[voice]

[sammyskeleton]

Just a brief request:

To those of you who have pets, especially canines, would you please let me know if they enjoy chewing on bones?

Just making sure I know which ones to avoid at all earthly costs.

[pause.]

Also, I think we should ask around and find the most capable tailor aboard this ship. Seems like you could make a bit of a killing when it comes to making a nice suit or two. Just throwing that one out there.

Bonus points, if you could manage to fit an abnormally slim frame. I've only met one man to do it, and I'd like to see someone outdo him, in case he ever shows up and decides to try and mock me for only wearing one suit this entire time.

Comments

( audio )

[raffish]

Do you know any dogs that don't like chewing on bones?

( audio )

[sammyskeleton]

Some dogs are partial to rubber ones, maybe? [wishful thinking, look, he doesn't deal with dogs usually, leave him alone.]

( audio )

[raffish]

Only sissy dogs like that better; all dogs love a good bone. [ A pause. There's a joke in there, but, heh, too easy. ] Anyway, what are you worried about? Are you some kind of bone collector?

( audio )

[sammyskeleton]

You could say that.

voice

[werden]

What exactly do you mean by an 'abnormally slim frame'?

voice

[sammyskeleton]

I'm rather skinny. All skin and bones, actually - only without the skin.

[werden]

[BLACK MAGIC]

That sounds rather ominous, ser. [a pause] Although I have to question the use of clothes when a man is nothing but bones.

[sammyskeleton]

Oh, it's not ominous at all, I promise. I'm just a magic skeleton who likes to look fashionable. You don't need skin for that.

[werden]

But certainly there are other concerns than vanity, when one is a skeleton?

[sammyskeleton]

Well, like I said. I'd like to make sure no dogs want a chew toy.

[werden]

[BUT YOU'RE STILL A SKELETON davos is confuse by this logic. moving on;]

Have you always been a skeleton, ser?

[sammyskeleton]

[what do you expect him to eat or sleep or something HE'S A SKELETON cmon get with the times here]

No. I was alive, at one point.

[werden]

[you're hurting his old man, magic-resistant brain]

I'm sorry.

[sammyskeleton]

Ah.

It's all right. To be fair, being a skeleton saves me on a lot of hassle. I don't have to eat, and I never have to exercise to keep my figure slim, which is a blessing because I'm rather vain.

I do miss hair, though.

[werden]

[a slight smile]

There is a lot to miss of life, yes. But it certainly sounds like you've made the best of it while you're a skeleton, which is a lot more than most men would while alive.

[hm] Perhaps you can ask for a hat, instead of the hair. I imagine that'd take more time to maintain, even for a skeleton.

[sammyskeleton]

Ah! I do have a hat. I have a very nice fedora, that goes very well with my suit. My only suit.

I've tried wigs, though. It looks ridiculous. A skeleton can't have hair and not look ridiculous.

[werden]

Unfortunately, yes. One can't have both.