skull at the moment.

still, at least he sounds half-way coherent as he starts talking. ]

Eh -- hello. Good afternoon. Evening? Either way, I do hope this isn't too much of an interruption. [ a small, polite bow of the head. ] To those I have yet had the pleasure of meeting, please call me Soysauce. Traveling musician and gunman, at your service.

[ a slight, uneasy sway on his seat as he gives the camera a goofy smile. nodding once to himself before continuing. ]

Nothing too important, but ah. Just two -- three! [ holding out two fingers. ] Three things I'd like to say.

First -- I seem to have lost track of, ah. A small model of the hoverbike I used at home. About this big -- [ holding his hands up to shape something roughly the size of a loaf of bread ] -- based off a robust model, fully functional, a little thing made of metal. If anyone happens to see it zipping by, I'd be very grateful to hear some suggestion of where it might have ended up.

Second. [ pause. ] What passes for whiskey here is rather lacking, no?

[ sigh. and then one those deep breaths that suggests he's trying to sober up somewhat. brows slightly furrowed as he speaks a bit more slowly. ]

And third. As ridiculous as this may sound, I'd like to ask if anyone is willing to spend some time as a sparring partner -- or instructor. Close-quarters combat has never been my forte, but given the vast differences between methods of combat here and where I'm from, I've given to thinking this problem may need to be addressed. Not to mention, what I do know, I feel I may have been growing rather rusty with as of late.

I'd be more than willing to compensate for any time with, well. Anything I can offer.

[ pause. he's spending a lot of visible effort trying to make sure he hasn't forgotten anything before giving the camera another sloppy, drunk smile. ]

Ah, thank you for your attention.



[ ooc ; also open to action, if anyone wants to actually bump into his drunken ass lurking in the rec room! the scale miniature of his hoverbike is going to ultimately end up in rickon's hands, but please feel free to have seen it zoom by in the hallways or bump into anyone's ankles! ]

Comments

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

[A bit quietly:]

Sir, do you think this is the best time to be posting?

[voice]

[shoyu]

[ NOT QUIETLY AT ALL: ]

Aah, Mister Edgeworth, my good friend!

[ pause. a really doofy, tipsy laugh. ]

I don't see why not now?

[voice]

[jurisimpudent]

You're heavily intoxicated.

Video

[godofthemachine]

[Whoops he normally responds with text but text can't convey his partial amusement at this post. He just stares for a moment with a small smirk.

And this is why he has been hesitant to partake in intoxication.]

Hit the bottle hard, did we?

[He leans back in his seat.]

I believe I saw your toy speeding by recently around the kitchens.

Video

[shoyu]

[ pointing the empty bottle at the video camera, sounding slightly indignant. ]

-- it's not a toy!

[ pause. frown. ]

No. I mean -- what's here is a toy. I think. But the real thing -- back home. That's not a toy.

[ another pause as he realizes AM is giving him info. ]

-- ah! Thank you, though! I'll have to search around the kitchen later!

[godofthemachine]

If that thing is zooming around the ship unattended, it probably left the kitchens by now.

permavid!

[thaumaturgic]

[ in all honesty, he's pretty surprised at this. he wouldn't have pegged Soysauce for a drinker - then again, would anyone think he was? so Lor watches the whole way through, frowning just a little. he should say something. Soysauce seems nice, smarter than letting himself drown in whiskey.

then again, he's done the same thing on countless occasions. he's not enough of a hypocrite to tell him to stop. ]

Hey, uh. Soysauce? [ does he even remember him? ] Are you okay?

[shoyu]

Ah! Mister, ah -- [ expression scrunching up for a moment as he tries to think past the liquor hazing his thoughts, um ] -- Lor! Mister Lor! Good to see you!

[ have such a pleased, cheerful, drunk-ass grin. ]

Doing alright, sir! Whiskey's rather rubbish, but it'll do well enough.

[thaumaturgic]

Ahaha, yeah. That's me. I told you it was okay to drop the "mister", remember?

[ maybe he is okay. everyone gets smashed for their own reasons, right? so maybe Soysauce just...felt like getting smashed.

he still can't help wondering why, though. ]

Whiskey? I can't say I've ever had any before. [ he'll ignore the (now) 1 1/2 bottles of Hell booze in his closet for now. ] How do you know if it's good or not?

video;

[tumbleweeds]

You are sooo drunk.

video;

[shoyu]

Only slightly!

[ so he says as he wobbles on his seat. ]

SEXY ACTION IN THE SEXY REC ROOM

[atmnumber0001]

[Manfred is just minding his business, casually walking back to his quarters when he sees a heavily intoxicated man in the Rec Room.

Ugh.

Some people really have no dignity, do they? Public intoxication - one of the lowest activities one can stoop to. Manfred wants to ignore him but he's right in his path. Let's make this quick.]

Public drunkenness. What other delights does this ship hold?

aw yeeeh boiiiii

[shoyu]

[ to be fair, at least soysauce is pretty tame for someone who's downed a good half-bottle of whiskey. the worst he's done is said some things a little too hastily on the network, and really -- that's not too bad, is it?

there's the creak of the chair as soysauce stumbles onto his feet, scrubbing the back of his sleeve against his eyes to try and clear his vision of the familiar alcohol-induced haze.

and it takes him a long moment to realize there's someone standing there. a long moment where he squints at manfred, brows furrowed in thought, before his expression brightens in a fairly happy, drunken smile. ]

-- good evening, sir!

[meddler]

Gunman, you say?

[ He doesn't like guns all that much, but he's found himself with one far too often for his liking. ]

[shoyu]

... yes? [ pause, and a puzzled little cant of the head. ] Well, I suppose one could say 'bodyguard-for-hire' or 'part-time hunter' to be more specific, but those terms are rather more clumsy, no?

[audio]

[testgasm]

What, like a toy, or something?

[audio]

[shoyu]

[ a soft 'hmph!' ]

It's not a toy!

[video] whoops

[za_rodina]

[Going to easily ignore Soysauce's intoxicated state (it'd be raher hypocritical of him otherwise!) And focus in on the last topic there.]

What would you like to learn?

[video]

[shoyu]

Well, nothing too elaborate -- I'm quite the powerhouse already, as you can see!

[ god he's so badly drunk, watch him do a really bad flex that just shows off how scrawny he is. and the worst tipsy laugh immediately afterward. ]

But, ah. Maybe just a bit on how to deal when an enemy is too close to run from. I suppose I've grown far too accustomed to gunfights from a distance.

video;

[ringbearer]

[ well someone's been drinking. frodo raises an eyebrow ]
Whiskey?

video;

[shoyu]

Aah, Mister Baggins! Is there no whiskey where you're from?

[ have a dramatic flourish of the wrist as he pretends to know what he's talking about, swaying dangerously in his seat. ]

Whiskey -- is the finest drink. Usually brewed from fermented grain. Classy and delicious and excellent for ending the night with! [ pause, then he frowns at the empty bottle. ] The stuff here's rather rubbish, though.

voice;

[bonus]

[Yes, yes, that's all very nice, Soy.]

What do you play?

voice;

[shoyu]

What do I play?

[ he's wasted enough that there's an awkward moment before he realizes what moniz is asking. ]

Ah! The saxophone, good sir! And a little bit of the piano, but I'm afraid I don't have one of those on me at the moment.

[action]

[birdhousesoul]

[[ooc: I hope it's okay to just launch straight into action, even though this isn't the logs comm? if not, smack me with something and I'll move this]]

[He might be dead. That's what Anders thinks at first, when he sees the man slumped against a wall in one of the passageways just outside the gardens. Head hanging down, hair hanging into his face so Anders can't see his features readily.

And the wonder of it isn't that Anders may have found a corpse in the hallways, but that he's never before found one. Really, with all that's happened -- all that is happening -- well, and he isn't medical staff any longer, but that's never stopped Anders from lending his skills as a healer. Never has and never will. Immediately he drops to a crouch beside the man and reaches for his wrist, to feel for any signs of life. A pulse.]

action's perfectly fine!

[shoyu]

[ it's -- actually quite confusing. soysauce had started making his arduous way from the rec room back to his own cabin, stumbling slowly down the hallway and trying not to walk into walls along the way. and he'd only stopped briefly to take a small rest. sitting down on the ground to catch his breath just for a few moments.

and then he's suddenly waking up from his drunken doze to the feel of someone holding his wrist. his hair's disheveled, stray strands tangled over his face, and soysauce's vision is hazy from the alcohol and exhaustion when he looks up. it takes him a moment to realize that someone's crouching before him, and soysauce just stares at anders blearily for a long second -- before giving a tipsy smile and gently tugging anders' arm forward. leaning his head down to press a little kiss against anders' knuckles before raising his head once more and grinning. ]

What a romantic good-morning greeting!

[ if that silly gesture and the utter disarray he's in aren't good enough indications of how goddamn drunk he is, anders must surely be able to smell a whiff of whiskey hanging in the air. ]