ataraxion | oo1｡ ― ( text

listen up kiddos got one important thing to ask
the sheer amount of importance will blow your mind so make sure youre sitting down
seatbelt on and everything and dont miss the chair either
youll be shit out of luck if you miss so get it right the first time
once youre done marveling of whatever i could be asking for ill just get it out
does anyone know where a guy can get his hands on a shitty sword
any sword is fine though
shitty is a preference
and for a bonus ill even go as to show you a magic trick
also one other thing

[and the function switches to video, to which you will be seeing someone chances you may already know. except for the fact he has a neck full of feather ruff and two orange wings folded behind him.]

Just so everyone has the lowdown I may look like someone familiar and long story short I'm him and he's me, I got four months ahead though so yeah future self and shenanigans all in one. So you don't find yourself confused and disorientated on space drugs he's red Dave, alpha Dave, just Dave. Number one coolkid. I'm orange Dave, Dave with the bird parts, but you can just call me Davesprite.

Just putting it out there so you don't go and say shit like I didn't tell you so.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Why do you even need to call them "wingy thingies" when they're clearly just wings. [but he sounds amused and just a little curious.]

Yeah sure.

I would tell you to hang onto your socks, but you won't have any to hang onto.

Are you wearing socks right now?

Are your feet like... claws and stuff? Because that would be super super super cool.

Socks are a thing with the uniform bro.

[ facepalm x0 ] I'm pretty sure the doucheship's intent was to make me as human as possible, not crow. So sorry to break your bubble.

Then we should totally go sock parachuting.

... Do you like being back to humany and stuff? [ though a little disappointed at a lack of crow feet yeah ]

You sure you don't want to go and ask Alpha Dave. Probably be all up on that. [because you know, he'd want to. he doesn't sound jealous or bitter or anything, actually only general curiosity coming from him.]

.. Yeah, I guess, who can resist having a working dick and limbs. [yeeeaah....]

Gross! That's really gross! I don't want to hear about your stupid bird balls! I know you are a hit with the ladies but that does not make it any less gross to me!

Uggghhh. [ shaking his head a little clearing his mind of bird balls everywhere ] You can go ask him, if you want. Oh, we could totally use blankets instead, that would be even cooler and maybe less sock-losingy.

[EYEROLL]

Sure blankets, but nah you have to ask him. You're the host man I'm just the invitee. Send him the most kickass card invite.

Are you really okay if I invite him?

Don't get me wrong! I like hanging out with all kinds of Daves, even girl Dave if girl Dave was a thing, except I kinda thought... I dunno! But I can send him a card if you want.

[john don't jinx it what if a girl dave really did show up, all the same he gives a shrug]

Up to you bro. If you want to go ahead, if you don't then that's okay too. I'm not gonna hold it against you if you do or don't.

[ then john would totally bang her

at a game of chuck e cheeses and then he'd treat her NICELY and like a FRIEND and BEFRIEND HER and play AWESOME GAMES and then GET HER A RING and then MARRY HER ]

I guess it depends! Are you mad at me?

[ that is all accounts WEIRD and if you were actually SERIOUS about that then we'd have to be SUSPICIOUS of there being an underlying hidden LOVE for your BEST BRO here because seriously why would you do that what is wrong with you ]

Why do you ask, should I be.

Edited 2012-01-27 03:33 (UTC)

[ can't stop won't stop daviedette stridero / jonathan egoberto otp4lyfe ]

Because... you seemed kinda mad but Dave said you weren't mad?

[ lips press in a thin line, he's sorta got a feeling what this is about but.]

Gonna have to be more specific, no dancing around the lines. What time are we talking about exactly. I'm gonna assume you mean that conversation a while back.

We don't have to talk about it! Yeah, it's pretty stupid anyway! We can talk about other stuff. We can totally talk about bird dicks. We could talk about bird dicks for hours and not talk about real and Daves at all, because we are not talking about that. Just bird balls.

....

[ john just ]

I'm not bothered by it, not anymore. It's cool. Don't worry about it.

[ stops in the middle of trying to tell him that he is sure bird balls are huge ]

I guess! If you say so. But then I am sorry, Dave, but you are a pretty dumb butt! So it's hard for me to figure out and it's still really stupid.

[ thinking about his bird balls and how big the junk is swoon john ]

Flattering. But I'm a pretty difficult person to understand. [ lies he isn't really he is the most easy to read he is about ready to bleed with emotions his mask is stupid and hiding from everything is stupid and he just ] I don't blame you.

If I was smart like Rose, I could probably get it. She'd probably say it's something about phallic symbols except I don't really get that either...

So if you could tell me, that would be great, but if I'm just overthinking things that would be weird. But I think sometimes I do stuff with other Dave and sometimes I do stuff with you and maybe that's okay? I like hanging out with you even if your butt is totally stupid.

She's probably the one with the phallic addiction, the word never leaves her conversations. [ that's because dave brings it up first ]

Yes that's okay. We don't have a problem with sharing. [ ha ha ha except doesn't change that alpha is the "real" and this john is his best bro not his own.]

Wow, you are making this sound really weird because I'm not candy or anything... It's like sometimes I spend time with Rose and sometimes I spend time with Jade and sometimes I spend them with both of them.

But I'm really not sure if that helps at all...

So you do want to invite him then. Like I said go ahead if you want, it's really not that big a deal.

Okay! I will totally go and invite him, and we will have a great time.

Cool. [ nod ]

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