ataraxion | ( 01 ) ♚ bleed confidence from deep within my guts now i'm the king of this pity party

[ there are, in life, very few absolute truths. one of them is: nobody ever fires the guy who brings the donuts.

with that truth in mind, peter addresses the network over the sounds of beef sizzling away, because why the hell not make his offer even more appealing. ]

I've been informed by some very reliable sources that there isn't a lot some of you wouldn't do for a burger. While I don't need much right now and I can't help with buns or toppings or even patties, I was-- [ he pauses, smile going ironic for a moment. ] rather non-traditionally gifted with what has to be a good dozen or so pounds of beef in with my clothes.

[ it was wrapped and peter doesn't honestly care a whit, but normal people might and so: he wrinkles his nose for a moment. ]

First come, first serve, obviously. And let's not start any fights, hmmm? Keep it civil. All I ask for in exchange is a story. About where you're from, anything really. Just a story.

[ people express themselves more clearly in allegory, and peter is a filthy rotten cheater who likes to read between the lines, werewolf style. so that's something. ]

No need to RSVP, just don't blame me if you don't move fast enough and there's none left.

ETA: the meat came from those lockers we all have. Food poisoning exists. Eat carefully.

( ooc | actionspam away, talk amongst yourselves, etc.

eta added at miles edgeworth's insistence )

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[ IMMEDIATELY SUSPICIOUS ]

What are you doing?

[ it's worth noting that this is the first time derek's bothered showing his face on the network. ]

raw meat from a locker
i ain't a picky guy, but come on.

That's not precisely a traditional gift. Most simply get their jumpsuit. Any idea why you got such a, ah, present?

I must agree with the fellow who responded before me. That doesn't seem terribly...sanitary.

Once upon a time a chick stole a cow and some chickens from a creepy space outpost and everyone wanted to eat them, but she told them all to fuck off. She'd still kill for a steak but not from her cow, so that's her story and now she'd like some meat.

[ You didn't say it had to be a good story. ]

Always so suspicious of me, Derek. I'm hurt, I really am.

[ hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii nephew. ]

[ Hello, Peter. ]

Are wolves welcome as well, Peter?

[ Oh. The irony. ]

I wonder why that might be.

[ it's always bad news when derek breaks out the sass. ]

What kind of story did you want in exchange? Comedy, drama...?

You didn't tell me you had meat.

[ nor did you tell her about alayne, but oh she'll get to that in a minute. you big asshole of creeperness. stay away from girls who look kind of innocent. god do you have a redhead fetish? ]

Need I remind you-- reformed?

[ he points at himself, the picture of wounded dignity. ]

And helped you with your last spate of problems, so I wouldn't be quite so quick to jump to conclusions about my motives.

[ no derek continue to jump these are good jumps. ]

You're not required to partake.

Now, that one is still a mystery. Maybe they just like me here.

And I'll say it again-- no one's actually required to have any.

[ he eats bunnies okay also murders people and has werewolf healing HE SCOFFS AT FOOD SAFETY. ]

I don't quite call pounds of beef a present from someone who likes you, I'm afraid. Still, I must admit you're putting it to good use. Only-- er-- I'm not quite certain that's sanitary.

And what if you give people food poisoning?

[ the scoff doesn't signal much faith in that statement. ]

Helped. I find that hard to believe.

Well then, if it'll save an innocent from becoming steak... you can have two.

[ /chinhands ]

Badass. You're my new favorite.

[ Anyone who gives her food is a favorite. ]

Lady will always have a place at my table-- and of course, if she wants one, the same goes for her companion.

[ the wolves are always welcome. ]

[ If only Alayne had a concept of stranger danger. ]

Would we be required to give two tale, then? I'm afraid that Lady is not well-versed in story-telling, though I may be able to make up the difference.

I would attend, if you would have me.

[ great, the gang's all here. she'd try to be subtle, to lay low but the truth is- if he'd been in the same room full of tubes that she'd woken up in - if Derek had too - Peter already knew of her presence. ]

Just a story? [ it's really rhetorical and it's there in her total disbelief but she's also not trying to be as reckless as she was a week or two ago. ]

Anything you feel like sharing. If I'm honest, I'm just trying to get rid of all this meat.

You never asked.

[ you're lucky he's not the teenage boy you named him, lydia; because really. "i didn't know you had meat" leaves him an opening the size of the grand canyon, and he deserves a gold star for not saying it. ]

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( 01 ) ♚ bleed confidence from deep within my guts now i'm the king of this pity party

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LOCKED uncle peter did his research kay

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