ataraxion | video + voice | make me a beast half as brave i'd be the same

[private to jesse pinkman and miles edgesworth | not encrypted | video]

[The Libby--and it's just Libby, even if her face is clean and her hair is gently washed and flowing smooth and purely blonde--who appears in the video is relieved. Not drunk, not jittery with tension, not panicked or cornered or twisted by anger. Just relieved, smiling with an old, recently missing quirk to it, wrapped up in an oversized black jacket and smoking with a hand that shakes but only slightly.]

Hey, guys. Guess who I can't find? Um--do you want to like. Watch a stupid future movie or whatev, some time? I've got--I've got a lot of free time. So. You know. Or anything.

And, um--maybe we should all check in. Every morning and tonight. Your girls too, Jesse. I just ydon't want--well. A lot of people have been going missing. [She ruffles her hair with her free hand, but still. For the first time since she got here she can breathe.] But yeah. Anything you want.

[private to james rogers | not encrypted | voice]

Um. Hey.

[Nervous, but that's fine, right? Everything is fine today.]

[public | voice]

Loki's gone. I don't know who of you care, but unless he shows up and calls me an idiot on this thing--he's gone. So. Tally that up, I figure.

[A quiet, disbelieving laugh, her voice mellow and soft, and Libby falls back on her bed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's no big deal, and yeah, I know, it looks fucking stup-- [wait. He likes it. With one hand in her hair she blinks at him, then hesitantly smiles, like she's unsure if he's just messing with her.]

Yeah? Um. Thanks. I figured--you know, new life, new look. Nobody else--really looks--looked like me.

[A few people. But they'd made it clear she wasn't welcome, she thought.]

[ oh. she didn't do it because she wanted to. that doesn't make sense to him, so he's sort of looking at her like maybe she's a hydra for a second. there are (were?) things he'd like to change about his appearance (if he could) but he's been on that path, man, and it ends in guinea pigs. he does not want to be furry ever again, okay. so, actually, be yourself. yes. that. ] It's really not that bad. But I liked the old look, too.

[ it's not wrong to want to belong to something, but- ] I know a girl that kind of looks like you. She's not here, of course she's not, but I mean, she has this short black spiked hair and a nose ring. She wears leather and ripped jeans and all kinds of .. rad stuff, you'd probably say. I don't know if you'd get along if she was here but you'd have someone to rock it with. [ thinking of Thalia makes him remember that girls like them don't want their faults pointed out and he knows that already with Libby, from calling her out about not caring, about not having friends. she won't like it, so he trails off.

he's got a gray streak in his hair which is strange (maybe) for a seventeen year old but it's natural and it has been there since he arrived. ]

[Libby's never questioned the grey streak. It's just there, like he has blue eyes and a nice smile. It does, however, make the story about Thalia more plausible, quirking her mouth and just--well, it's a good story. Used to be hers.] She sounds wicked rad. Hey, she shows, give her my number. Freaks have to stick together.

I liked how I-- [looked too, she liked it too, but she stops because she has to get over that already. Pretty soon everyone with forget it and she'll look in the mirror enough this angelic stranger will start to be her. No problem. People change. (Looking in mirrors is like seeing a ghost, and she can't forget Larkspur died at almost exactly her age. She has to keep reminding herself that no one is going to kill her just for being sick.)] But I can tell. Responses are more positive already. Now I have to start talking before people realize I'm no good.

[Kidding. Mostly.]

Why are we talking about my face? You want to lick it or something?

[ you're not a freak, he wants to interrupt but he doesn't think she'd take that as positive reinforcement. besides, he sort of agrees. he has this .. compulsion to cheer for the underdogs. and every demigod is a freak of nature, at least growing up without any clue of what they are or why people that don't quite look human but still sort of do keep trying to kill them.

that all falls to the wayside anyway because she calls him out like the stupid boy he is. what kind of question is that? ]

What? Why would I want to lick your face? Okay, ignoring any comparisons to dogs here, maybe because I suck at anything related to grief and I just made a comment? It's not a big deal. It wasn't when I said it. [ it has him thinking too much now. but he tries not to let her read into it. he was going somewhere with Thalia's story but now he needs another topic change. ] I thought about asking if you wanted to do a memorial for him but I don't know, what do you do when you're fifty-fifty on a person?

[Libby laughs at his consternation, for she is a cruel and unusual (mostly unusual) creature, of strange whimsy and an occasional weird awkward charm.] Relax. Buddy, I don't care if you want to lick me. Or not! It's called a joke, do they have those in Sea World?

[Oh yeah, she went there. In other news, although she has the sense articulating this would just be...awkward, as it has been frequently on this ship (and a little hurtful in how baffling it was, the thought is there something wrong me? mingling with relief), to express that she would let him lick her (or whatever) if he just asked.]

I was gonna drink. Like, copiously. And bitch about him. And wicked, wicked hope he didn't get thrown out of an airlock and actually escaped and is laughing his fucking ass off at all of us right now before he conquers his home planet or something.

I live in New York City. [ if she recognizes Sea World, she knows Earth, she has to. he hopes so. it's weird to have to reference things and have people stare at him like he's talking nonsense. to their credit, he does talk a ton of gibberish. you'd have to be fluent in Greek myths to understand his daily life fully. but when he talks about something as simple as say: computers or food coloring or cars, he expects people to know.

it's not Libby, it's Percy. he sucks talking to the girl half of the species and well, okay, girlfriend. he has one. that's a thing. ]

You lost me on hitting the bottle but I hear it's in. I know if I could have when I lost friends, it probably would have made it go by quicker. Still, there's nothing that says he can't be home, right? If he can raze an entire planet and take control, pretty sure he'd be the one person to find an exit and ditch the rest of us.

[The last time she met someone from New York City she told them it flooded. Possibly with Percy that's extra tactless, so no.] Sorry, New York Aquarium--I guess it's obvious they didn't, dorkotron.

[Libby feels him on people not understanding her, which is one reason she studied 21st century history early on to know what doesn't happen roughly around the 2010's. She does okay, usually. It's one social dynamic she doesn't fuck up, unlike her failure to understand gender relations entirely.]

Yeah. [Not like Nikolai or Syg. She took them in and said she'd keep her people safe and--well. She's down three. At least if she can pretend one is okay it's a little better.] Whateeev, though, this is depressing. Aloha Loki, all that. How's being old as fuck feel?

They do, I just save the ones about licking for Grover. [ er, because Satyrs? ] I swear, he eats everything.

[ he can't seem to keep up with the future or the past because finding out secondhand from people is easier; if it's important, they can fill in his blanks. he should think of it as unreliable sources but he has a knack for trusting his friends, so when it comes to kings and princes and wolves and people like Libby or super geniuses on board, he'll let them do the leg work about their times. ]

For the love of Hades, [ language. ] being old as uh, I am.. feels exactly the same as I did a few days ago when I wasn't. You're surprised, I know. You thought limbs would be falling off and I'd be complaining about back pain- actually, come to think of it.. I think I twisted something, and I've started using my sword as a cane.

Oh, buddy, that sucks! Don't worry, us whippersnappers will take care of you. Or throw you in a home. Depends if I'm in your will or not. [She grins, amused by the love of Hades--it's about time somebody wasn't swearing by Judeo-Christian mythology, all right, Libby was starting to worry that her time maybe would turn into a theocracy if it was this pervasive.]

If you get ugly, though, I'm out. For the record. And I'll take dumb pics of you and put them on the network and everyone will laugh at your wrinkly old ass. It'd be awesome. [A beat.] I change my mind. Get wrinkly as fast as possible. Go live in the pool.

video + voice | make me a beast half as brave i'd be the same

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